After my breakup I constantly feel like I am just floating through life. Almost as if I am watching it all happen on screen and only sometimes I can change the channel. Most of the time I just have to sit and watch. Life does not actually feel real. Girls I slept with, distant memories. I almost wonder if (if i did not have the pictures) if it really happened. The end of my relationship was the same way; it was as if it was all happening beyond my control. I could see it going downhill but I was just a spectator; i could not stop it from crashing and burning. It was all speeding to a boiling point and i just watched helplessly.
anyone feel this way?

BobFuest said:

After my breakup I constantly feel like I am just floating through life. Almost as if I am watching it all happen on screen and only sometimes I can change the channel. Most of the time I just have to sit and watch. Life does not actually feel real. Girls I slept with, distant memories. I almost wonder if (if i did not have the pictures) if it really happened. The end of my relationship was the same way; it was as if it was all happening beyond my control. I could see it going downhill but I was just a spectator; i could not stop it from crashing and burning. It was all speeding to a boiling point and i just watched helplessly.
anyone feel this way?

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My guess is that even during your relationship you were just floating through life. I've read some of your other posts and it sounds like you've had a lot of fun. However, fun does not mean happiness. I've had a lot fun in my youth with wine, women and song and only recently can I honestly say that I've felt the inner peace and happiness that comes from massive soul searching and knowing who I am. I still love wine, women and song but they are just a part of my life and don't dictate my happiness. As men, we'll all be challenged in our lives. Rising to the challenge is the key. Having said that, life is real. Sieze the day.


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when you are in a relationship you create a fantasy world. when that relationship ends, for many guys, its like waking up from a dream. they are groggy, not sure where they are or whats going on, and just like when you wake up in the morning it takes them a while to regain their bearings.

a big part of maturing is not losing touch with reality just because you are in a relationship.

this way, when the relationship ends, its not that big of a adjustment. but in order to accomplish this you must first create a 'reality' that you enjoy, so that you aren't seeking to 'escape' into la la land the moment a chic comes into your life. when you escape into fantasy land, she becomes the center of your universe (which is always a huge mistake).

this is why a lot of guys get so crazy angry at their woman when a relationship ends. because while they were sleepwalking, she woke up weeks if not months ago, and has been quietly sneaking up behind you with a frying pan in her hand and then one day - BAM! you wake up to see her standing over you with the frying pan in her hand and you've got a 4 inch welt on the back of your head.

Its ok man, peoples comments here dont bother me.
This breakup rocked me to my very core, its true. I had found my "soulmate" but we are incompatible. She will always be the one who understands me the most and the one who can read my mind but she will never be mine. It just wont work. Her screwed up ideal "man" (whatever that may be) will never match up with reality. She is doomed to be alone. poor girl. i feel for her. I think nature (her environment) got the best of her.
I am not alone so much as I need to find a way to put a foot on the ground and slow this crazy train. the brakes are gone and I feel like I am putting my hand out hoping some one will throw me a rope and pull me off. Working out sounds great as I am 2 months behind my routine. Anyone want to donate to my gracie jujitsu fund? i really need physical combat in my life to control my emotions better hahahah

BobFuest said:

Its ok man, peoples comments here dont bother me.
This breakup rocked me to my very core, its true. I had found my "soulmate" but we are incompatible. She will always be the one who understands me the most and the one who can read my mind but she will never be mine. It just wont work. Her screwed up ideal "man" (whatever that may be) will never match up with reality. She is doomed to be alone. poor girl. i feel for her. I think nature (her environment) got the best of her.

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perhaps she understands who you are now, but you can't say she understands you the most, because you dont know who you will be in 5 years from now. in 5 years you could be a completely different person and meet some woman who understands you even more than this one did.

as for your relationship failing because her idea of an ideal man is out of line with reality - i doubt thats the case.

it sounds to me like a simple case of you were in to her more than she was in to you.

Another symptom of making women your primary purpose.

joekerr31 said:

perhaps she understands who you are now, but you can't say she understands you the most, because you dont know who you will be in 5 years from now. in 5 years you could be a completely different person and meet some woman who understands you even more than this one did.

as for your relationship failing because her idea of an ideal man is out of line with reality - i doubt thats the case.

it sounds to me like a simple case of you were in to her more than she was in to you.

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If she was not as in to me as she stated or acted then it was no fault of mine. Thats false advertising and I dont believe it is in my best interest to deal with people who are not true to themselves and what they feel.

Francisco d'Anconia said:

Another symptom of making women your primary purpose.

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funny you say that, that is the reason i dont come here much. its always girls this and girls that.. rather depressing and boring sometimes...

Two things, Bob.
You need to work on GROUNDING yourself, and being PRESENT.

You also need to use this as a lesson that a Man is at his best when his main focus is on HIS Mission.
A lot of the times, when we lose our DREAM Girl, and we've made her OUR DREAM...

.......when we LOSE her....

....we also LOSE our DREAM.

And also, let this be a reminder, to never 'sleepwalk' through life.


I applaud your efforts to get into the MA. Gracie JJ would not be my first choice, but it's good enough for now.

Make sure you maintain your personal boundary, stick to your goals, work on achieving them, and make sure you have an actual Mission Statement for yourself, a sort of contract that you must ACHIEVE.

BobFuest said:

funny you say that, that is the reason i dont come here much. its always girls this and girls that.. rather depressing and boring sometimes...

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I can understand that. Although I do find ways to amuse myself while in the forum...

If I were I'd call up a couple of buds and head Downtown for a slice and some beer at Gino's and then bar hop down on Rush or go to Excalibur.

BobFuest said:

funny you say that, that is the reason i dont come here much. its always girls this and girls that.. rather depressing and boring sometimes...

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Yes, it can be disheartening. Being a "Mature Man" seems to have been lost by many posting here as they spiral into misery and pain which they think is caused by a woman. Still, there are many great posters here with much wisdom who in their goodness promote truth and thought while helping many. Part of me feels an obligation as a male to help many of the sheep here being led to slaughter.



.

Interceptor said:

Two things, Bob.
You need to work on GROUNDING yourself, and being PRESENT.

You also need to use this as a lesson that a Man is at his best when his main focus is on HIS Mission.
A lot of the times, when we lose our DREAM Girl, and we've made her OUR DREAM...

.......when we LOSE her....

....we also LOSE our DREAM.

And also, let this be a reminder, to never 'sleepwalk' through life.


I applaud your efforts to get into the MA. Gracie JJ would not be my first choice, but it's good enough for now.

Make sure you maintain your personal boundary, stick to your goals, work on achieving them, and make sure you have an actual Mission Statement for yourself, a sort of contract that you must ACHIEVE.

Click to expand...

Been on this site..not much sarge news from my camp.. had a gf but just broke up with her today.. I feel pretty bad to.. in the end it was compatibility.. she was not an active girl and I am an active person.. I was sleepwalking today since I didn't fall asleep till 6 and still had to go to work in the morning..

I don't know if I've lost my dream.. all I know is I listen to Bobby Valentino songs when I break up with girls.. kinda weird.. ha