****. I just want to find a girl. Is that too much to ask? Fvcking hell. I want to find a nice looking sane girl that I can be with. I go out and am always to shy to daygame. I go out night gaming, talk **** to girls, sometimes get number closes etc, but NO DATES. It's driving me nuts. I need some female interaction. It has been about 6 months since I split with my girlfriend. I'm starting to think that i'll never meet anyone ever again! I'm starting to think that splitting with my girlwas the worst mistake of my life! I'm going nuts! What the hell should I do???

Hahahahaha!

As soon as you don't give a shi't, then you'll get what you want, or so I reliably hear from good sources Fu'cking paradoxes..........

Problem is, I'd like to go back to her, yes I would, she is a great person and good looking, but there were things that made me end it (she was quite needy, she wanted kids at some point and I decided that she was genetically not healthy enough). Basically I had a gut feeling that it needed to end. I also wanted to experience more women. BUT FVCK!!!!! I'M GETTING NOWHERE!!!! MY CONVERSATION STINKS!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGH.

Im going nuts, honestly.

Anybody else been in this situation?

What, going nuts? Yesss.... ^^

Is this an advice thread or d'ya just wanna share?

Seriously, your negativity ain't helpful to you. We've all been there, ok, but look on the flip side. At least you're not still with a girl with bad genes!

Contemplate the stars a bit mate, I feel for you but nothing's THAT important. Laugh! Life's funny! (have you ever seen the LOOK on a girl's face when she orgasms? XD)

The only way you'll ever be happy is if you're living a life you're happy with in the absence of a woman.
If your life stinks, relying on a woman to make it better is like shooting yourself in the foot for a headache...

I think you should read Pook's Kill that Desperation, man.

Get a grip, dude...

Interceptor said:

The only way you'll ever be happy is if you're living a life ou're happy with in the absence of a woman.
If your life stinks, relying on a woman to make it better is like shooting yourself in the foot for a headache...

Click to expand...

Women just don't want to be relied on. They want to rely on you. Meantime you should be following your heart and chasing your dreams.

Love strengthens you, but it's not a crutch. Just a matter of priority.

Hey, i've been in the exact same situation. It's a part of the journey. Here's what I always ask guys who are in it:

- How many girls have you point-blank asked out in the past 3 months?
- Was it more than 20?
- How many actually said point-blank no?

The thing is that usually when this stuff happens is that... We got a ton of statistical distortion in our heads. Like... Maybe we approached 2 rude girls, and we say "All women are rude ****s", forgetting the 4 other girls who were super-nice and flirty. For example.

It also ussually comes from non action and information overload.

Like, there are too many things you want to try and be good at, at once.

I recommend a simple method to get started with:

[from the other thread i posted to just today]

Walk up to girl -> Give Compliment -> ask a few boring everyday questions (Small talk like where do you study, what do you do) -> Ask her out

That's IT.

And here's a secret they won't have told you. If you do all this (and forget al techniques and everything you have learned), and just do everything else intuitively (i.e. normal), you will still get 50% as good results as if you knew all this pick up and don juan stuff.

If you got 5 girls with the above super-simple system, then maybe you'd have gotten 9-10 with the best techniques, complex systems out there.

Gotta start somewhere.

If you did this with 3 girls a day. And you just did it however, as you are, without any fancy schmancy techniques, and with the lamest body-language and whatever. Within 1 week you would have a date. I will promise you this.

Within several dates, you would have more with one of these girls.

The only way you'll ever be happy is if you're living a life you're happy with in the absence of a woman.
If your life stinks, relying on a woman to make it better is like shooting yourself in the foot for a headache...

I think you should read Pook's Kill that Desperation, man.

Get a grip, dude...

Click to expand...

Seconded. Kill that desperation!


Don't forget to read Pook's replies on that post, as they are almost more useful than the post itself.

Mr. Fantastic, what do you do? Are you a student? If so, then what is your major?

Do you have hobbies? You know spring is here and it's really nice out. Are you into any sports? What about outdoor activities? You know, rock climbing is a relatively easy sport once you get the hang (pun) of it. Oh, when was the last time you went go-karting? Or hit some homers at a batting cage? Have you ever rode around in a golf kart at 20 mph while attempting to play a full round of 18 holes?

Do you see what I'm doing here? I'm trying to stimulate any interests/hobbies that you may have. If you answered no to any of those, then what the hell are you waiting for? Go out there and explore. Go have fun.

Girls should be recreational for you. Just like playing basketball. If you don't get to play basketball for a long time, you don't kill yourself over it. You go do something else.

Develop your self first. The "game" will come naturally. Trust me.

