This is my story and i am here because i want her.
So get a coffee and relax, this is going to be testing to the best PUA out there, if you think you may be able to provide sound advice please respond, from one romantic to his brothers. I know i am making some errors and leaving things unfinished.
I am 33 reasonably wealthy, i have been separated for 3 years now, but not divorced. 2 years i meet someone who i had initially no romantic interest, she is 25 years typical poor student. We met at university where i am studying (something i didnt get a chance earlier in life). We started talking after i flirted with her slightly. We bagan to spend more time together and nearly all of it was within university times 3-4 times a week. She began to show attraction, such as touching comments on my looks, and i told her straight i was still married and had kids, but i will get divorced. At first she backed of and i wasnt to bothered.
But as time went by we began to talk more, sit together more, and then we started talking on the phone when we aere not at uni, i began to notice more and more attraction on her part and she even bought presents for my children one christmas, so i assumed she accepted my situation.
One day i invited her for coffee after class as we normally do, but she refused, and i didnt talk to her for a week. When i came to class she almost burst in tears, she wanted to hit, because i didnt talk to her, and she was going crazy. I felt she was falling for me.
We spent more time together, more touching and tried on several occasions to kiss her, which were awful on my part, despite the IOI's.
other comments, one night she asked me out 'i asked her if she wanted to meet someone' she got angry 'i wouldnt ask you if i wanted to meet someone i want to go with you'.
About one day 10 months ago, she didnt respond to my calls and i got panicky, after a few restless days i realised i was in love with her.
We eventually we talked and she laughed saying she does that even to her mother sometimes, she was doing uni assignments, i offered to help her. I told her for the first time how beautiful she was to me and i worried so much for her.
I sent her flowers a few weeks after that, which excited her so much she kept calling me all day. I asked her how she felt about me; she said she didnt want to be a mistress.
a few weeks after that i asked on a date, at the last moment she cancelled, i didnt call her for ten days, she called me on the 11th, said she was scared to call and apologised, when i asked her if i should delete her number she got angry and begged me not to. Again after some time i asked her out again to a concert, the night before she cancelled, wanted to go somewhere with her sister instead.
then all last summer we played cat and mouse games, i avoid her she comes to me, then blows me off, one day i decided to reverse the tables, i blew her off, she chased me for a while, i sent her a deep and perceptive email on what i thought of her and her situation in life, she cried like a baby on the phone after reading it. She calmed a little and for a while turned up to dates.
One day i failed a financial exam which cost me around $1000. she phoned me to find out, i was feeling ****ty, she tried to make me feel better, and in the conversation she said 'i love you' pause' your family love you your friends love you..' that pause was one of those that people use to cover their slip of the tongue.
2 weeks later i passed the same exam, she called again and we spoke for 4 hours on the phone, i teased her, she teased me.. next day i surprised her and went to her home for the first time. At first she ws nice, why didnt you tell me you were coming i would have cooked for you, then things got nasty, she tried to get rid of me, comments like what if i had a man around, we spent an hour walking and talking, she would let me eat at a local place.
Anyway i lost my cool and she left i went home, angry at my self and her. i dint talk to her or see her for 2 months, i changed numbers after trying to contact her a few times.
Since then it has been cat and mouse again we come together, we then end like that. We did go on a date and meet in or around uni. The IOI's are there, playing with her hair, flushed face, dilated eyes, puffed up chest, in our conversations, my loves and my darlings are often.
I bought up the matter last week, i dont want to be friends, i want more, and we had a talk, things we did to hurt each other. she said, your married, i dont want to be a lover or mistress. She had tears in her eyes, we laughed at times and she told me when and how i hurt her feelings and she really hated it when i came to her home. But all the time she gave indicators of interest, flushed face, dilated eyes, smiles, giggles, puffed up chest, tilted head, mirroring, and i was testing her mirroring. I said either we were more then friends or we delete each others numbers and forget each other. i deleted hers with her present.
Any couple, texted her to say i was sorry for hurting i her and she should have told me earlier. she mentioned she had not deleted my number and if we were friends, i didnt reply to that. the next we bumped into each other and we spent about 5 hours hanging out studying and then talking, and i made it clear to her that i wasnt going to get divorced until i was ready to do it, just like it wasnt easy for her parents its not easy for me. And i also told her gently that i hadnt decide if we should remain friends. We laughed alot and talked about stuff and life, and at the end of the evening i felt i knew her better then before, i concentrated on comfort building and making her laugh more, something i did alot early on in our frienship, that was missing since then. We ended the evening pleasantly.
I need to know how to escalate and build on it. Whats actually going on and how to deal with it so she is mine. I am tired of 1 step forward 2 back.
I can tell you her father hurt her emotionally, broken promises, deprived childhood, both emotionally and materially, poor family. father arguing drinking, wife beating maybe but mostly she spoke about her fathers broken promises, and she cried.
