The Breakup Reversal

I was talking to the 22 yr old I know the other day, and she told me that her engagement was off.

This came as no surprise to me for many reasons, but what is interesting is that she told me that her ex fiancee is coming to visit in a few weeks.

I guess this was a trip that was planned awhile ago when they were still together, and she is still planning on coming up to my city a couple hours away to meet up with him for a few days.

I guess this guy is stringing her along, telling her he doesn't know if he made a "mistake" by breaking up with her. She knows this, and I honestly don't see a huge emotional investment on her part, so I asked her why she would still want to meet up with him.

She tells me that she knows he is trying to string her along, and her plan is to show him a great time, show him what he will be missing and then when he is getting ready to leave and HE is ready to decide the fate of their relationship, then she plans to dump HIM by telling him "this isn't gonna work out after all. Bye bye". After she tells me this I asked her why she would do something like that and she tells me, and I quote, "BECAUSE I NEED THIS!"

Now a part of me says "Yea right....she just wants to get back with him and this is her way to work back in". But then I think about how she doesn't seem to care all that much, and I realize that this is a CLASSIC female tactic.

When a woman gets dumped it's probably the worst thing that can happen to her emotionally. Probably worse in some ways than losing a best friend. So what do women do to help themselves cope? They WORK THEIR WAY BACK IN, just to put YOU in the guillotine so she can watch your head roll on the ground when she turns the tables and breaks up with YOU.

This is why it is SOOOO important to make a clean break. Sometimes when you are still talking to or hanging out with, or having sex with an ex, all she is doing is using you as a support while she looks for the next guy to sink her claws into. And when she does, she will think NOTHING of pulling the carpet right out from underneath you and kicking you when you are down. Now SHE is the one who gets to feel like she dumped YOU.

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Using Sex to Manipulate

The second part to this I'm looking for some feedback on.

The girl I mentioned above.....I have history with her. We hooked up a few times awhile back. She moved out of state but I have seen her a couple of times in person since then, both times she was in a relationship with someone else.

I made the mistake of keeping things platonic both times.

I say "mistake" because now it seems that she feels like she might be trying to use sex to manipulate her way into a relationship, and if I would have hit it when i saw her in the past, I think things might be different.

I won't go into the reasons why I didn't try to fukk her on those two occasions, but now when I talk about sex or our past history with her I get this "I'm not interested in casual hookups anymore" kind of thing from her.

I can tell she's still interested in me and I know in a physical sense she wants to fukk just as much as I do, but it seems like she might be trying to backtrack (at least with words....it will probably be a different story when I get her one on one) to put the ball in her court by taking the "I'm no longer interested in just hooking up" stance.

When I first met this chick she was 20. Had her naked in my jacuzzi the second time we met. I even went to visit her and got a hotel room for the night a few months later. She was VERY into sex back then.

I have a feeling that she was young and dumb back then, and didn't realize she should be doing what the rest of the girls do and leverage the "pu$$y power" to get what SHE wants out of a relationship. Now maybe she thinks that the only way to weasel her way into a relationship is to withhold the pu$$y to get what she wants.

This isn't that big of a deal to me....I can take it or leave it but she's looking good lately and I wouldn't mind hitting it again. I'm just not going to sit back and let some chick dangle a carrot in front of my nose, especially, ESPECIALLY since we have fukked like bunny rabbits in the past.

Thoughts?

Yeah get her alone and see if her words have real meaning behind them or if they are just a pile of bullsh!t.

If you two get your fvck on then biology trumped her stupid manipulations and she wanted it bad ie her words mean nothing once she gets horny.

If she denies you service then you friendzone her or next her whichever you prefer ie she meant her words and is intent on manipulating some man into a relationship before she'll give it up again.

Alternatively you could give her the relationship in exchange for the intimacy you told us you had been yearning a while ago and in this way you both get what you want for a while.

Then when and if you bore of her company you can begin to find some way to pull away and break off the relationship.

Hopefully peacefully and without incident to cause you the least amount of grief possible but yeah making that kind of transition could be difficult if she really gets head over heels for you.

So she wants to get together with him for the sole reason she can slam his nuts in the door? Damn that sounds familiar.