I can't pick up girls that well, even though I'm not as bad anymore, and I really don't like clubs. Maybe try online personals like Yahoo or Match. Its good, and will get you "out" there, and give you some experience. It's not very glamorous, but it's worth a try...My 2 cents.

The hungry don't get feed.

On the opposite end of the spectrum:

That which you resist will persist.

Mavrick said:

The hungry don't get feed.

On the opposite end of the spectrum:

That which you resist will persist.

Click to expand...

Those who abuse quotes don't get fed

I don't like this "get rid of desire". Sexual desire turns women on. Get rid of DESPERATION. Realise that sex goes both ways and that you're not begging or stealing anything, you're taking what's yours to have and giving what you have to give in return.

Perhaps it would be better to say that you shouldn't latch onto a goal and forget to live meantime. You can enjoy a woman's beauty without sticking your penis in her. As Pook said,........ "ooh la la!". Enjoy every moment you spend with a woman and you'll be detatched from the outcome. Sex is a rather arbitrary borderline to draw on the sexual experience. You enjoy kissing, you enjoy touching. What does the actual act MEAN? Unless you're making babies, not so much. It's something to brag about, yea. But bragging ain't so great.

Gubby said:

Those who abuse quotes don't get fed

I don't like this "get rid of desire". Sexual desire turns women on. Get rid of DESPERATION. Realise that sex goes both ways and that you're not begging or stealing anything, you're taking what's yours to have and giving what you have to give in return.

Perhaps it would be better to say that you shouldn't latch onto a goal and forget to live meantime. You can enjoy a woman's beauty without sticking your penis in her. As Pook said,........ "ooh la la!". Enjoy every moment you spend with a woman and you'll be detatched from the outcome. Sex is a rather arbitrary borderline to draw on the sexual experience. You enjoy kissing, you enjoy touching. What does the actual act MEAN? Unless you're making babies, not so much. It's something to brag about, yea. But bragging ain't so great.

Click to expand...

Bullsh*t man. Sex is not an arbitrary borderline on the sexual experience, it's the fundamental essence of it; sex feels great and there is no question that a shared orgasm is one of the most intense and potent experiences a human being can endure. I'm going against the grain on this one because experience really has taught me otherwise, and honestly man, "Enjoy every moment you spend with a woman and you'll be detatched from the outcome" just innately sounds like bull.

A lot of what you said is good advice, but when people start tricking themselves with statements like "sex really isn't that amazing anyway" or "it's just a couple people making stupid faces and stupid sounds" it's more often than not because they are trying to pamper an emotional wound resulting from feelings of inadequacy. I promised myself long ago that I wouldn't ever lie to myself in order to feel better. Sex is a powerful force and act to behold and it deserves respect. We of all people in this community should recognize that.

Mr.Fantastic said:

****. I just want to find a girl. Is that too much to ask? Fvcking hell. I want to find a nice looking sane girl that I can be with. I go out and am always to shy to daygame. I go out night gaming, talk **** to girls, sometimes get number closes etc, but NO DATES. It's driving me nuts. I need some female interaction. It has been about 6 months since I split with my girlfriend. I'm starting to think that i'll never meet anyone ever again! I'm starting to think that splitting with my girlwas the worst mistake of my life! I'm going nuts! What the hell should I do???

Click to expand...

Again, like everyone said here, kill your desperation. You may feel like sh*t inside, but you have to try and get past it. Don't you have any friends who are connected to some sort of party scene? Find a relaxed social setting where you can interact with a bunch of people, including attractive females, and then reel one in. It's much easier when you have some sort of established social proof, especially when you are feeling down on your luck.

Gubby said:

Those who abuse quotes don't get fed

I don't like this "get rid of desire". Sexual desire turns women on. Get rid of DESPERATION. Realise that sex goes both ways and that you're not begging or stealing anything, you're taking what's yours to have and giving what you have to give in return.

Perhaps it would be better to say that you shouldn't latch onto a goal and forget to live meantime. You can enjoy a woman's beauty without sticking your penis in her. As Pook said,........ "ooh la la!". Enjoy every moment you spend with a woman and you'll be detatched from the outcome. Sex is a rather arbitrary borderline to draw on the sexual experience. You enjoy kissing, you enjoy touching. What does the actual act MEAN? Unless you're making babies, not so much. It's something to brag about, yea. But bragging ain't so great.

Click to expand...

Gubby, you are a funny character! You probably got women watching you like mothers watch Lifetime Television!

Lose that negative attitude! Do it now!

Lose that desperation!

You should get a hobby and make it look like you're doing something with your life!

