How do you know how aggressive you should be with a girl? Or that you 're better off pretending to be a little shy and let her chase you slightly?

I've never known a girl to want a shy guy. I've never known a girl to want an overly aggressive guy.

As a guy you should never play at either extreme. Always remain in the middle ground.

i dont think any girl wants a shy guy, just do you

this is very wrong...one of teh hottest girls ive ever met in my life was attracted to shy good looking guys...EMPHASIS ON THE GOOD LOOKING PART

I like shy guys. Especially if they also seem confident. An intriguing paradox.

iqqi said:

I like shy guys. Especially if they also seem confident. An intriguing paradox.

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It's not really a paradox at all. I totally understand it. It's a different type of confidence with a focus on selfconfidence.

^^^ I know this. Others may not. I am the shy, confident type myself. I tend to speak in terms normal ppl might understand best.

How in the world can you be both shy and confident when an antonym of shy is confident?

Unless you are super good looking being shy will get you absolutely nothing.

Dictionary.com said:

Shy
–adjective
1. bashful; retiring.
2. easily frightened away; timid.
3. suspicious; distrustful: I am a bit shy of that sort of person.
4. reluctant; wary.
5. deficient: shy of funds.
6. scant; short of a full amount or number: still a few dollars shy of our goal; an inch shy of being six feet.
7. (in poker) indebted to the pot.
8. not bearing or breeding freely, as plants or animals.
–verb (used without object)
9. (esp. of a horse) to start back or aside, as in fear.
10. to draw back; recoil.
–noun
11. a sudden start aside, as in fear.
—Idiom
12. fight shy of, to keep away from; avoid: She fought shy of making the final decision.
[Origin: bef. 1000; late ME schey (adj.), early ME scheowe, OE scéoh; c. MHG schiech; akin to D schuw, G scheu; cf. eschew]

—Related forms
shyer, noun
shyly, adverb
shyness, noun

—Synonyms 1. Shy, bashful, diffident imply a manner that shows discomfort or lack of confidence in association with others. Shy implies a constitutional shrinking from contact or close association with others, together with a wish to escape notice: shy and retiring. Bashful suggests timidity about meeting others, and trepidation and awkward behavior when brought into prominence or notice: a bashful child. Diffident emphasizes self-distrust, fear of censure, failure, etc., and a hesitant, tentative manner as a consequence: a diffident approach to a touchy subject. 4. heedful, cautious, chary. 10. shrink.
—Antonyms 1. forward. 2. trusting. 4. careless. 10. advance.

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If shyness was attractive I wouldn't have ever joined this board as I would be rolling in pvssy. One thing though. The definition of shy doesn't contain quiet. I thought the two went together.

Shyness is in fact attractive to certain girls out there, but yeah, it only hurts when it comes to meeting girls yourself.

Wolf said:

In the same way you can be the tallest small person I'm guessing. Otherwise god knows

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So that would make him the most confident shy person? Might need to figure out another analogy.

I think a lot of people confuse shyness with quietness. Just because someone is quiet doesn't mean they're timid or have self-esteem issues.

Take me for example. I've always been a really quiet, introverted guy, but I'm not scared of people or anything like that. I just don't have a lot to say most of the time. When I do talk, I'm more direct than most people. I don't beat around the bush.

The only problem with being this way is it makes it 10x harder to meet women. I'm in my mid-twenties and have yet to even go on a date. I'm not an ugly guy by any means. I'm just never around girls I'm attracted to long enough for anything to happen.

basically, women are attracted to Men who LEAD.
Do not expect a womna to lead...unless you are an effeminate Male.

Do not think in terms of shy or aggressive.

Think of connecting and interacting with her a s a man to a Woman.
She will not let you know exactly what she wants, what turns her on, and what she expects sexually.

But if she's a womaa, then she has to react to basic attraction.

The first thing is to always have a subtext of intent. You are talking, and interacting with this woman because you are attracted.
You then QUALIFY her to find out if you're INTERESTED in HER. Is she interesting? Or is she just a piece of ass to you?

You like girls don't you?

OK, so what's wrong with talking to a girl you're attracted to?

"OMG! But what will she think of me?? I must be interesting to her! I can;t mess up! No, no! The I will lose her! I cannot...I must not FAIL! I must become th ePerfect Man for her!! So I must find out covertly WHAT SHE LIKES...THEN.... I will have my secret weapon! I will know what SHE WANTS!! And I will mold myself to become what she says she likes!! Yes! That;s the answer!

Fail. Wrong.

"Middle Ground" is for pvssies who are afraid of being upfront and sexual with a woman. They fear rejection so they avoid it in their communication and interaction with her.

News Flash: Women can tell.

YOU DO THIS (middle ground stuff, the murky gray area of waiting for her to Signal YOU to Proceed Sexually) is setting up for her to NOT take you seriously, and start the "Are you Congruent?" and "Why are you so Afraid of ME? Aren;t you a Man?" Sh*t Tests.

If you're afraid, and are so scared that you have to find out what SHE LIKES specifically so that you can ACCOMODATE HER????.......you are an AFC pvssy Girl-Boy.


