I’ve been losing the frame and letting the woman lead the interactions. One example recently I was out on a coffee date and it started off good. I had originally planned to take her to the park afterwards, but she suggested getting margaritas instead. I liked her idea better and then we go drinking. That goes well for a little bit until we ordered the second pitcher. Then I started to get sick. I stop drinking and then we decide to get more beer. I felt better after drinking the beer. Then we change venues and play some pool.

At this point we are really drunk and she mentions that she wants to meet up with a guy friend that she works with who she said is whipped with girlfriend and is only fun to hang out with when he is drunk. I think nothing of it and go on with her to the next venue to meet up with the friend. I meet the guy and he was all over her and putting his arms around her the whole time. To me it did not seem like he was just a friend and I felt like the third wheel. I told her I had to go meet up with another friend and left her. She sent me a text the next morning asking me if I made it home okay and said sorry about last night and being really drunk. I never responded back to her text.

I’m not sure if I overreacted by leaving, but I felt like she disrespected me. Part of it is my fault though for not taking control and drinking too much. I never tried to kiss her either and I’m pretty sure I blew it by now because I didn’t go for it. How would you guys have handled this? I need tips on controlling the frame and taking the lead.

What happened is you let her slip through your fingers.

Next time, if you wanted the park, GO FOR the park.

Don't let your date take control of the direction.

You probably weren't that 'interesting' to her, otherwise
she would've never excused herself to meet this whipped
dude.

It was an excuse to get away from you.

If you got a good vibe from her, you should've made a move on her, especially when you were both drunk. That way you may have pre-empted the other guy from doing the same thing. Also by not acting you may have risked placed yourself in the "friend zone".

On the other hand, it is still early days and you only went out on one date, if you get a second date with her you may be able to re-take control of the situation, so all is not lost.

You are the man and should be the one in charge. Taking control means controlling yourself especially when out on a date with a girl you like. You felt disrespected alright, but there will always be another chance. Ask for another date, and take the lead.