So get a coffee and relax, this is going to be testing to the best PUA out there, if you think you may be able to provide sound advice please respond, from one romantic to his brothers. I know i am making some errors and leaving things unfinished.
I am 33 reasonably wealthy, i have been separated for 3 years now, but not divorced. 2 years i meet someone who i had initially no romantic interest, she is 25 years typical poor student. We met at university where i am studying (something i didnt get a chance earlier in life). We started talking after i flirted with her slightly. We bagan to spend more time together and nearly all of it was within university times 3-4 times a week. She began to show attraction, such as touching comments on my looks, and i told her straight i was still married and had kids, but i will get divorced. At first she backed of and i wasnt to bothered.
But as time went by we began to talk more, sit together more, and then we started talking on the phone when we aere not at uni, i began to notice more and more attraction on her part and she even bought presents for my children one christmas, so i assumed she accepted my situation.
One day i invited her for coffee after class as we normally do, but she refused, and i didnt talk to her for a week. When i came to class she almost burst in tears, she wanted to hit, because i didnt talk to her, and she was going crazy. I felt she was falling for me.
We spent more time together, more touching and tried on several occasions to kiss her, which were awful on my part, despite the IOI's.
other comments, one night she asked me out 'i asked her if she wanted to meet someone' she got angry 'i wouldnt ask you if i wanted to meet someone i want to go with you'.
About one day 10 months ago, she didnt respond to my calls and i got panicky, after a few restless days i realised i was in love with her.
We eventually we talked and she laughed saying she does that even to her mother sometimes, she was doing uni assignments, i offered to help her. I told her for the first time how beautiful she was to me and i worried so much for her.
I sent her flowers a few weeks after that, which excited her so much she kept calling me all day. I asked her how she felt about me; she said she didnt want to be a mistress.
a few weeks after that i asked on a date, at the last moment she cancelled, i didnt call her for ten days, she called me on the 11th, said she was scared to call and apologised, when i asked her if i should delete her number she got angry and begged me not to. Again after some time i asked her out again to a concert, the night before she cancelled, wanted to go somewhere with her sister instead.
then all last summer we played cat and mouse games, i avoid her she comes to me, then blows me off, one day i decided to reverse the tables, i blew her off, she chased me for a while, i sent her a deep and perceptive email on what i thought of her and her situation in life, she cried like a baby on the phone after reading it. She calmed a little and for a while turned up to dates.
One day i failed a financial exam which cost me around $1000. she phoned me to find out, i was feeling ****ty, she tried to make me feel better, and in the conversation she said 'i love you' pause' your family love you your friends love you..' that pause was one of those that people use to cover their slip of the tongue.
2 weeks later i passed the same exam, she called again and we spoke for 4 hours on the phone, i teased her, she teased me.. next day i surprised her and went to her home for the first time. At first she ws nice, why didnt you tell me you were coming i would have cooked for you, then things got nasty, she tried to get rid of me, comments like what if i had a man around, we spent an hour walking and talking, she would let me eat at a local place.
Anyway i lost my cool and she left i went home, angry at my self and her. i dint talk to her or see her for 2 months, i changed numbers after trying to contact her a few times.
Since then it has been cat and mouse again we come together, we then end like that. We did go on a date and meet in or around uni. The IOI's are there, playing with her hair, flushed face, dilated eyes, puffed up chest, in our conversations, my loves and my darlings are often.
I bought up the matter last week, i dont want to be friends, i want more, and we had a talk, things we did to hurt each other. she said, your married, i dont want to be a lover or mistress. She had tears in her eyes, we laughed at times and she told me when and how i hurt her feelings and she really hated it when i came to her home. But all the time she gave indicators of interest, flushed face, dilated eyes, smiles, giggles, puffed up chest, tilted head, mirroring, and i was testing her mirroring. I said either we were more then friends or we delete each others numbers and forget each other. i deleted hers with her present.
Any couple, texted her to say i was sorry for hurting i her and she should have told me earlier. she mentioned she had not deleted my number and if we were friends, i didnt reply to that. the next we bumped into each other and we spent about 5 hours hanging out studying and then talking, and i made it clear to her that i wasnt going to get divorced until i was ready to do it, just like it wasnt easy for her parents its not easy for me. And i also told her gently that i hadnt decide if we should remain friends. We laughed alot and talked about stuff and life, and at the end of the evening i felt i knew her better then before, i concentrated on comfort building and making her laugh more, something i did alot early on in our frienship, that was missing since then. We ended the evening pleasantly.
I need to know how to escalate and build on it. Whats actually going on and how to deal with it so she is mine. I am tired of 1 step forward 2 back.
I can tell you her father hurt her emotionally, broken promises, deprived childhood, both emotionally and materially, poor family. father arguing drinking, wife beating maybe but mostly she spoke about her fathers broken promises, and she cried.
