I was talking the other day with the college chick I hooked up with awhile back.

She's moving back to my state this weekend, and she is trying to get into school right here in my city.

I have a feeling that a big part of her wanting to move to my city is because of ME. Her best friend lives here as well, but most of her friends and her family live about 2.5 hrs away.

I was chatting with her on IM, and true to form, if I bring up ANYTHING that can be construed as "relationship" talk, she jumps all over it and tries to get me to "open up" about my feelings toward her.

Now this is the chick who I hooked up with a couple of years ago when she was 20 years old. She is now "engaged" to a guy who lives overseas who she met last year. She is the one who stayed with me for a few days back in September. When she finished school in December she went overseas to spend the holidays with her fiancee. Talking to her a few weeks into her trip and she alluded to the fact that she might be single again soon....

So.....this chick is basically "in love" with me, and the door is open. I don't even have to knock. All I have to do is walk in.

I doubt if we could ever have a serious relationship, but she's smart a a whip, has a great sense of humor, and I love hanging out with her, so I wouldn't rule out the possibility of dating her. She's a total giver. She's a latina (bonus points) and has just lost her baby fat in the past year so she looks damn good.

So here I have an opportunity to "look out for myself". This chick is REALLY into me. I'm the guy she would drop everything for, including her fiancee. I have an opportunity here to step out of character and play the game like a woman would.

How would a woman work this situation? Well, if she was indeed attracted to the guy on a basic level, chances are she would go into competition mode and throw herself in the middle, even if she didn't see a future with the guy. If she were single, she was attracted to the guy, and the guy made it perfectly clear that he wants her, she wouldn't hesitate to take what she wants (attention from the guy, validation in the fact that the guy would hook up with her over his fiancee) without regard to the feelings of any of the parties involved.

Attraction is a POWERFUL thing. Of course a woman's reaction to a situation like this depends upon many factors, but I think it's safe to assume that lots of women when put in this position would have no reservations about trying to hook up with the guy.

If I had my choice things wouldn't be like this. I wouldn't even be pondering the possibility of getting with this girl. But I have been railroaded enough times by other people who obviously have no regard for me, I almost feel like it's owed to me.

When she stayed with me a few months ago, she slept right next to me in panties and a silk nightie that barely covered her ass. No doubt I could have hit it right then and there, but I hesitated, even though she WANTED me to tear her clothes off and fukk the hell out of her. And guess what? I kinda regretted it later. I don't think I'm prepared to let that happen again.

When we spoke the other day she mentioned that we should go to the Bahamas for a few days together. If that isn't an invitation, I don't know what is.

I know I'm gonna get blasted for even posting this, but I don't care. The world isn't fair. I'm tired of playing by the rules. It's time to start taking back cause I've been giving for way too long.

Her having the other guy is a good excuse for your relationship with her to be sex-only and non-exclusive.

Bible_Belt said:

Her having the other guy is a good excuse for your relationship with her to be sex-only and non-exclusive.

Click to expand...

This is the only really bad part. This girl wants me. BAD. I have a feeling that she would drop the fiancee like a hot potato if I got involved with her. I mean, honestly, I know I would be doing her a favor, but she might not see it that way in the long run.

Its time to quit overanalyzing situations like this. Your too old for this crap. Play the game like a man and not a woman. Fvck her brains out and tell us about it. We can't help you only you can help yourself.

I have a funny feeling with your post history that you will tell us how you could have fvcked her but chose not too.

STR8UP said:

I have a feeling that she would drop the fiancee like a hot potato if I got involved with her.

Click to expand...

So? Then let her. What she does is her business. You have the chance to set it up as non-exclusive from the start. But her choice later to be exclusive to you has nothing to do with your choice to be exclusive to her.

lookyoung said:

Its time to quit overanalyzing situations like this. Your too old for this crap. Play the game like a man and not a woman. Fvck her brains out and tell us about it. We can't help you only you can help yourself.

I have a funny feeling with your post history that you will tell us how you could have fvcked her but chose not too.

Click to expand...

What he said.....

