Ok so I recently found out that I will be going overseas for a week and since someone else had already booked the NYC to UK leg of the journey it is up to me to get my flight up to NYC.

I started thinking what a shame it would be to be stuck at the airport there for six hours not getting the opportunity to visit a city I have always wanted to see.

The wheels started turning, and before you know it I start thinking "Hey, I will ALREADY BE THERE. I might as well stay a couple of nights since I haven't yet booked my flight. I can even make a couple of business contacts while I am there".

As I was thinking about it I realized that I know a few people there. One is a chick that used to live here in town that I hooked up with a few times that moved up there about a year and a half ago. Hadn't talked to her since, but I decided to hit her up (see my Myspace thread). She sounded very excited to hear from me and says she wants to show me around when I'm there.

So I have been communicating back and forth with her trying to feel her out since she was pretty flaky back then. It isn't like I NEED her when I'm there but if we're gonna hang out I would like to be able to plan accordingly and be able to count on her.

Anyway, each email she sounds more and more excited, but on my last one I sent her to confirm that I had booked a hotel I decide to see if I can get some odds on whether she's gonna flake out on me or not. So I send her this email

Ok, so I'm booking this thing and I plan on us hanging out, so you aren't going to decide to run off to Vegas and get married or book an African safari on those days, are you? Just have to ask.....

Anyway, here's the hotel I booked

Hotel xxxxxxxx
xxxx Street
New York, NY 10036

The price just dropped so I jumped on it. Looks decent.

I don't want to impose but I'm hoping to have at least Thursday night and the entire day on Friday free so let me know what your schedule looks like and I will try to work things out.

I'm all about local flava. Definitely into the local stuff. It's a big city and there is no way I'll be able to see it all in a day so I'm putting my faith in you. I'm pretty lucky to be traveling with a local in the UK and I'm staying with a friend in Philly, so it will be great to round it out with an NYC local.

Let me know what's up. See you soon,

STR8UP

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Notice the "get married" joke? Thought I could also feel her out as to her "status", and it worked like a charm. She replies.....

Haha! Ur funny! No African Safarai for me or Vegas marriage! Despite my year of Florida lifestyle, I'm pretty stable now! I'm actually thinking of moving in with my boyfriend and I'm going to grad school in the fall. I will definately take off of work and I'm really excited to see you!!!!!

BTW... why aren't you on Facebook??? Myspace is so lame. You can see pics in advance of my friends and the bars and what not... (not to mention a sweeeeet video of me brushing my dog's teeth)...

Oh and you'll get local FLAVA!!!!! BAHAHA!!!!

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So now I'm pretty sure she's not going to flake (although after my recent experiences I don't rule it out!) and I know she has a b/f.

My main reason for contacting her was to be able to have a contact (tour guide or at least someone to give me pointers), but hey, this chick is cute and wild in the sack (last time I fukked her she told me to bring my camera to the bedroom so I already have some nice momentos, hehe) so I wouldn't mind hitting it again. If not, no big deal either.

I have a few months before I go and I plan on keeping in touch. I was thinking about digging a little more with the C&F by responding to this email with something like

"Oh, boyfriend...sorry to hear that I don't want some guido chasing me around the city with a pizza cutter so you're gonna have to tell one of your hot girlfriends that she's in charge of making out with me the whole night. I don't want him to get the wrong idea"

I could just play it by ear, no expectations, just see what happens, but I'd rather use the opportunity to feel out the situation so I know whether or not I need to be macking her or her friends when I get there. Actually, I should mack on her friends anyway and see what happens. If anything she will want me more, haha. I'm thinking it can't hurt to get playful with the contact and see what kind of intel I can get.

Any other ideas?

STR8UP said:

Any other ideas?

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Yes, get ahold of someone that is SINGLE.

My god buddy why do you CONSTANTLY get yourself involved with women that are taken, have low IL, bisexual, etc? I mean its like you are purposely searching out women that are unavailable. You're gonna spend 3 months on this thing, worrying, stressing, or even just thinking about it wasting time, only to get there and be in total friends zone.

I don't get it.

Nice detective work though. And you write well.

cordoncordon said:

Yes, get ahold of someone that is SINGLE.

