hey guys,

a woman i had a fling with a while ago and have intermittent contact with (mostly me initiating, i admit-i'm still attracted to her) got me a gig at the bar she works in last month.

i played and though i invited her along (she lives close by and expressed an interest - she got me the gig!) she didn't show up or offer a cursory explanation (which is unusual as she is normally polite). i decided to not demean myself and fish for one and have had no contact since (it was august 3rd).

my dilemma is that i am playing there again on sunday and while i don't want to invite her (she was rude and displayed low interest) i am concerned that not inviting her will make me appear deeply affected by her rejection. if it was anywhere else i wouldn't (and haven't) but she works there so she'll know about it.

i realise this might be a bit weak minded but i usually invite her (via group text) so don't want my incongruence to come across as game playing etc..

i think i need some sort of kick up the arse.

thanks

Since you came here and typed out this post, you are obviously affected by this woman. If she hasn't contacted you either, then she doesn't care. You have to care less than her, otherwise, you'll just run her off.

Don't do anything that's based out of fear of losing her or the fear of making a wrong move. Always do the opposite in this case. If you're scared you'll come off like you were affected by her actions and you feel you need to invite her, then do the opposite and don't invite her.

Don't worry. Girls like guys that they can't have, so don't ever let her, or any other woman for that matter, see you sweat.

One thing I would tell you is that you shouldn't waste time on low interested women. If you don't waste your time on this girl who seems to have low interest, you'll only be displaying self-respect. There's nothing more attractive to a woman than a guy with self-respect.

Good luck, bro!

thanks for the advice, mate.

i was focusing on the etiquette of the situation which as i suspected, wasn't really my concern at all but i guess that's just an example of the devious way our insucurities creep in to make us do something dumb. it's incredible how we can pour over the small details and miss the big picture. your perspective makes it a lot clearer.

i'll refocus on the job at hand: to play an amazing gig.

thanks again

Mavrick said:

Since you came here and typed out this post, you are obviously affected by this woman. If she hasn't contacted you either, then she doesn't care. You have to care less than her, otherwise, you'll just run her off.

Don't do anything that's based out of fear of losing her or the fear of making a wrong move. Always do the opposite in this case. If you're scared you'll come off like you were affected by her actions and you feel you need to invite her, then do the opposite and don't invite her.

Don't worry. Girls like guys that they can't have, so don't ever let her, or any other woman for that matter, see you sweat.

One thing I would tell you is that you shouldn't waste time on low interested women. If you don't waste your time on this girl who seems to have low interest, you'll only be displaying self-respect. There's nothing more attractive to a woman than a guy with self-respect.

Good luck, bro!

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I can say from experience that Mavrick is 100% correct!