STR8UP said:

When she stayed with me a few months ago, she slept right next to me in panties and a silk nightie that barely covered her ass. No doubt I could have hit it right then and there, but I hesitated, even though she WANTED me to tear her clothes off and fukk the hell out of her. And guess what? I kinda regretted it later. I don't think I'm prepared to let that happen again

Click to expand...

you should have been a man in that situation and fvcked her brains out instead of telling us how you could have. This is the tenth thread about you could have fvcked a girl but did not for some strange reason. Next time you have a girl naked next to you in your bed do what a man would do. FUKK HER BRAINS OUT.

lookyoung said:

you should have been a man in that situation and fvcked her brains out instead of telling us how you could have. This is the tenth thread about you could have fvcked a girl but did not for some strange reason. Next time you have a girl naked next to you in your bed do what a man would do. FUKK HER BRAINS OUT.

Click to expand...

They're right, STR8UP, it took the Universe a few billion years to form that star dust into a scenario custom built for your pleasure; it's your fate. Jump.

Some of you don't seem to understand.

THIS ISN'T ME.

This completely goes against my nature. This creates an internal conflict that I have to resolve.

When this chick was here I was on the fence about doing anything, although I know I could have sealed the deal. But when she started talking about her fiancee I backed off. Although she also spoke of "us", she seemed happy, and I didn't want to throw a wrench in things.

In retrospect she never would have put herself in that position had she not WANTED me to take her. I mean, you don't sit on some dudes couch in your panties (especially if you've had sex with him before) without expecting the guy to do something.

But you know what? I look at this and think, "I am an adult, I should know better". Then I realize that I have no reason to extend anyone else any courtesy, because I will never get the same in return.

"All is fair in love and war".

That is a true statement. Love IS war. You are fighting and competing to secure the best vehicle to send your genes into the next generation, and it doesn't mater if your intention isn't to have babies....the rules are still the same.

I was exactly where you are now about 5 years ago with my ex.

Our history is really twisted.. we were best friends, then started dating and then we moved in together. It all fell apart when she ended up cheating on me for months..we didnt speak to each other for 7 years after that.

Eventually she came back around and asked for forgiveness, and after a couple of years of back and forth she decided to be impulsive and visit me here for 2 weeks.

Around this time she was having a lot of trouble with her boyfriend and was trying to jump my bones the first day. I held out for a full week, because I swore to myself I would never be that "other dude", it was a serious internal struggle with my core principles!

But she didnt leave me any choice.. we actually got into several big fights about why I would not f*ck her! She kind of raped me one night (long story) After that we had a week-long session of the filthiest, most depraved sex I'd ever had. I wont lie.. it was awesome!

And just like that *poof* she was gone. We had closed the chapter in the most amicable way possible and she went on to patch things up with her man. She ended up telling him about our last hurrah, and he forgave her. Apparently she needed that kind of closure because I see them now and they seem very happy together.

Of course your situation is a little different, but I say that you're doing both of you guys a favor by hitting that. She will be spared from making a terrible mistake, and you will be spared from a bad case of blue balls.

Just be careful, use a hefty rubber and don't get attached!

What's the deal? She has a boyfriend and got in bed with you. She's already wronged the boyfriend and if he's a nice dude she doesn't deserve him. I'm a bit unclear. Did she have the boyfriend when that happened?

You have no obligation to the dude either. If she doesn't realllly want to be with him and will just jump on you and dump him "like a hot potato," you're doing him a favor and saving him from a terrible marriage. Do you think he'd rather get tossed aside before or after marriage?

mrRuckus said:

What's the deal? She has a boyfriend and got in bed with you. She's already wronged the boyfriend and if he's a nice dude she doesn't deserve him. I'm a bit unclear. Did she have the boyfriend when that happened?

You have no obligation to the dude either. If she doesn't realllly want to be with him and will just jump on you and dump him "like a hot potato," you're doing him a favor and saving him from a terrible marriage. Do you think he'd rather get tossed aside before or after marriage?

Click to expand...

Good point. My good friend always said he'd never get mad at a guy if he caught him with his girl. He'd shake his hand for showing him what a piece of trash she is.


.

A guy in another country she sees once a year, and whom she is making not the slightest steps towards moving in with, hardly qualifies as her 'fiance'.

This is just some LDR pen pal, and this is just one of those girls who can never describe herself as si-si-single in front of her friends. Don't worry about that stuff. There's not moral dilemma here, just do what you want.

She's like a High School kid worried about cheating on his "girlfriend in Canada"

STR8UP said:

But you know what? I look at this and think, "I am an adult, I should know better". Then I realize that I have no reason to extend anyone else any courtesy, because I will never get the same in return.

"All is fair in love and war".

That is a true statement. Love IS war. You are fighting and competing to secure the best vehicle to send your genes into the next generation, and it doesn't mater if your intention isn't to have babies....the rules are still the same.

