The Main Question is:
I've read the DJ Bible, I don't have my life together yet, don't have passions yet, and am not in love with myself. Should I practice with what plates I have now(not many), or should I just focus on these life goals first, find myself, and then start spinning plates with the new me ?


(That's what I've been telling myself for years that I would get my sht together and then start dating, but it really hasn't happened yet, Although THIS year things have started well and things will be different.)




Background info

I suffered with depression for the past few years and always believed that you've got to love yourself before you love anyone else. Depression paralyzes you and I've been completely out of the dating scene for years until this past Winter because of it.

Enough is enough. I'm tired of this and want to move forward.

Constructive criticism will be appreciated.

Personally I recommend making it a priority to improve yourself, learn to love yourself and be the man you want to be and not for womens sake.. for your sake. Look at where you are, where you want to be.. plan out steps to get there and get start along that path. It won't be a destination you can reach over night.. but if you sincerely work at it and take steps each day.. eventually you'll look behind you and see you've covered miles.

Depression seems all too common in today's world. I think a lot of it stems from a disparity between what we REALLY want out of life and what we're TOLD that we want.

Sometimes you're just not there yet. The key to life is to realize when you're feeling bad because you WANT something and DON'T have it and when you feel bad because you DON'T want something but people keep telling you you should.

Honestly...I've come to realize that until you find that self-love, romance is pointless. You don't really want it. You're not CAPABLE of wanting REAL romance until you're straight with your own life.

You're TOLD that's what you should be after, so you feel crappy when you don't have a girlfriend/f-buddy/whatever, but the truth is you're not even evolved to a state where you CAN desire romance, because you're still looking for some basic level of esteem within yourself...and as a result, any attempt to find romance, or what you THINK is romance, becomes a thinly-veiled desire to find love for yourself. And this chases women away.

Find out what it is that you have fun doing. Don't worry for now whether it's what your friends like, or what women will like, or whether it'll make you rich or famous. You're not ready to worry about things like this.

Take some time for yourself.

JohnnyIrish said:

Personally I recommend making it a priority to improve yourself, learn to love yourself and be the man you want to be and not for womens sake.. for your sake. Look at where you are, where you want to be.. plan out steps to get there and get start along that path. It won't be a destination you can reach over night.. but if you sincerely work at it and take steps each day.. eventually you'll look behind you and see you've covered miles.

Click to expand...

I agree. How the heck does a guy exspect to stand up and keep his balance spinning plates when he doesn't have a solid foundation to stand on?

Thanks for the comments.

First year in college I:
1) Loved myself
2) Went to a good university, was going places
3) Could socialize and make anyone laugh
4) Witty conversation was automatic and second-nature
5) Very optimistic


After depression struck 4-5 years back, it's never been the same. I have nothing to say in conversation, tend to be self-critical, not really free and funny as I used to be.

I always compare myself now, to how I used to be then, and it's so much to live up to.

Focusing now on improving myself, thanks dudes.:rockon: