How silly I was to become an AFC once again. I can't believe that after so many years of learning this stuff, I can go back to being an AFC. Today, I just want to vent and to have some support from you guys...

Here's my story and the story goes like this. Two weeks ago, I broke up with a girl that I went out with for a year. I found that she was with someone else. Within two days, she was already missing the other guy. Being a chump that I was, I thought she was just going through the emotional roller coaster that so many of my "nice guys" friends told me about. So, I went back to comfort her and to tell her my feelings. Yesterday, I drove to her house and talk to her about her feelings and hoped that she can talk it through and to be able to get back together. That was a very bad move already.

To add insult to injury, I spoke to her again today. I spoke to her about what she wants and she told me she is confused and want to get together with the other guy. I don't know why we guys do this. We get our self esteem beaten up and we continue to go back for more. It's like a drug. I don't know what to say. I went on to tell her that she doesn't really love the other guy that what she wants right now is not real. The other guy is still living with his girlfriend and that he told her that he needs a little time. She told the guy that she's willing to wait for him. Yet, I still couldn't see this... that I'm being an AFC. OMG.... I went on to tell her that I know she still loves me and that I still love her and that we can work it out. And what if we're right? What if things do work out. jesus... what have I done?

In the end, it ended the way that I didn't want it to end and i get my self esteem beaten up. I don't know what to say... All that work that I did the last year meant **** to her. Trying to convince a girl about how she feels for you is stupid and is self defeating.

I lost this battle. The game is over.

I don't need anything now friends from Suave.... I just need your comfort right now. I will need to rebuild my self esteem once again. It's tough man...

I have already told her that once this switch is turned off... I will not go back no matter what. From this day forward, even if I don't get married again, i will not get back together with her.

I hope you guys can give me strength...

thank you

Hey dannyegg4575....

I REALLY FEEL FOR YOU....i've been there myself. You'll get past it, but you have to understand how and why you fell into this self-defeating trap with this chick....

1. This girl was juggling the both of you ( you and this other guy, who by the way was juggling your ex and another live in girlfriend )

2. This girl had options, that dude had options....WHERE ARE YOURS??????? (VERY IMPORTANT)

3. Why give all your emotions to someone who can't reciprocate?? (you have to guard your heart and make them earn it first)

dannyegg4575 said:

I lost this battle. The game is over.

II hope you guys can give me strength...

thank you

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You may have lost the battle but you can still win the war. Learn from this experience and become a better person because of it. Good luck.

dannyegg4575 said:

Trying to convince a girl about how she feels for you is stupid and is self defeating.

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No, trying to change the way a girl feels about you is stupid and is self defeating. No matter how much you care for, or love a girl you can't change the way she feels about you. So if she doesn't feel the same, it sucks, but there s nothing you can do. This is one lesson you have to learn the hard way.

What you went through sucks, but i hope you ll have the strength to cut all contact with this dirty slut you used to call your girlfriend and move on to better and bigger things

I FEEL YOUR PAIN... CAUSE YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING ALL HUMANS GO THROUGH CAUSE AQLL UMANS CHEAT ADN GET CHEATED ON ADN GET DUMPED ETC... So the sad reality is that love cannot exist in a world where you have to protect your emotions and ergo by having multiple partners so that if one leaves you you have several backups... BUT that is the only way to live this life and win the game...

All my interactions with women are based on getting what i want, I only do enough to get what I want for as long as I can... I dont trust and I dont love, YES its cold but that is the nature of the beast that is human existence.

I was with a girl for 8 years,... in the end right when I started to fall in love with her she dumped my for some guy... and claimed that she had been detatching herself from me for months (cheating) unbeknownsed to me...LOL... well unbeknownsed to her i had many secrets of my own about which she will never know...

You want some comfort?

I'll tell you a little bit about my story (and how it's still evolving)

I dated one of the hottest chicks at my college for over a year. Before that I had been greatly successful at scooping up women around town and such.. I thought I was ready to handle a relationship. Well, I did handle the relationship very well for the first 6 months. I had my girl beg me day in and day out to be "more serious". I had my girl waiting on me hand and foot, she loved me to death, and I rocked her world in bed.

