Okay here comes the story.
First of all I want to give you some background. As most people here I was an AFC a few months ago, until is discovered Pook and his great book and his comments. They opened my eyes and made me a better person.
As most of you, I think, I also came here because of a special girl. I mean I have been an AFC all my life and that is why I messed up with quite some girls. Every time they showed interest I fvcked it up, by showing to much interest, having her on a pedestal and so on.
However the situation with her was a little different. I never actually tried to get her. I just never thought it would make much sense, since she is really religious, with I don’t know exactly, but I think this whole no sex before marriage stuff. Still, I was kind of her best friend for about 1.5 years and although in this case, I never wanted to be with her, so that was never the reason I was friends with her. But someday it just kind of happened that I felt more for her. I don’t know if I actually love her or anything, but I sure want her like hell.
About 10 weeks ago, our contact began to get smaller and smaller, for real life issues like completing School, but also that I realized this whole AFC and nice guy stuff and she was like the biggest part of my old life and I tried to begin new and let this old AFC behind me. About 6 weeks ago, I told her that our friendship had no purpose for me anymore and that I didn’t want to see her anymore. Then I read more and more like this book “no more Mr. Nice Guy” and I realized that I often treated her badly and that she doesn’t deserve that and that she is not responsible for me being that nice guy und Afc. So, about 3 weeks ago, I wrote her and told her that I am sorry. She responded and told me she was very sad and lonely without me and that she really wanted to talk to me after all of the exams were over. Her exams are over on Monday and I told her that I call her then and we make a date for our “conversation”.
So the date will be in about 5 days and I don’t really know what I should do/say. As I already said I really like her, she is special to me, although I don’t think that she is better than me or that I could not find a better one. Still, I want her.
I do not think that there is still a point to this being friends thing, I want her and not be her friend. But I have to tell her, right? But, there are also a few question that come to my mind, like is there a chance she wants me too? I mean I never sensed some thing like that, but we were friends I mean I don’t know since when she could have known I like her a bit more than normal. Does it mean something, that she wants to talk to me instead of just saying nothing, or fvck you or anything like that? Could these 10 weeks we hardly saw each other, make her clear how much she really likes me and the feeling of losing me, make her clear, that I am not self-evident to her? If she was just a friend would she respond in the same way, or would she not just say screw you or not offer to talk in the first place?
When she comes to the date (or whatever it is) does she know before, if she likes me and wants to be with me or does she wait what I have to say and decides then?
I mean if she has already decided, it doesn’t matter what I say.
But if not, I don’t want to screw it up, I don’t want to say I love you or I really like you or I don’t know, the typical things an AFC would say, but I have to make it clear, to come any further.
So you Don Juans out there, pls share your wisdom with a beginner like me.
I know that there are many many better looking, smarter women out there, but I know her for so long, I really know her well and she is special to me.
If there are questions, pls do not hesitate to ask, I will try to answer them as fast and correct as I can!
Ok, thx in advance
First of all I want to give you some background. As most people here I was an AFC a few months ago, until is discovered Pook and his great book and his comments. They opened my eyes and made me a better person.
As most of you, I think, I also came here because of a special girl. I mean I have been an AFC all my life and that is why I messed up with quite some girls. Every time they showed interest I fvcked it up, by showing to much interest, having her on a pedestal and so on.
However the situation with her was a little different. I never actually tried to get her. I just never thought it would make much sense, since she is really religious, with I don’t know exactly, but I think this whole no sex before marriage stuff. Still, I was kind of her best friend for about 1.5 years and although in this case, I never wanted to be with her, so that was never the reason I was friends with her. But someday it just kind of happened that I felt more for her. I don’t know if I actually love her or anything, but I sure want her like hell.
About 10 weeks ago, our contact began to get smaller and smaller, for real life issues like completing School, but also that I realized this whole AFC and nice guy stuff and she was like the biggest part of my old life and I tried to begin new and let this old AFC behind me. About 6 weeks ago, I told her that our friendship had no purpose for me anymore and that I didn’t want to see her anymore. Then I read more and more like this book “no more Mr. Nice Guy” and I realized that I often treated her badly and that she doesn’t deserve that and that she is not responsible for me being that nice guy und Afc. So, about 3 weeks ago, I wrote her and told her that I am sorry. She responded and told me she was very sad and lonely without me and that she really wanted to talk to me after all of the exams were over. Her exams are over on Monday and I told her that I call her then and we make a date for our “conversation”.
So the date will be in about 5 days and I don’t really know what I should do/say. As I already said I really like her, she is special to me, although I don’t think that she is better than me or that I could not find a better one. Still, I want her.
I do not think that there is still a point to this being friends thing, I want her and not be her friend. But I have to tell her, right? But, there are also a few question that come to my mind, like is there a chance she wants me too? I mean I never sensed some thing like that, but we were friends I mean I don’t know since when she could have known I like her a bit more than normal. Does it mean something, that she wants to talk to me instead of just saying nothing, or fvck you or anything like that? Could these 10 weeks we hardly saw each other, make her clear how much she really likes me and the feeling of losing me, make her clear, that I am not self-evident to her? If she was just a friend would she respond in the same way, or would she not just say screw you or not offer to talk in the first place?
When she comes to the date (or whatever it is) does she know before, if she likes me and wants to be with me or does she wait what I have to say and decides then?
I mean if she has already decided, it doesn’t matter what I say.
But if not, I don’t want to screw it up, I don’t want to say I love you or I really like you or I don’t know, the typical things an AFC would say, but I have to make it clear, to come any further.
So you Don Juans out there, pls share your wisdom with a beginner like me.
I know that there are many many better looking, smarter women out there, but I know her for so long, I really know her well and she is special to me.
If there are questions, pls do not hesitate to ask, I will try to answer them as fast and correct as I can!
Ok, thx in advance
