I met a girl, that so far, seems pretty cool. In my book, she's about an HB9 and 21. She comes from a big family, is family-oriented, Asian, sweet, doesn't go to many clubs, isn't a party animal, is in school, and really considerate.

The only glitch? She lives about an hour away. I don't think that's terrible, but it would be the farthest away from me that I've ever dated anyone. I'm fully aware of Rollo's buffers... I feel I'm taking this in the direction that I want, though, I'm definitely leading. Some other opinions on distance would be appreciated.

My traditional definition of long distance was about "couples" a thousand or so miles away from each other. Where is the gray area?

If you have no problem seeing eachother often in person I think this is the gray area you can get away with.

what would i consider long distance..??

ANYTHING THAT WILL MAKE ME QUESTION IF ITS LONG DISTANCE

DavenJuan said:

what would i consider long distance..??

ANYTHING THAT WILL MAKE ME QUESTION IF ITS LONG DISTANCE

Click to expand...

You don't believe in a gray area?

So, the prospect of trying to define "long distance" automatically disqualifies a girl as a possible candidate?

wjh said:

You don't believe in a gray area?

So, the prospect of trying to define "long distance" automatically disqualifies a girl as a possible candidate?

Click to expand...

im not saying this.

its kindve like the idea that " a room is never clean as long as ONE person finds something dirty to THEIR standards"

what i mean is Long Distance is only as long distance as the person in question.

so you may think its long distance, but another may feel its only around the corner.

i drive an hour to get to work every day. so an hour to ME is not long distance. but the FACT that you ask the question, will qualify this to be long distance.

now im not saying this is not a candidate, only you can answer that if its worth it or not.

Hmm...long distance. Well, it really depends on how often you get to see her. An hour away is not too bad because you can see each other at least once a week.

Now, say you couldn't see each other once a week with an hour away, then that becomes long distance. Whatever the situation may be, that prevents you from seeing each other once a week, is really not important. What's important is frequency of physical contact (not phones/text/email).

I know a couple who are about 500 miles from each other and have been going strong for a year and a half. I know of another couple who were 50 miles from each other and ended the relationship in 3 months.

DavenJuan said:

what would i consider long distance..??

ANYTHING THAT WILL MAKE ME QUESTION IF ITS LONG DISTANCE

Click to expand...

Damn good answer.

I think it comes down more to reality than perception. If you don't perceive it as being long distance but realistically don't spend any time with each other, then its long distance.

However if your able to spend 1-2 nights a week together on a consistant basis, then I don't think its very manageable. In some cities, it can take you an hour to get from one side to another. So to do the 180 that DavenJuan always inspires in me, perception does have a huge impact.

Somehow it always seems the guy in the LDR is the one doing most of the traveling. If the girl has to drive often she'll probably get bored of it. Oh it might start out equal (every other weekend or something) but i never see that last. Of course that's usually afc relationships.

That's what I usually witness. My roommate's gf is like 350 miles away and they've been dating 2 years after meeting on spring break. He goes up there at least twice as often as she comes here. My old roommate's gf is 2 hours away and she seems to come down only about once every 5 weeks and whines about it, while the guy goes up every weekend... just two examples.

I don't think i'd do more than about 45 minutes and that's only if i have nothing else going. I was doing the online dating thing for a bit and a few interesting women were that far, but when i met a really good one IN MY APT COMPLEX of all places, I forgot about them, much to their agony. It only seems attractive if I have nothing else going...like always.

A girl I'm seeing is off in training for work this week and already i'm annoyed at her calling everyday and in between calls emailing me. I was 90 min from a gf in college when i was a sucker, and i HATE HATE HATED her nightly phone call. "How was your day? How was class? Do you talk to the girls in your class? What should we name our babies? What did you eat today? Can we skip my weekend of coming there so you can come here and go to a fvcking baptism? No, we can't name our daughter Lilliella Jellybean" In person or bust.

From my experience,half an hour is just right for a LTR if you have several plates spinning and see them each once or twice a week,then to have the plates separated by an hour seems more appropriate

One hour away in many big metropolitan areas (especially if both live in the suburbs) don't seem that far away.