Read this agian:

Women expect YOU to LEAD. Confident, Masculine Men LEAD. Wome are attracted to confident , masculine Men.


AFC: "Yeah, but she SAYS she "likes shy guys".

Interceptor: "She can say she likes Martians for all I care, but a heterosexual Woman CANNOT control being attracted to basic, masculinity in all it's glory. Fvck what she says, be what is ATTRACTIVE to ALL Women!"

Plus, women who say they like shy guys are sometimes hung up sexually, so they often prefer girl-boys who are sexually non threatening, so that eventually the girl can learn how to dominate him.

You'll never hear a woman tell you that, fellas. And it's not true for all women, of course, but there's truth to that factoid.




If you're not leading, my friend...then what does that make you?

For me personally, I just love Womne. I love them. I adore womne. I appreciate women.

Yet, I ain't stupid or naive.

So I never go in thinknig "What does SHE like?"

I always have the mindset of "I love women. This girl is cute. I'm going to talk to her."

That's it.

There is no agenda.

There is no murkiness, or ambiguity. I am ready for sh*t tests, I expect them. And I navuigate through them. I make it fun.
I already know I'm attractive. But my only intent is to interact with the womna. If she displays soomething interesting to me personally ( "I absolutely adore the Lord of the Rings Trilogy!")
HELLO! (Interceptor raises his eyebrow and Game ON.........)

I never, ever, EVER seek their validation of me.

Neither should you.


Here is an excerpt from Wayne "Juggler" Elise's book I want you to read:

Chapter 8: A candid conversation about being sexual
Beethoven: "What do I have to do to make women desire
me?"
Juggler: "You have to be both interesting and interested."
Beethoven: "I think I can be interested enough."
Juggler: "What do you mean?"
Beethoven: "Maybe I'm too interested. Like I just asked this
girl from my business-law class out. I took her to a steak and
lobster dinner."
Juggler: "What happened?"
Beethoven: "It cost me 75 bucks to find out she just
wanted to be friends."
Juggler: "Oh yeah, I know that girl. She is sleeping with
Joe, the unemployed guy with five kids by three different women.
How does that make you feel?"
Beethoven: (laughing) "It’s been almost four weeks. I'm
over her now - mostly. Its just frustrating to know that I'm a
good guy but women can't seem to see that. They would rather
be with some irresponsible guy who just wants to use them for
sex and then dump them."
Juggler: "Yes, but I don't blame them. I would rather sleep
with Joe too."
Beethoven laughs.
Juggler: "Don't take women on anymore expensive dates."
Beethoven: "Ever?"
Juggler: "Maybe on your third wedding anniversary. But
make sure she pays for the valet."
Beethoven: "...Okay."
Juggler: "You're angry with women."
Beethoven: "No, just a little frustrated."
Juggler: "Shut up. You're angry. It’s okay. Let it out."
Beethoven: (laughing) "No I'm okay."
Juggler: "I'm serious. Tell me the truth. Part of your
problem is you're not letting these &#^$*! feelings out."
Beethoven: "Yes, I'm mad. I am beginning to hate
women!"
Juggler: "Good. That's a necessary step."
Beethoven: "What do I do?"
Juggler: "Well I could give you some fancy lines and
gimmicks to use during your dates."
Beethoven: "Okay."
Juggler: "But I am not going to do that. I like you too
much. What is going on here is you are asking women out who
you meet during your day-to-day life, school colleagues and girls
from your gym. These women are socializing with you because,
given the situation, they must and not because they have chosen
to. There is nothing wrong with that. But my guess is you are
bulldozing them into going out with you. It probably goes
something like this...
'Hey how did you do on that paper?' you ask.
'Fine,' she says.
'I remember how you were talking the other day about
liking a well-cooked steak. Have you been to the new Big O'
Texas Juicies? It's supposed to be good.'
'No..,'
'You wanna go?'
'What do you mean?'
'Do you want to check it out sometime? It could be fun. I
hear they have a mechanical bull.'
'Okay.'
'Great, let me get your phone number.'
Is that how it happens?"
Beethoven: "Basically."
Juggler: "Are you asking her out on a romantic date or as
friends or what?"
Beethoven: "I presume she knows what it means."
Juggler: "Bad presumption. You are making your intentions
unclear so if she turns you down you can pass it off as a friendlyinvitation.
This is self-protection at its finest. The technical term
is weak-move. If she understands your romantic intention she
will think you gutless. If she doesn't, she will just be confused.
Either way it’s a lose-lose."
Beethoven: "Maybe, but surely she should know it was
romantic when we went out on our date. I washed my car and
wore cologne"
Juggler: "Yeah she probably got it. Attractive women like
her usually understand what's up. She knows you are playing it
safe and waiting for some type of sign from her that it's okay to
reveal your intent. This is called being murky. She hates these
murky dates. She knows the murky type of guy who will play the
whole date in this safe, murky place while he waits for her to
take the lead. This is very unsexy to a woman. Its the pimple of
dating techniques."
Beethoven: "Well, why did she agree to go out in the first
place if she knew it was going to be, as you say, murky?"
Juggler: "You took her by surprise. She was being friendly.
And once she was committed to being friendly she couldn't just
turn around and say no way Jose. Most women aren't that
strong. They can't even say the word no. She feared that telling
you how she felt would make it appear as if she had been
dishonest by being friendly. I know it doesn't make sense but
that is how many women think.
Now a woman in a different situation would just never
return your call or create some excuse. But this woman was in
your class. You had her cornered like a thirsty penguin on the
fourth of July. She had to keep up the charade and go through
with your 'date'.
But of course she was simply putting off the inevitable
rejection. She kept hoping you would get the idea she's not into
you in that special way. But you didn't want to take any hints.
You were persistent. Eventually she had to reject you. Usually
this involves her leaving an embarrassed voicemail after you
embossed your feelings for all time in a ten-line sonata. And now
you have spent so much time and mental energy on her that you
feel devastated. Is that how it goes?"
Beethoven: "Pretty much yeah.......