Click to expand...

if this were a star wars movie you'd be darth vaders apprentice now

but i'll tell you this, becoming less courteous won't make it easier for you to live in an uncourteous world.

'do unto others as you'd have them do unto you' - i live by this rule myself and i find it serves me very well.

plus, id never find myself so in need of a woman so as to sleep with another mans woman.

The scary part about your post is that you sound like your actually interested in having a LTR with this women. You go on and on about how she loves you etc.... you want a relationship with this women.

Your using the fact that she has a fiance to not hit it when deep down, you know you want more.

Throw caution to the wind and go for it man. It might just be what you need in your life right now.

Yeah this is one of those things I don't think I could do. Only because I wouldn't want it happening to me. That doesn't mean it wouldn't happen to me. I was watching all these videos from Tony Soporno (sp) and he was getting into how this actually helps the relationship between the other two, that he recharges the girl and the guy will end up thanking him for it.

But, like STR8UP says, the women have choice here. They'll screw the guy with the good genes and have the guy with the weak genes raise the baby.

Maybe I'm turning to the dark side. :nervous:

MacAvoy said:

The scary part about your post is that you sound like your actually interested in having a LTR with this women. You go on and on about how she loves you etc.... you want a relationship with this women.

Click to expand...

No, no, not at all.

It does feed my ego....I won't lie about that. A good looking 22 yr old college chick....I'm 36....I mean, it DOES feel good to know I still "got it".

I enjoy hanging out with her, so I wouldn't mind hooking up but no relationship....I know better.

That's what really gets the better of my conscience with this, because I know my interest level doesn't match hers. I am setting her up for a fall no matter how I play it, if I give her any kind of hope. This is my only real hesitation.

str8up, if you could just find a woman that you could settle in to a routine normal relationship with you wouldn't be wasting your time worrying about whether you should bang some 22 year old who is engaged to be married.

for all the tough talk i hear on here of 'hey, if she'll give it up you're actually doing the guy a favor by screwing her' - i think its all bs. its the actions of men who have nothing else on the go.

whether its right or wrong or inbetween is another discussion.

but think about the woman who sleeps with a married man that she knows is married. what do you think of her?

i know i think 'how sad and pitiful that she can't find her own man.'

yes, he's to blame for the cheating. she, technically, can't be blamed. but it doesn't make it any less sad and pathetic.

Oh come on you two. It's some free pvssy. wtf is the big deal? Fvck her and don't fall in love with her. The only woman who loves you is your momma, remember str8up? Don't forget your own advice; it's too good.

Not that I wish this on anyone, but after your wife has cheated on you, then cheating with another guy's girl seems like much less of a big deal. Value judgements are a waste of time; there are always two sides to the story, but you usually only hear one. One of my GFs cheated on her husband with another married guy. That makes her sound like a wh0re. But her husband went over a year without having sex with her before that. That makes him sound neglectful at the least. But after they divorced he confessed that he was molested repeatedly by his uncle as a child. Fvck, now whom do we blame? That uncle was probably molested himself. Do you see how blame is a waste of time? People cheat, sh!t happens. Don't get hung up on the morals of it.

STR8UP said:

No, no, not at all.

It does feed my ego....I won't lie about that. A good looking 22 yr old college chick....I'm 36....I mean, it DOES feel good to know I still "got it".

I enjoy hanging out with her, so I wouldn't mind hooking up but no relationship....I know better.

That's what really gets the better of my conscience with this, because I know my interest level doesn't match hers. I am setting her up for a fall no matter how I play it, if I give her any kind of hope. This is my only real hesitation.

Click to expand...

I should go back and read the thread more carefully- but I'm rushing, so-

different situation, different personalities, but reading what you say above reminds me of my situation with a girl whom I've been "sarging", having fun, but with a lot of sexual and also non-sexual tension about what we're doing and not doing.

Well, the last time we got together I decided to TALK to her. Tentatively at first, just to test the water but she was absolutely fabulous in that she totally opened up and we had a great open-ended discussion that went beyond the talking in that it brought us much closer, much more intimate, dissipating a lot of the (non-fun) tension.

I'm still not sure where or exactly how we're proceeding but it feels GREAT to be proceeding with someone I feel close to in a lot of new ways.

So: you know where I'm going with this- you have nothing to lose, why not see how far you can get with an honest talk, you may be surprised.