KontrollerX said:

If she denies you service then you friendzone her or next her whichever you prefer ie she meant her words and is intent on manipulating some man into a relationship before she'll give it up again.

Alternatively you could give her the relationship in exchange for the intimacy you told us you had been yearning a while ago and in this way you both get what you want for a while.

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This one's kinda tricky.

She really is a great girl. I know women go into these lukewarm kinds of situations all the time and in the back of their mind they KNOW it won't last, but I really don't want to hurt her.

That sounds pu$$y...I know, but if I d!ck her over I also have to deal with some of her friends who I hang out with as well.

She's trying to get into school close to me, so who knows how this will play out.

I know what some of you are gonna say. "She isn't worthy of respect if she's gonna try to use the pu$$y power", but I honestly believe she's pretty much typical. It's the same mating dance that has played out for thousands of years. People using people. I suppose I'm no better or worse than anyone else.

The whole idea of some chick I used to fukk pulling a 180 just doesn't sit well with me though. Maybe it's all a bunch of BS. I guess I will know next time I get her alone....

Hopefully peacefully and without incident to cause you the least amount of grief possible but yeah making that kind of transition could be difficult if she really gets head over heels for you.

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That's the problem. She is/was head over heals for me. I don't know how much that still applies, but I know she sees more in me than I do in her.

STR8UP, I do completely believe in the first part of your post. Nobody wants to be on the recieving end of being broken up with. Women because of their Fickle nature take this way farther than a man would do. Granted my exgf had issues(what woman doesn't), she tried getting back into my world for 4 MONTHS. That's over the top, and I KNEW BETTER than to let her back in. I had to go as far as calling the sheriff, and filing a cease and desist order.

The bottom line is that she would have probably come back just to get in long enough to make me believe in her (acting), and then left on her terms. Hoping that I would be another AFC emotional tampon like so many other men in her life had been. In my case thats what threw her off. I didn't play according to her playbook. I PULLED THE EJECT HANDLE on HER. That kind of blow is one that SOME women will go to unbelievable extremes to REWRITE.
Nothing new here really, just affirming what you said and adding my recent events that corroborate it.
KC

Str8up, the foundation of your post is in your quote,

While you're out marketing yourself to the world, she's out there marketing herself to potential providers.

While you're trying to build a kingdom, she's looking for a king

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.

This is the purpose of MOST attractive women. When a woman is rejected, you are hitting her LIVELIHOOD. After all, this is what she was born to do, ATTRACT.

Let's look at a man's livelihood. To provision and provide. How would we react if that was taken away? Similiar to a woman being rejected. Very difficult to deal with threats to our LIVELIHOOD.

How would you react if someone came into your place of business and closed you down?

This is also why you see bitter single women in their 30's-50's. As they begin to lose some ATTRACTIVENESS, they lose their PRIMARY weapon. How many HOT bitter women do you meet in their 20's?

As men age, we increase our attractiveness by means of providing. Mix this is in with maturity, and we are PRIME in our fourties and fifties.

A woman has a much shorter shelf life. This is why she must also ACT fast.

^^^Good post guru^^^

Very true. Another thing is that a woman ATTACHES herself and her value to the man in her life. When she loses the man, she perceives her value to be GONE.

I have been through BOTH of those scenarios.....

guru1000 said:

This is the purpose of MOST attractive women. When a woman is rejected, you are hitting her LIVELIHOOD. After all, this is what she was born to do, ATTRACT.

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I like this. It's exactly why they take such pains to prevent it. This also explains why I've experienced some women who become pissed off if I don't reciprocate their flirtations.

She wants to know she can get him. Totally natural. I have no sympathies for the guy as even you think he's just stringing her along.

As for your situtuion, I'm not sure as there are alot of details missing however I suspect maybe that you know she's on the rebound and you a) don't want to hurt her as you don't really fancy her (you would have ****ed her otherwise) or b) you really do fancy her but you want her as more (and therefore where a bit AFC and didn't **** her) and you realise she's on the rebound and doesn't feel the same about you.

LOL. Women will do anything they can to get the power back in their court.