Also, read my 21 points of advice on women thread. (Don Juan tips)

Hey guys, thanks for the advice. I definitely need to be happy being myself before I am with a woman. When I was with my girlfriend I was still a mess, so I guess I know that is not the problem. It's just a pit of the stomach feeling that wont go away. I think about my ex-girlfriend almost constantly now. It is worse since I know she is with somebody else. I don't know. But you guys are right, paint is part of life and is an indication that something is not right. I need to sort my life out. I have been depressed for too long, it has held me back, sucked my energy from me, kept me prisoner.

How do you guys battle these bouts of depression, when all you want to do is hug someone, feel some love from somewhere...its a lonely world. I know this all sounds afc and it is, but how do you guys battle these feelings?

Mr.Fantastic said:

How do you guys battle these bouts of depression, when all you want to do is hug someone, feel some love from somewhere...its a lonely world. I know this all sounds afc and it is, but how do you guys battle these feelings?

Click to expand...

Mr. Fantastic, have an (imaginary) hug! *hug*

These feelings aren't bad -- they're a shining reminder of the fact that you're still alive and human. I don't know what your individual reason is for being unfilfilled in this area, shyness I suppose, but you need to find out and tackle it. Don't tihnk, by the way, you'll necessarily be rejected by people if you just outright say "I WANNA HUG." There are coldhearted bastards out there, yes - but you can fall into a trap of saying "people are X". Lonely world? You could prove the opposite as well. The world's however you want to see it as; you've had a lonely past and maybe a lonely environment, that's all you can say. I think the only thing that can define a human being is that we're adaptable.

It could be worse.

Imagine you DO find a girl. She is GREAT, a good cook, fantastic in bed, paints, sculpts, owns her own company and makes great loot, and best of all, REALLY digs you and treats you like a king. Your friends are even more impressed than you are, saying "dude, usually I am like FVCK B!TCHES, but this one is a keeper, and its like she was MADE for you!"

She finds out you like to ski, and arranges a ski trip for the two of you.

Then her ex pops back up suddenly, and she goes back to him and they get engaged, all within a week.

Since she found you on facebook, you get to see all her little updates every day about her blissful reunion with her ex. How her "heart is now whole again" and she can "finally feel something meaningful". Not to mention all the old couple pics she has re-put up.

By the way, you found out she left you for her ex and that she is now engaged, (drumroll) through facebook. She never even said goodbye.

So there are worse things than "finding" a chick. You could find the PERFECT chick... and worse things could happen.

iqqi said:

It could be worse.

Imagine you DO find a girl. She is GREAT, a good cook, fantastic in bed, paints, sculpts, owns her own company and makes great loot, and best of all, REALLY digs you and treats you like a king. Your friends are even more impressed than you are, saying "dude, usually I am like FVCK B!TCHES, but this one is a keeper, and its like she was MADE for you!"

She finds out you like to ski, and arranges a ski trip for the two of you.

Then her ex pops back up suddenly, and she goes back to him and they get engaged, all within a week.

Since she found you on facebook, you get to see all her little updates every day about her blissful reunion with her ex. How her "heart is now whole again" and she can "finally feel something meaningful". Not to mention all the old couple pics she has re-put up.

By the way, you found out she left you for her ex and that she is now engaged, (drumroll) through facebook. She never even said goodbye.

So there are worse things than "finding" a chick. You could find the PERFECT chick... and worse things could happen.

Click to expand...

Sounds like a pretty detailed scenario, might this be a personal experience of yours?

Mr. Fantastic, I'm writing as someone who went through the same thing.

You have to start thinking now what it is that you want out of life. I'm still trying to figure this out. I've been brought up in life with no real objective, goal, or anything... All i was told was, here, go to school, try to get a degree and good luck. No one ever taught me how to study, how to do anything... i was just a stupid little kid who caused a lot of havoc for everyone.

As guys, we are logical thinkers and we play wayyy ahead. Well if that's the case, let me ask you, even if you DO get a woman, from where you are, are you able to make her happy?

Are you able to make a life that is comfortable for the two of you?

Are you capable of sharing any happiness to anybody?

Do you feel that she would be the answer? (if so, do you think winning the lottery would make you happy?)

Do you realize that when she comes into your life, you're also going to take on her problems as well as your own? Are you strong enough, given the way you are now to be able to give her that?

These are questions you have to ask yourself deeply. She ISN'T, I repeat, IS NOT, the answer to your happiness. SHE does not possess extraordinary powers to free you from your loneliness. You can't have someone flap your wings for you if you want to fly. you gotta do it yourself.