You 'buy' a relationship, not 'build' one

[Anti-Dump]

What the hell do I mean?

You 'buy' a relationship NOT build one.

It means when you first meet a woman she has to ALREADY have the potential for being a partner.

Take computers. You could build one yourself. I saw them. They are called 'kits'.
Very, very few people have the desire and patience to build their own computer.

But that's what most guys try to do in relationships. They try to 'build' a relationship with talk and kindness and gifts and flowers.

All the while the woman is not the sort of woman who should be IN a relationship.

A woman who is not relationship worthy will think nothing of dating you.
She thinks she has every right to. Even though she is demented.

When you 'buy' a car, you don't try to put a different transmission into it. You don't put 'bigfoot' tires on it either.

You buy it the way you WANT it to be. If it's not RIGHT you don't buy it at all!

If your girlfriend is not acting like you think she should be, it's because you didn't 'buy' a relationship.

You thought you were smarter than the Don Juan who CHOSE the right one in the first place.

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[terminator911]

Great post!

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"Women. They've got half the money in the world and all the pu$$y."

[Brazilian_Blues_Boy]

Bump !

[daniel]

Yeah, great! Never thought of that! But I have to disagree on the computer and car parts... :) I'm into tuning cars and I like to do stuff myself! So, when I buy a car it's not left the way it was! And I don't buy it (yeah I wish.. I need money to do that :p ) with all the options (e.g. a preinstalled stereo, or sweet rims)... My current computer is also built from separate parts. This, of course, is just me... But I totally agree that I should not adapt that diy-style to women :)
Looks like BBB has been reading some old posts :)

[Elimidate]

Great concept.

I've bought the "Cars" or "Computers" in the past that you've

mentioned above only because they were on sale at the right

time!

A lemon will always be a fruit nomatter what. lol

Elimidate

[HalfAddict]

Bump It.

[Formico]

It's funny because I see it differently. Maybe I'm just clinging to my denotations for the words "buy" and "build" but I feel that you build a relationship by building attraction, comfort and then seduction (whichever order you use is up to you) whereas if you buy a relationship (getting gifts, flowers, and in some cases cars after only one week of dating...) you have a better chance of scaring the woman off, or even worse, ending up with a woman where these actions are considered to be "required". It's better to "build" something than it is to "buy" it because you understand better how it works. However, you do have to have the right materials (woman) first before you start building anything.

[HalfAddict]

Well the message being conveyed is not as literal as you think Formico.


When he says you buy a relationship, he's not saying you smother her in gifts and affection....

He's saying you find one that's already right for you...

You don't go to the store to buy a red medium shirt to take it home spend a few weeks on it to make it a green XL shirt.... Not when you can just buy your green XL shirt outright.

Just like you don't become a woman's friend to "build" your relationship.

You just find the right one and skip the hassle.

[Hot Ice Casanova]

Great little post! Puts a totally new spin on "buying" the babe!

[muscleman]

The car analogy is good, but I disagree about computers. Most people who build their own do so because they want it to be very specific to what they want. I think you have it backwards. But yea, good post.

[Warrior74]

It's funny because I see it differently. Maybe I'm just clinging to my denotations for the words "buy" and "build" but I feel that you build a relationship by building attraction, comfort and then seduction (whichever order you use is up to you)


thats called test driving it.


the rest you are confusing the issue with semantics over terminology.

[Arakune]

I disagree because then you start looking at every chick as a potential Girlfriend or wife

I thought the point of dating around was to have fun and see where it goes, not to find the "One"

[horaholic]

I disagree because then you start looking at every chick as a potential Girlfriend or wife

I thought the point of dating around was to have fun and see where it goes, not to find the "One"


Has it ever occured to you that different people want different things?

This "see where it goes" is what gets us guys in trouble way too often. The onluy way to find someone worthy of having a relationship is to wwed out the hundreds of unworthy girls first. Thats why he says 'buy a relationship', and not build one. Building a relationship is like trying to change someone to suit your needs. Buying a relationship means you have made your selection of the ideal woman, and then go find her, instead of taking a crap woman and trying to build her into a housewife. It doesnt work too well, Im sure we've all noticed. If she aint what you want, dont buy it, and dont try to build her up.

How can you possibly disagree with this concept?

[Salvage]

This is silly.

Life is about growth and evolving and relationships are not there to be the perfect car or computer, they are there to teach you about yourself, in relation to other people.

Aside from the erroneous analogy between a woman and a car that you can buy with different options, even if you could customize a woman, the point of a relationship isn't to have a woman who serves your every need, as if she was a car or computer but to learn and grow from the relationship.

In reality, you don't even KNOW what girl is best for you, you only have some rough ideas.