Folks, I wanted to share this with you and to get various perspectives. Some of you might remember that in one of my posts several weeks ago, I mentioned that I seem to have noticed two women in particular at my gym making eye contact with and staring at me for several seconds when I happened to walk past them. In fact, with one of them it was so obvious, but before I could even make my move (for those of you who might remember the post) some other guy came from nowhere and began talking to her for several minutes and persuaded her to give him her number.


Anyway, enough digressing. So yesterday, one of the other two women who I suspect have been checking me out walked up to me right when I was about to get on the Abs machine. Again, perhaps she really did it because she wanted to use the machine, but I have seldom ever seen her talking to men at my gym before. So she came up to me and asked if she could work on the abs machine with me and it was significant because it was the first time that we ever engaged in any form of verbal communication. So I let her join me and each time I will take a break between sets, she would get on the machine. This particular woman's legs are just unbelievable that the only word I can use to describe them is "lustful"-she has an amazing athletic build and can run on the treadmills and ellipticals forever. At one point during the workout, I asked her if she was all right with the weight on the abs machine at level 70, which was what I was doing. She said, "yeah."


When I was leaving the abs machine, I said to her, "All right...I'm done. It's all yours." She looked at me, smiled and said, "Well, thank you very much. Have a good night."

Prior to leaving the gym yesterday night, I tried another strategy to see if she will check me out in the process. I was getting ready to leave and I had my black, Diesel leather jacket on and a black turtle neck, walking with confidence. I walked toward the elliptical area, pretending to take some of the paper towel that is used to clean equipment. There she was, on one of the elliptical machines. At first, her head was down while she ran. Then when she noticed me, she looked and kept her eyes focused on me almost until I left that area. So my strategy worked. Now I am 100% ready to walk up to her directly and make my move the next time I run into her and I think she will listen, because I think I have seen quite enough clues so far. But I wanted to share all of this with you folks too to make sure I am interpreting this correctly.

you know what i think frank. i think you are that 250 pound bodybuilder who everyone is afraid of, but who secretly cries himself to bed at night and is afraid of his own shadow.

dude, its CRAZY the degree to which you have worked up women in your own head. its like you are meeting the dalai lama or jesus or something.

i mean, ya, if i were meeting jesus i'd be nervous probably. but even then, id just go with teh flow. i wouldn't stand there adjusting my tie 400 times.

what worries me with you frank is that you build women up sooooo much without even knowing them that you are goign to get your nuts cut off when you finally get in a relationship with one.

the way to look at women initially is VERY simple. are you attracted to her? if yes, then make chit chat with her. if she doesn't brush you off, then ask her out.

it really is that simple.

anyway, as per your specific question in this post, yes it sounds like you're in good shape with this chic.

especially given this is in the gym - women stay away from men they want nothing to do with. moreoever, any time a woman gives you eye contact and a smile you shoudl always take that as a green light to approach. women consider this gesture to be as clear and straight forward as them coming right out and saying they like you (crazy i know, but thats women for ya).

oh, the other thing...

maybe im being overly cynical. i guess the thing is ive laid super hot chics and eventually got bored of them and basically wanted to get away from them.

so im cognisant of the fact that as much as a woman may really turn you on initially, it doesnt mean you'll enjoy being around her long term.

as a result i dont take initial interactions with a woman all that seriously.

Re:

Joekr, I appreciate your feedback. I'm nowhere even close to 250lbs, though. Lol... I'm only about 182-185lbs.

joekerr31 said:

the way to look at women initially is VERY simple. are you attracted to her? if yes, then make chit chat with her. if she doesn't brush you off, then ask her out.

it really is that simple.

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This is pretty much gold. All the analysis does you no good at all and only ****s up your mind and your game in the process.

Off-topic: I really hate the word game...why is it called game? Acting spontaneously, friendly, funny, interested but not needy shouldn't be called game, it should be called the markings of an emotionally sane man.

The only thing is ... you gotta experience before you really start seeing it's that simple. It's SOO DAMN easy to fall into the analysis cycle. In the last few weeks, I started getting into the mindset 'if she's friendly and gives a smile back, just open, chat for a bit and when we hit it off, just ask'. It landed me 3 plates I'm spinning.

Sounds like you just have to ask Frank.

I would say they were interested in you. In the first instances, that other douchebag sure noticed she was giving you eyes and he came in and fed off her pumped up buying tempature to get the number close. If he had the chance to do it in front of you and you saw it happen, then you had the chance. You just didn't pull the trigger.

In the second case similarly, you should've pulled the trigger and went for the number close, or at least flirted with her a bit to feel her interest out better. I know it's not always easy to be in the state to pull the trigger and a loot of girls could be just AW, but it's better to find out early on.

Re:

I just wanted to point out that I've gone past that "fear of rejection" stage and even the nervousness stage when it comes to approaching women. I respect Joker's response, but I don't see it quite as nervousness. Being too analytical and more analytical than necessary? I would say so...that's probably where my problem is and what I need to work on. I have no problem doing cold approaches with strangers on the street and I have received phone numbers and e-mails from that in the past, and as recently as just a week ago. Cold approaches on the street are actually one of the best ways to practice in my opinion. And Jokerr, I know you were "joking," but I certainly don't "cry myself to sleep at night." Never have, never will. I'm a man.


The reason why I may sometimes not feel as comfortable in the gym environment is that it looks sometimes as if the whole world is watching your every move, since it is such a close knit environment. Plus, people tend to gossip a lot. But I haven't let that stop me from approaching when I really feel attracted to a woman. I guess as a journalist and writer, I just have the observant thing going on. One thing with the gym scene too is that a lot of these women, especially the attractive ones, have circles of friends. And even though I shouldn't worry about things like that, I sometimes wonder what would happen if a close friend of a woman I hooked up with saw me hitting on other women at the gym randomly. But I'm not going to let that stop me from approaching. I have lost many opportunities in the past from wasting time when clearly seeing signals at the gym from women who were interested in me.