My god buddy why do you CONSTANTLY get yourself involved with women that are taken, have low IL, bisexual, etc? I mean its like you are purposely searching out women that are unavailable. You're gonna spend 3 months on this thing, worrying, stressing, or even just thinking about it wasting time, only to get there and be in total friends zone.

I don't get it.

Nice detective work though. And you write well.

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Ok, so I am going to an unfamiliar city by myself where I know THREE people. The first is an older gentleman who is cool but definitely not into the same things I am. The second is a model that worked for me a couple of times that although I had good chemistry with her, I don't know her very well. The third is a chick that I "dated" a few times who I have a bit of a track record with.

Maybe I should have myspaced the model I met twice to see if she wouldn't mind showing me around town for a couple of days?

Creeeeepy.....

Or I could have emailed the guy I know asking if he wouldn't mind taking some time to show me around?

I would probably fall asleep, but I guess i could have done that.....

Or when i found out about the b/f maybe I have told the chick I DID contact "Sorry, I can't hang out with you since you have a b/f".

Of course not, that would be ridiculous.

Are you suggesting that I should not have contacted anyone?

I don't think that is what you are suggesting.

If this chick is down to party, I would be stupid to turn it down. Am I going to push the issue? No, but most of the time in situations like this you don't have to, women fukk around at the drop of a hat, despite popular belief, er, I mean popular "fantasy".

How is this "seeking out a woman who is unavailable"?

Why would I "worry, stress, and waste time" with this? It's a couple of emails that take me ten minutes to write....

Who knows....maybe I won't end up with her OR any of her friends OR anyone else for that matter. I'm just looking for a good time and that doesn't necessarily have to include sex. But at the same time I'm not gonna turn it down if it looks good and is there for the taking.

The fact that she brought up moving in with her bf should tell you she's taken. She wouldn't bring it up at this time if she was interested in a hookup. However, she sounds like she is willing to hook you up with her friends, since she suggested that you look through pics of them.

It's great to have a woman to show you around in an unfamiliar city, because she will be happy to introduce you to all her single friends--and, since they're her friends, to them you will have the ultimate social proof--you used to hook up with her! You should be able to have your pick of her single friends for at least a night.

Really, the only way you can screw this up--and this worries me just b/c you seem to be leaning in this direction--is by trying to game your tour guide. If you come off as anything more than a friend to her, her bf is going to prevent her from hanging out with you, and you'll lose access to all her HB friends. Your best bet is to befriend the dude--chances are, he's going to be out with her, and if he sees that you're not after his gf, he'll probably help you hook up with her friends.

Don't send that c&f message about her bf--you'd be insulting her just as much as him by implying that she's moving in with an angry guido, and it will make things very uncomfortable. The 'hot girlfriends' thing is fine, though.

The main point is: Forget about your past with this girl and just be a genuine cool guy that isn't looking to get in her pants again. Be cool with her and her boyfriend, and they will be more than glad to hook you up with ladies.

I'm actually thinking of moving in with my boyfriend

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Here she prepares her exit plan.

Now when she flakes, there is an alibi.

STR8UP said:

Actually, I should mack on her friends anyway and see what happens. If anything she will want me more, haha. I'm thinking it can't hurt to get playful with the contact and see what kind of intel I can get.

Any other ideas?

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Dude, you have been around long enough to know how to decode 'womanspeek' ..

She , "..I am thinking about moving in with..B/f "

Translation," I am in a committed relationship with my guy and there is no chance that you are I are going to get naked"

She, " I can't wait to see you." (gushes and shrieks...)

Translation, " I guess that I should have coffee with you for old times sake, but I may change my mind."


She, " look ...at my friends on Facebook ."

Translation, " I plan to set you up with Mary Jo who is kind of chubby but has some inner beauty. SHe can give you the guided tour."

Women who are from your sexual past, and now have a new B/f , erect a shield of politeness and an obligation to be civil with you. However, long ago, she withdrew her funds in her investment with you and then bought stock in the new B/f .

She will protect that investment now.

Good point about her mentioning the boyfriend. Generally women don't do that unless they are really into the b/f because it essentially means cutting off her options. The only thing that would make me think otherwise is that when I was hanging out with her (although it was casual) she didn't seem like one man could satisfy her. She's a bit of a wild child

Like I said I could really care less though.. Been there done that, and although I am attracted to her, the sex wasn't great. I would actually rather be the mysterious guy from out of town with ultra-social proof anyway. I just have to be prepared for anything because I know how women operate and if she has "plans" for me it could turn into a c0ckblock situation. I know there is an opportunity to have a great time, just have to figure out how I will have the BEST time.

