It’s said over and over not to have oneitis. I’ve read about it over and over, and so have you. I’ve got a remedy for those who want to be in a monogamous relationship. For all of you that want to have that one love in your life, do not give up your time devoted to your other loves.

Passions

Whatever your passions are in life, do not give them up for a woman, but love them equally. Do not give up golfing, working out, fishing, reading, karate, friends, or whatever passions you have in your life. Love them equally as you love your woman and devote your time to them equally, and do not neglect your passions.

Creating a Challenge

When you devote your time to your other loves and passions that are viewed equal to your woman, you’re creating a challenge. She won’t be jealous of other women (because that's not what you want), but she will be jealous that you enjoy other passions outside of your relationship. She will want you to give them up and spend more time with her, but you’re not going to do that. This will invoke more interest in you on her part. She will be intrigued by your devotion to other passions and will try to win you over.

Too Busy to Wait by a Phone

One thing that keeps relationships thriving for men is not to appear desperate or needy. When you’re busy, it’s hard to appear desperate. When you have many things going on in your life and it’s full of friends, it’s hard to look needy. When you’re life is full of abundance, you will not appear as a loser.

Fill Your Life with Joy

Fill your life full of joy and passion. Don’t allow a woman to be your only joy and happiness. Only allow her to be a part of all the joy you’ve found in life. Love yourself more than your woman and your passions, and don’t get upset when things don’t go your way because you still have the one thing that is greater in your life than all the things that give you joy. You have yourself. Be good to yourself. The best way to be good to yourself is by loving yourself.

Delayed Gratification versus Momentary Satisfaction

The ability to have delay gratification is often a sign of emotional and social maturity. When you can work hard and foresee an abundant future, you will reap the rewards. The same applies to women. When you can take the slow approach to women, you will reap the rewards of the relationship with her. When you fill your life full of other passions and deferred gratification of your own goals, you will come from a place of abundance. When your live is abundant, you will not need your woman. You will just enjoy her.

When you live your life seeking momentary satisfaction, you will never be fulfilled. No one will ever do enough for you. Your woman will get sick of you because she will become like a drug. You’ll have serious withdrawal symptoms that will make you feel like death when she’s backing away. You’ll be no different than the cocaine addict that needs his next fix that never is enough.

Have an Abundant Lifestyle outside Your Monogamous Relationship

Fill your life with your passions and become fulfilled. Do not go into a relationship without already knowing who you are, what you like, and having an abundant lifestyle. Otherwise, you will end up very lonely. Go into every relationship being ok with being alone because you have what it takes. When you can do this, stepping out of the relationship will not be hard, and you will always hold the cards.

Mavrick said:

...Your woman will get sick of you because she will become like a drug. You’ll have serious withdrawal symptoms that will make you feel like death when she’s backing away. You’ll be no different than the cocaine addict that needs his next fix that never is enough.

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Good post and this passage really jumped out at me, since I've felt that way. It's the natural consequence of seeking happiness outside yourself. If you have nothing much happening in your life, the woman will be your life.

What is really messed up about this, is that feeling of needing your next fix, by an AFC is confused with love. "If I didn't love her, then I wouldn't be feeling this way. How else could you explain all these emotions, must be love (then, she was the one, she was my soul-mate, it's all over, etc.)"

And then he may say "what's the point of pursuing my passions if I don't have my soul-mate with me. It's all pointless without the "strong woman behind me".

So neediness, the withrawl feelings, the ups and downs that the AFC experiences, is looked at as real love and a normal, healthy relationship will feel alien and wrong.

Like you say, the best way to take care of this is KNOW who you are, (or at least learn to continually discover who you are) and have other things happening. The simple fact is, if you're distracted by enjoying your life, and your passions (the things that really inspire and excite you), and this becomes a way of life for you, then what she does, or what you do when you're with her, not really such a big deal. You don't have room in your mind and body to worry about stuff. This may be theory in progress for me now, but I see the truth of it. I'm learning these lessons.