Do you guys have any tips on how to improve my way of coming up with cool stuff to say off the top of the dome.Like something funny and ****y you know that is really clever.Is there a way to train yourself for this to get better at it?

cool dude said:

Do you guys have any tips on how to improve my way of coming up with cool stuff to say off the top of the dome.Like something funny and ****y you know that is really clever.Is there a way to train yourself for this to get better at it?

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One of the best ways is to watch a lot standup. Not just one show. A lot. You get entertained and laugh your ass off and you subconsciously become wittier. Its a total win-win.


And honestly, as dorky as it sounds, watching some of Yahtzees' videos will help for that on-the-fly witty remark ****.

Every time I hear something especially hilarious I try to remember what was said and adapt it to new conversations later on. It works.

Conversation follows a pattern, and it's not unusual for the same incidences to come up again and again.

For example, questions I can almost guarantee you will be asked at some point in the near future:
"What do you do?"
"Where are you from?"
"How old are you?"
etc.

Make up a funny response and use it.

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing, or just a look, or a raised eyebrow.

Just have lots of conversations. The more women you talk to the more you can calibrate what to say...you'll learn from gauging the reaction, on if your gone to far or not.

When in a conversation, you REALLY have to think about what the other person is saying. Not just the meaning of the words, but the words themselves. Like if a girl uses a funny word to describe something. You can take that word out of context and DELIVER it in a new, funny way. When trying to be witty, delivery is key.

Some girl I'm talking to uses the word 'yummy' alot when were talkin about places to eat. The other day I took her fishing and after we caught the first fish, I kept sayin "Man.... don't he look yummy?" And I even started using the word completely out of context to make fun of her even further.

You get better with time, but this is a good start. It really comes down to practice. Another example:

On my myspace in the 'People you'd like to meet' section I wrote: "A nice, hot, friendly girl." Some girl messaged me and said something like, "A nice, hot, AND friendly girl? Aren't you asking a little much, haha"

My reply was "Dam, so THAT explains why I'm still single! Maybe I can do with just hot and friendly, thanks for pointing that out."

You really need to think 'outside the box' and not of typical responses. But don't fall into the trap of thinking TOO HARD. You'll drive yourself nuts that way.

Just relax and use words to your advantage. Take the other advice to watch some comedians, and PRACTICE. You'll get better with time. Good Luck!

I just go from the top of my head. Saturday night I knocked over my pint lighting a cigarette (I was halfway through pint 8) and it spilled all over the table and some of landed on the girl I was with on her upper thigh/crotch area. I just looked at her and said "At least I can get you wet."

haha that's hilarious.I hope it will get better in time but I am also thinking maybe I won't maybe I lost my wittiness,but that is just me being negative. I also realized over time that there are good ways to make progress and then there are ways that just keep you stuck in one spot,it sucks. Thanks for the tips though.

Here's what trips me up, it may be different for others, but this what really gets me: thinking. The more I plan on what I am going to say and the more I think about it, the more I muck it up. I just let whatever is on my mind slip out. It makes things more interesting.

theunflushables said:

I just go from the top of my head. Saturday night I knocked over my pint lighting a cigarette (I was halfway through pint 8) and it spilled all over the table and some of landed on the girl I was with on her upper thigh/crotch area. I just looked at her and said "At least I can get you wet."

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I'm gonna use that soon

No I am not going to deliberately knock a pint over haha

I remember taking one of Matador's bootcamp after the show and the one tip that I think helped me the most when it came to training myself to be ****y funny was to write field reports. Rather, while I was writing field reports, I made a note of all the jokes I had made that night in field.

You'll notice yourself telling the same jokes/stories over and over again. Though it may seem redundant, it really does help build your game and you'll be able to trigger responses on cue.

So get used to writing field reports, and keep a log of funny "quips" you had that night.

I'm blessed by being naturally very witty. I think it's because of my family. When I was growing up, my whole family was always sarcastic as hell, and I must have picked it up.

We CONSTANTLY gave each other sh*t. My parents, uncles, grandparents, everyone is always trying to make people laugh or give sh*t in a funny way. So I think the best way to become witty and funny, is to hang out with witty and funny people, and immerse yourself in it. Start just saying sh*t off the top of your head. Start giving people sh*t, and be able to take it.

oh yea when I was a kid I used to be hilarious.I always use to make people laugh but then I grew up and started to go through depression and now I have to rebuild myself from scratch it seems like.have you guys ever walk by a person or whatever and thought of something to say to them and for some reason the words are just locked on your head.I'm thinkin when that happens again I am just gonna go back to that person and force myself to say whats in my head.For some reason when I got older thats when I got worse mentally. It sucks because people I use to just attract people to me no prob but now I am having a hard to meeting people. whats a field log,like a journal?