I generally do very well hooking up with women who are friends with chicks I know. Probably 5 of my last 6 hookups have been facilitated this way

I actually did think about contacting the model that lives there as well. Can't hurt to touch base. Hell, I think I had enough rapport with her that I might be able to get her to meet us out if nothing else. I'd be the fukkin' MAN!

guru1000 said:

Here she prepares her exit plan.

Now when she flakes, there is an alibi.

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It's possible, but my worst case is that I'm on my own for a day and a night. I'm sure i can find something to keep myself occupied.

I have learned not to rely or count on women until they have really proven themselves.

jophil28 said:

Dude, you have been around long enough to know how to decode 'womanspeek' ..

She , "..I am thinking about moving in with..B/f "

Translation," I am in a committed relationship with my guy and there is no chance that you are I are going to get naked"

She, " I can't wait to see you." (gushes and shrieks...)

Translation, " I guess that I should have coffee with you for old times sake, but I may change my mind."


She, " look ...at my friends on Facebook ."

Translation, " I plan to set you up with Mary Jo who is kind of chubby but has some inner beauty. SHe can give you the guided tour."

Women who are from your sexual past, and now have a new B/f , erect a shield of politeness and an obligation to be civil with you. However, long ago, she withdrew her funds in her investment with you and then bought stock in the new B/f .

She will protect that investment now.

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I think it's 50/50 on the "invested in the b/f" thing, but that doesn't matter as it isn't going to change my plans either way.

And I think it's a bit more than feeling an obligation to be civil. I only contacted her asking for some pointers and she was the one going all crazy asking how much time she should take off work and whatnot.

All I know is that I need a vacation and I'm gonna have a good time. Woman, multiple women, chubby woman, no woman, whatever. Man, I love to travel.....

blueblue said:

I guess when str8 gets back from this adventure, we'll hear the full report with all the details.

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And if I do I'm sure you will be right there to troll it.

I just thought of something. I have posted several times about women and their questionable behavior when they are in relationships.

Now I don't know anything about her relationship or what she has planned with me, but I'm fairly certain that it isn't going to involve the b/f for two nights AND at least one full day. What, is she going to tell him to request a couple days off too?

Brings us back to the "what's a chick doing making plans like this with another guy if she is in a relationship"?

I'm all about giving a chick the line and let her choose whether or not to hang herself, but I know I wouldn't be too comfortable with my chick showing some dude around town. This would go double if it was nighttime stuff and I wasn't around.

I have been in situations where my g/f had an afc orbiter she obviously had no interest in and I was perfectly comfortable with them hanging out cause I met him and he was harmless as could be. You can tell a lot about how a man and a woman react around each other whether there is sexual chemistry....

A situation like this would have to be pretty awkward for a b/f though. This chick was pretty into me when she lived here and we have "history". I put 75% odds that he won't even be around. He might even be long distance, judging from some odd comments on her myspace....

I'm thinking everyone's advice about macking the friends is solid though. In light of the b/f revelation I definitely think I'm gonna contact the model too and see I get a bite. She's a 24 yr old solid 9 latina. Mmmmm......

A lot can happen in 3 months..

Demodulate said:

A lot can happen in 3 months..

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Tru dat.

I'm on her facebook now and ican see that she's pretty chummy with the b/f, although it looks like he's long distance.

She's got some cute friends though. I'm taking that angle. And I'm gonna contact the model and see if she's down for meeting up. Since I don't know the model that well it's going to be a lot less threatening if I ask her to meet up with me in a public place with me and a bunch of other people (chicks).

We'll see what happens....

do you ever just go with the flow? you've always got some scheme going.

persistent exaction said:

do you ever just go with the flow? you've always got some scheme going.

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Not really. Go with the flow i mean, I don't usually go with the flow....

I'm kinda OCD like that. When I plan a trip I like to research the hell out of it, try to figure out what's gonna go down and when.

Same with women I guess. I'm fascinated by the psychology behind mating and dating, so I turn everything into a social experiment. People here take it the wrong way, but, eh, fukk 'em.