need some help fellas.
I am 29 years old and have been out with numerous women. I'm not trying to be some type of player or whatever crap, I'm looking to settle down.

This is gonna be quite long.

Let me start off by saying we dated for about 8 months last year. I broke it off September of last year because I wasn't ready to deal with the ready made family stuff. The whole time we were dating I knew she was the one even though i had doubts because of the situation of her already having a kid.

So we pretty much stayed in contact after the break up. And talked on a regular basis until about May of this year and lost contact until around November she was calling me like crazy but I never answered the phone. I was dating some other girl and she is dating some other guy. My reason for not talking to her is that I wasn't ready to reestablish contact with her.

Well now I called her last Monday and we chatted for a bit and I found out the guy she's seeing she doesn't like so much. She asked why I called and I said just to see how she's been. She seemed depressed and I asked her what was wrong. She then said you know I tried calling you numerous times like a month ago. I said I know and I asked why she didn't leave a message she said because she figured I'd call back. Told her she should have left a message. So I tell her about the girl I was dating. And we chat a bit about life in general.

So she calls me a couple days later and seems all giddy with me and the like.
I've been busy because of the holiday and such. We chat a bit as usual and then I had to go. She calls again Friday after thanksgiving and asking me what I'm doing. I play in a band and was at practice and didn't talk to her long. This is where I feel I ****ed up. I should have chatted her up on us because I could feel it. You know the feeling you get when you just know it's right but i didn't do it being as I was busy.

I tried calling her place yesterday (She lives at home with her parents right at this moment). Her mom told me she's been out all day and told me she is over at that dudes pretty much. So I tell her mom to have her call me. I figured she would have called by now by the vibes we both have but now I'm starting to feel I blew it when she gave me the window of opportunity to talk about us the other day.

As weird as it seems I feel she is not gonna call back. I'm not one for mushy stuff so i kinda held of in that respect too.

Does it seem like I blew it and she just gave up or does it seem like if she calls I'll be good as gold? I could tell she wanted to chat up about us when she called and the such but I feel like I just confused her by calling and being kinda aloof about my intentions. I just need some insight as to what to expect if anyone has been through something similar.

oh let us count the ways you've blown it...

1) calling up an ex
2) thinking about getting back with an ex
3) wanting to date a woman with a kid
4) wanting to date a woman who lives with her parents
5) taking serious a woman who is a branch swinger (and basically admits she would dump the guy she is with if you wanted to see her again - she's a total opportunist. although most women are like this so, so hard to fault i guess).
6) actually worrying about what it means that some chic who lives with her parents who has a kid and a boyfriend that she doesn't like hasn't called you back yet.
7) referring to this woman as 'the one'


you've blown this thing so badly that you are now officially gay.

hahaha. i knew someone would post something like this.

Gotta agree with joekker on this one.

So I should just say **** it and let it go?

Cognac,

you are being ridiculous. This girl has very little to offer except trouble.

I suggest you step back and think about this with your brain instead of your heart.

Whenever your brain and heart are in disagreement, your brain is always right.

I agree with ya I know my heart is blinding me. Why the hell is she trying to contact me like in the prior month and acting all depressed. I mean after she told me she was gonna dump that guy she never talked about him again. In all actuality I think she was trying to see if I'd get jealous and then I told her about the girl I was dating and she shut up about the dude.

cognac said:

So I should just say **** it and let it go?

Click to expand...

i don't think you could say **** it even if you wanted to.

lets be honest, the fact that you are looking at this chic and thinking shes the 'one' is the real problem.

and id be willing to bet there is a huge 'captain save a ho' factor at play in all this.

when you become captain save a ho things that normally would make you run from a woman miraculously attract you to her. the fact that her life is a mess becauses a positive instead of a negative.

ultimately, you could be out there finding yourself a brand new car. but instead you're considering buying a used car with 100,000 clicks on it, rust on the body and coffee stains on the seats. and the irony is you're going to pay the same price for the used car as you would for the brand new one.

i mean, if thats the car you REALLY want, who are we to tell you not to buy it. doesn't make much sense ot me though.

yeah this is turning into bad news.
I dunno she's smokin hot though, maybe thats blinding me too

Hey COGNAC,

Been there, done that.

Never compromise integrity. Never place or accept a phone call again. MAN UP!

Are you of high character?

Who are you?

well either way i fuct it up hahahaha.

Called her on Monday at her work number she gave me and the convo was pretty nil and uninspiring. Just bull**** chitchat about her job and then i started to tell her about how I have to go to court for a bar fight on Wednesday. She interrupted me before i was done and then said she'd call me back. Well we all know what happened after that ,you guessed, it no call no nothing.

I dunno I really felt like when she called on Friday i should have made my intentions clear but **** I got a life and I was busy. Like she couldn't wait for a day or two.

Either way it's rather hilarious. I figured if she really wanted me back she would have said somethin along the lines of she had dumped that guy already. Ya know some kinda statement besides waitin for me to come around and act like a wussy puppy dog, which i cannot bring myself to do cuz it's just not me. The sad part is I bet she will try to contact me again cuz from the sounds of this guy he could never get a date, she told me he tried to get dates off of the internet for the past two years, hahaha and is rather clingy and needy.

I know I'm not really over her and i really wish had never answered her call. but **** it life's meant to be played hard and to take a risk.

Damn it feels good to get this **** off my chest though. thanks for listening guys!