So I've been playing in a college band for a little over 2 months. In that short time, we've already got a ton of bar shows and a frat party under our belts. My other band mates are pretty cool. They're in a frat, got their own house. They meet tonnes and tonnes of girls, and get action after every show, but I haven't yet.

Maybe it's because I'm new. They've been playing on and off for 3 years, and I just recently joined up when their drummer quite. I'm still getting to know them, but besides our practices and our gigs, they're never up for hanging out or to going to parties or introducing me to their circle.

The only girl I've met was at a show 2 weeks ago. We made out after the show. After I had helped my friends load our cars with all our gear, she invited me to her place. When we were there, we made out some more, but instead of going for sex, I decided to play the "cool jerk" and say I should leave, hoping it would make her want me more the next time we saw eachother and got her number.

But I called her twice in the next 4 days and she didn't pick up. I have a rule if a girl doesn't pick up her phone, I delete her number.

The question is, what can I do to break more into my bandmates' circle? Will it just take time playing with them more? And what can I do to meet more girls at my shows?

When we were there, we made out some more, but instead of going for sex, I decided to play the "cool jerk" and say I should leave, hoping it would make her want me more the next time we saw eachother and got her number.

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What the fvck were you thinking??? She probably went and told all her girlfriends that you're a big pvssy. Dont ever do that again!

Anyways... being in a band does not make chicks throw themselves at you, unless your a bonafide rock star. You still need game. I've been playing in bands since I was 18, and yes, SOMETIMES, crazy shyt will happen, but usually the load-out kills my chances. There is often a limited amount of time to interact with people after you're done playing, due to loading your stuff, and driving back to wherever you put it, to throw any game down.

If you dont have game, being in a band isnt going to help MUCH. It shows high value, and it is great for your confidence, but unless your in Motley Crue, you cant just point at four of them at once, and insta-orgy.

You need to work on your game, and only use your band status, as a bonus. You're a drummer, you're are sort of in the back, anyway. Also remember that when your busy setting up, playing, and loading up, the girls are getting gamed by everyone else, so you need to have even more of an angle.

I've been playing in bands since I was like 19 and you have to really carry the rockstar image with you offstage or at least make them think you act as confident as you do on stage.. Its the rockstar they are attracted to, girls love guys with skills!!!!

I'm a race car driver. They dig us too.

horaholic said:

What the fvck were you thinking??? She probably went and told all her girlfriends that you're a big pvssy. Dont ever do that again!

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I thought it would be a demonstration of higher value to show her I was willing to make her wait a few days. I have gotten 2 girls to put out later by getting them worked up during a make out session then bailing halfway. I thought it would work a 3rd time.

Besides, I was tired, hungover, and my neck and shoulders were killing me from the load up.