Loser or not?

Nikar · Apr 15, 2008

To cut it short:

There's a female colleague I like (for 1+ year) and despite 1+ year together, we seldom talk. She has a boyfriend since day one.
Recently, we talked more and got along much better than before, but she will be leaving the company in 1 month's time.

I will be giving her a sweet and cute farewell gift that is guaranteed to make her heart melt, but I'm not asking for anything in return since I know it's 100% impossible between us. The gift is more like my silent dedication to her for being fond of her for 1+ year. After that, I'll make myself forget everything.

The question is: Am I a loser?

You just need to answer YES / NO.
No need for further comments.

Thanks!
Xeon

gray_fox_9 · Apr 15, 2008

Its been said a million times on here...do NOT buy a woman gifts unless you are having sex/in a relationship with her....period.....

WesCottII · Apr 15, 2008

Loser? No.

Desperate would be my lexicon of choice. What has this woman done to earn this? What has she given you? Absolutly bloody nothing, apart from a few pleasentrys (sp).

Stop pinning your self worth on a woman. Jesus christ.

sosilky · Apr 15, 2008

If its her favorite sandwich that doesn't cost more then 5 dollars or some kind of inside joke you can write on a piece of paper...then maybe its not unreasonable...

slaog · Apr 15, 2008

Severe case of oneitis you have there!

When she leaves in a month you should celebrate because your time is wasting away chasing her.

MotownMack · Apr 15, 2008

You are likely a worthwhile person in some of your endeavors, but when it comes to this particular situation, you are indeed a loser of the utmost kind. A Class A Turd, is what you are.

Seriously dood, why would you buy a gift to make a girls heart melt when
1) You barely talk to her
2) She has a boyfriend
3) You describe the situation as 100% impossible.

And we wonder how the AFC evolved, because guys like you are doing crap like this. You've been a member here since 2005??? Have you learned nothing?

I'm pretty well speechless at this point.

Gubby · Apr 15, 2008

If you tihnk you might be a loser, you probably are.

S'all in the mind my man

DonGorgon · Apr 15, 2008

Typical desperate modern man...

mikeyb · Apr 15, 2008

If you don't care about getting anything back, then why are you asking us to judge how this gift will make you look in her eyes? I vote loser because you're either lying or deluding yourself.

If you'd just given her the gift without asking us, that would have been ok in my eyes. Oneitis is something we've all had at one time or another...if we'd all been born the way we are now this forum wouldn't exist.

Mavrick · Apr 15, 2008

krazyboy99 said:
didn't even read the post but i voted yes just because you're asking random people on the internet whether or not you're a loser

Ditto! If you don't already know, and you have to find out from others, then you're a loser.

ezily · Apr 15, 2008

gray_fox_9 said:
Its been said a million times on here...do NOT buy a woman gifts unless you are having sex/in a relationship with her....period.....

I agree.

MooseGod · Apr 15, 2008

These guys are morons. You are not a loser if you give her a gift because you feel like giving her a gift and expect nothing in return (well, a thank you, but that's all to expect.)

There is NOTHING wrong with being a thoughtful, considerate person. But you are not going to get anything out of this, so don't even think that.

IF you give her a gift because you are trying to get into her pants, THEN you are a loser. But even then, that's just one person's opinion. You're only a loser if YOU think you are a loser. Screw what anybody else thinks.

ready123 · Apr 15, 2008

I voted no just because everyone else voted yes haha

but I think you ARE trying to get in her pants though ("please God? let this work, just this once?")

wtf did you buy her anyway? big ass teddy bear?

ready123 · Apr 15, 2008

gray_fox_9 said:
Its been said a million times on here...do NOT buy a woman gifts unless you are having sex/in a relationship with her....period.....

if your ass is that needy for pvssy that you're unable to give a gift for the sake of giving a gift... then yeah, i guess you guys would need that rule

lordson · Apr 15, 2008

listen to the people here, you do no need to get her any gift

it would be an inidacation of your interest, and seeing as she has a boyfriend, as sees you as only a workmate, or possibly, that guy i work with, it wont lead to any good

get her number, get her email and stay in contact, and make a move it you want

but dont get hung up on her. go out and pro-actively meet women, not just talk to the women you work with

Nikar · Apr 16, 2008

LOL, MooseGod totally understands me.

actually, i'm just giving her the present cos' i think she's sweet and it's her farewell day, you know, nothing else. i don't even wanna **** her!

anyway, thanks for the votes.

i do have her e-mail but after she left the company, i don't wanna contact her anymore anyway, since it'll be creepy.

Mavrick · Apr 16, 2008

Why don't you just talk to her and ask her out? That would go a lot further than a nonsensical gift.

Or you could spare yourself the drama since she has a boyfriend. She's already got someone kissing her 4ss. Why should you be added to that number?

HandyAndy · Apr 16, 2008

Buy her a new car while your at it lol

Crazy Asian · Apr 16, 2008

Nikar said:
The gift is more like my silent dedication to her for being fond of her for 1+ year. After that, I'll make myself forget everything.

I think that you are buying her a present as a last attempt to get something from her.
Although this is "AFC" (I hate that term), If it will make you move on then do it.
You should just go up to her before she leaves and tell her that you've always liked her. It will give you some closure.

Also, stick around on this site, and improve yourself.
IMO, Nobody that is willing to improve is a loser.

MotownMack · Apr 16, 2008

LOL, MooseGod totally understands me.

actually, i'm just giving her the present cos' i think she's sweet and it's her farewell day, you know, nothing else. i don't even wanna **** her

Who are you trying to convince, us or yourself?

You wouldn't have started this thread if you didn't feel funny about it yourself and wonder about your own intentions.

And why would you give a gift to someone you barely talk to who is simply getting a new job/quitting?

I will believe you if you can honestly answer this question: If this was guy, would you be giving him a gift?

Hey, do want you want to do. The world has far worse problems than guys who want to randomly give gifts to women. But don't deceive yourself into thinking it's not AFC behavior, when the reality is that this is likely somehow, supposed to a substitute for the feelings you have for her and your inability to develop even a meaningful friendship with her.

And I am not trying to be rude or negative, but if you really don't know her that well, it's likely that she will think it's weird/awkward.

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