As things got closer to the one year mark, I started getting lax. I could feel that our relationship was getting boring, but I just didn't care. I got into a routine. We've all done this at one time or another, so don't feel bad. Anyways, instead of ending or improving on the relationship, I let it drag on.

You know how the story goes from here. Long story short, I catch her sleeping with another guy. Worst of all, she tells me that she wants a break to think things over. Before she could get another word out I told her that it's time for me to move onto better things.

It's been over 3 months since then and I can't tell you how much things have improved. I've found that this girl sucked the man force out of me. Not only have I been improving on myself massively the past months, but I have been laying chicks like it's my job (even 2 of the ex's friends!).

As you have it, I've had the ex clawing back at my door. I ended up slamming one of her good friends from her sorority last week, which sent her into a rage. She's been trying to get with a bunch of guys in my fraternity to no avail (that's what happens when you have GOOD friends).

The moral of the story is that while it's a great satisfaction to see the ex that cheated on you in the dumps, your greatest satisfaction should be yourself. If you can't move on with your live without a woman then you cannot be your own man. I no longer care about putting my ex through hell. I could actually care less.. it's all about me now. Don't fall into the trap of trying to get back at your ex- instead, feel the pain and improve yourself. It's going to be a tough road, but if I can do it, so can you.

please help me guys... my self esteem took a hard hit. self confidence took a beating.

holy crap man.. I just broke up with me ex (uh again) and it seemed over and I was all pressuring her to get back together through saying how much I loved her.. that really put her off and so I stopped. I've been cheerful and flirty around her and it now feels like we didn't break up. I just started C+F ing again and being positive ( negativity is bad-- you must try your hardest to be positive).. not only does it look like we will get back together.. but if we don't well, I am not moping around anymore and am actually having a pretty good time.

Dude be positive. Think positive and you will be back to normal REAL FAST.
The key is for you to realize that you will recover and to take this as a lesson.

3countriesPlan said:

holy crap man.. I just broke up with me ex (uh again) and it seemed over and I was all pressuring her to get back together through saying how much I loved her.. that really put her off and so I stopped. I've been cheerful and flirty around her and it now feels like we didn't break up. I just started C+F ing again and being positive ( negativity is bad-- you must try your hardest to be positive).. not only does it look like we will get back together.. but if we don't well, I am not moping around anymore and am actually having a pretty good time.

Dude be positive. Think positive and you will be back to normal REAL FAST.
The key is for you to realize that you will recover and to take this as a lesson.

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Sounds to me more like a vicious cycle than recovering.

good point. I am not saying I'm recovered, I'm just saying a positive outlook helps alot and should be the foundation of your mindset. He is hurting so it would be best for him to be positive.. which will help him enjoy other activities more.. then he can recover faster.

How do you show that you are truly happy moving on? I thought of writing a blog that I normally write and show my happiness inside. Cause this is where she normally goes to read it. Or is it too soon? I want my revenge man... what do you guys think? should i even delete her? would it be real insecurity when I do that? or should i just keep her there and show her that I'm not insecure?

dannyegg4575 said:

How do you show that you are truly happy moving on? I thought of writing a blog that I normally write and show my happiness inside. Cause this is where she normally goes to read it. Or is it too soon? I want my revenge man... what do you guys think? should i even delete her? would it be real insecurity when I do that? or should i just keep her there and show her that I'm not insecure?

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Just delete her man who cares what she thinks. It's a wrap, she showed her true colors to you. Be grateful you didn't waste yrs, got married and had kids by the woman and then have the same **** happen anyway. But with a more devestating affect (all you have is a bruised ego). It's hard man, been there done that so I know. But you have to deal with it yourself, and take it as a lesson to monitor who you let in your life more carefully.

The people should want to help better you, other wise they're just a cancer waiting to take shape. Basically you have no real choice but to let time heal your wounds, and let it make you stronger.