Re:

You guys are great on this site. Joekerr, Lebowski, Ketostix and others who've responded to this post so far. Such feedback greatly helps. It wouldn't have been any easier without the help of resources such as this forum. That's why I post on here to ask these questions. Constructive feedback helps each of us become better. In terms of the Eastern European woman who was checking me out before the "douchebag" (to use ketostix's words..Lol) noticed it and hit on her, I still think I may have a shot with her. It seems as if she recognized me last night-she too was at the gym, but she was working out with a personal trainer. I'm not going to not try making a move on her just because the other dude talked to her already. Yesterday was the first time I saw her at the gym since he talked to her, but it's never better to not make an effort than to step up to the plate and talk to women who you find attractive. I'm also going to take advantage of any opportunity I may have to talk to the other one who worked on the abs machine with me yesterday.

The reason why I may sometimes not feel as comfortable in the gym environment is that it looks sometimes as if the whole world is watching your every move, since it is such a close knit environment. Plus, people tend to gossip a lot

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This is true and I suspected it was the reason you didn't close on these girls. But the thing is, all these people watching and gossiping are a necessary evil because it can work for you as well as against you. Cold approaching on the street, for most people, is not as productive as approaching in a "social" enviroment.

One thing with the gym scene too is that a lot of these women, especially the attractive ones, have circles of friends. And even though I shouldn't worry about things like that, I sometimes wonder what would happen if a close friend of a woman I hooked up with saw me hitting on other women at the gym randomly.

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Don't worry about this. People will ****block for no good reason anyway, but if you're getting hook ups your value goes up. The only thing you have to worry about is closing on these oportunities and then meeting them up outide the gym.

The GymMaster steps in

Reading your posts, one could think you are a woman. Just look at yourself:

I was getting ready to leave and I had my black, Diesel leather jacket on and a black turtle neck, walking with confidence. I walked toward the elliptical area, pretending to take some of the paper towel that is used to clean equipment. There she was, on one of the elliptical machines. At first, her head was down while she ran. Then when she noticed me, she looked and kept her eyes focused on me almost until I left that area. So my strategy worked.

And that's just one quote. Substitute the word Diesel with "Gucci" or whatever woman brand is hot right now, and you have a chick talking.

You're objective is not to get her to see you man, that would be the objective of a woman.

Now, go and say this:

"Hey. So, what's your name?" "_____, does that start with an _? Oh, spell it out for me . . . " *This way you remember her name!*

Do a set of excercise, then return and say.

"So ___, what do you do?" (as in work/study).
After she's done talking, say, as you hand her your cellphone:

"Listen ____ with an _ (letter). You are fun. Write down your number and I'll call you and we'll go out some time."

Don't say anything else, When she takes your mobile, kneel and tie a knot to your sneaker's laces, don't just stand there waiting for her to say yes, no or whatever. Just assume. Then stand up, don't say thanks, say "Great then, I'm going now. Bye!"

And go.

The GymMaster steps out, and remembers to complete his ultimate Gym Guide.

Go for it. The only way you know if she's interested is if she responds favorably to your advances.

Don't sit around and speculate. It's not attractive.

Simply assume that all women want to get in your pants. If it turns out one of them isn't, assume she is crazy or lesbo. Works for me.

Re:

Samependo, with all due respect to you, I have to be honest in that I not only found you referring to my writing style as being like a woman talking, but I was also offended by what you wrote. While I respect your right to your opinion and to criticize, there are more refined ways through which you could choose to do that. I am very offended by you trying to challenge my masculinity thus, if that's what you're trying to do. And I don't appreciate that at all.

With all due respect Frank2500, being offended about what Samependo wrote is pretty unmanly. Guys rib each other, they don't choose their words carefully so as not to offend other guys delicate sensibilitites.

Frank2500 said:

When I was leaving the abs machine, I said to her, "All right...I'm done. It's all yours." She looked at me, smiled and said, "Well, thank you very much. Have a good night."

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You just described a typical situation in a typical gym environment. However why you didn't use C&F to gauge her interest is beyond me. That is one way of knowing if a woman diggs you is when she laughs on your stupid jokes.

This is funny(to me atleast...) because I just picked-up a woman at the gym. She was in a group of 2, just like you described. And when I got her number.. this other guy looked at me with disgust. The moral of the story: "Speed wins ball games"

The gym is full of numbnutts pumped with too much of who knows what.

Next time -just ask her how her work out is going or something like that.

Frank2500 said:

Samependo, with all due respect to you, I have to be honest in that I not only found you referring to my writing style as being like a woman talking, but I was also offended by what you wrote. While I respect your right to your opinion and to criticize, there are more refined ways through which you could choose to do that. I am very offended by you trying to challenge my masculinity thus, if that's what you're trying to do. And I don't appreciate that at all.

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I wouldn't worry too much about anyone who refers to himself as "The GymMaster".

MikeYikes122 said:

I wouldn't worry too much about anyone who refers to himself as "The GymMaster".

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I wouldn't worry too much about anyone who's screenname is . . . well, nevermind.

Frank2500; Nighthawk and swifty said it for me. I don't think I was even playing with you, I was just pointing something in a way that didn't suggest you were a woman. Suppose I didn't pick my words right.

Frank, update?

PLEASE tell us you got her number...or at least you actually approached her...