Bit of a rant,bringing up some points probably already discussed,but none the less,I want to say all this....

As I type this, I am watching Tyra. Why? It's on and I am just looking for something to watch. Anyways,it's some q&a thing with chicks about stuff like sex,dating,fashion,etc. It represents to me,just more of the stupid superficial crap people at large seem to care about and I don't. It's representative and geared toward this idea of "modern,urban hipness". Something,I just don't relate too. Yet,I am compelled to watch crap like this,and I'm the type of person who berates reality tv. I often at times feel above,or disconnected from the world. Call it a complex or whatever,but it's been my reaction to things throughout time. Obviously,the sex part got to me,due to my hangups/insecurties/inexperience. I guess I am a little too wound up or serious when it comes to it. I have also started to ask and realize things,like women are stupid,and care about crap I really don't. I'm not religous,but can see where the idea of original sin comes from. So that makes me think,women need to know and stay in they're place. If they did,there would be less problems for us.

Also,something happened last night that has been bugging me. It was my day off,so on day's off,I tend to do nothing,and drink sometimes. Not productive,I know. So,my freind came up. He and I often spend alot of time together. We are alike in some ways. Well,my father had been home,and he had been drinking. Sometimes,he feels he needs to add his 2 cents,even when he hasn't been asked too. So,he goes,"Why aren't you guys out? Having fun,chasing girls. You two aren't queer are you?" So,in a fit of drunken anger,I exploded,threw some empty beer bottles around,and was generally pissed off. What he said obviously hit a nerve. But,I also feel,he see's the problem as well. I was pissed at him today,so I didn't really talk to him when I saw him. So what this means,I don't know.

More negativity.

Bad: "I feel like crap because yadda yadda, rant"
Good: "How can I feel really good? These are the problems I need to solve"

One statement is destructive, one is constructive and you talk about the same things.


BTW. Why are you watching Tyra? She's such a dumb b*tch.

Ive also flagged some of your messages to the mods. You need to learn the hard way that normal people do not like negativity. You want to keep being like this? Then you're going to love being alone which you already are.

Keep it up.

Why do I? Amusement I guess. Or I like to see wtf people are thinking.

I am trying to aim more toward the good,but get conflicted with the bad.

I often at times feel above,or disconnected from the world. Call it a complex or whatever,but it's been my reaction to things throughout time.

Click to expand...

CC, please do yourself and everyone a favor, get over yourself.
You are clearly not 'above' or 'superior' to anyone.
Your tendency to look down on people, yet you have extreme inadequacy issues are what are ripping you apart. This has to stop.
Women arent the root of evil. And you arent superior to anyone.
And talk to your therapist about your orientation.
Stay on course.

Haha. I am straight as an arrow ok. I know I am not above anyone,but sometimes I feel I am.