Interceptor said:

'Great, let me get your phone number.'
Is that how it happens?"
Beethoven: "Basically."
Juggler: "Are you asking her out on a romantic date or as
friends or what?"
Beethoven: "I presume she knows what it means."
Juggler: "Bad presumption. You are making your intentions
unclear so if she turns you down you can pass it off as a friendly invitation.
This is self-protection at its finest. The technical term
is weak-move. If she understands your romantic intention she
will think you gutless. If she doesn't, she will just be confused.
Either way it’s a lose-lose."
Beethoven: "Maybe, but surely she should know it was
romantic when we went out on our date. I washed my car and
wore cologne"
Juggler: "Yeah she probably got it. Attractive women like
her usually understand what's up. She knows you are playing it
safe and waiting for some type of sign from her that it's okay to
reveal your intent. This is called being murky. She hates these
murky dates. She knows the murky type of guy who will play the
whole date in this safe, murky place while he waits for her to
take the lead. This is very unsexy to a woman. Its the pimple of
dating techniques."
Beethoven: "Well, why did she agree to go out in the first
place if she knew it was going to be, as you say, murky?"
Juggler: "You took her by surprise. She was being friendly.
And once she was committed to being friendly she couldn't just
turn around and say no way Jose. Most women aren't that
strong. They can't even say the word no. She feared that telling
you how she felt would make it appear as if she had been
dishonest by being friendly. I know it doesn't make sense but
that is how many women think.
Now a woman in a different situation would just never
return your call or create some excuse. But this woman was in
your class. You had her cornered like a thirsty penguin on the
fourth of July. She had to keep up the charade and go through
with your 'date'.
But of course she was simply putting off the inevitable
rejection. She kept hoping you would get the idea she's not into
you in that special way. But you didn't want to take any hints.
You were persistent. Eventually she had to reject you. Usually
this involves her leaving an embarrassed voicemail after you
embossed your feelings for all time in a ten-line sonata. And now
you have spent so much time and mental energy on her that you
feel devastated. Is that how it goes?"
Beethoven: "Pretty much yeah.......

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Wow that was really good. You do realize Interceptor that you threw the whole thread off-topic.

How can a woman be so stupid that she doesn't understand that a man wanting to spend some one on one time with her over a meal and conversation is not an indicator of romantic intention? That is exactly what happened to me last Saturday. I bet she had no idea that we were on a date until a couple of days later when she decided to not return any phone calls. I never once called it a date, I never kissed her and I never told her I wanted to fvck her. I never told her that I liked or even had any interest in her besides the constant light kino and me trying to get to know more about her.

I would assume that when I invited somebody to have lunch or dinner with me over the weekend that she would be smart enough to know that I'm asking her out. But I guess thats not the case. Should I be inviting them out to dinner and breakfast? Should I grab her ass when I pick her up?

kdnash82 said:

How in the world can you be both shy and confident when an antonym of shy is confident?

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Shyness really has to do with other ppl, whilst as Keto said, confidence tends to be about oneself.

I don't act shy, but I am. I don't trust ppl easily, and I have a hard time talking to random ppl, but I have gotten to where I am good at it. Noone believes I am shy anymore, but its an inside thing anyways. And of course the self confidence helps me to pull it off.

I have days where I avoid all ppl, just because it can be too much. Thats why I am always on here!

I am extremely confident about myself, though, and my abilities. That has nothing to do with shyness around other ppl. I might be hesitant to get to know someone, but that doesn't mean I lack confidence.

As a matter of fact, it can suck being a confident shy person, because since I don't come across as insecure or not confident, instead of ppl thinking maybe I am shy, they assume I am stuck up when I don't speak randomly to random ppl. Which I don't get anyways...

Confident, but shy? Not possible, I'm affraid.

I think the term is 'quietly confident'... Completely different.

You guys might be confusing 'shy' with 'harmless.'
I've never seen a girl hook up with someone who I would actually consider as shy. Shy is a social weakness and not a good characteristic to have.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=130121

Similar thread a while back.

As everyone else has pointed out, you cannot be both shy and confident. Words mean what they mean. You can be quietly confident, with no need to show-off, but that's not shyness.

If like iqqi, you aren't confident around other people, your 'self-confidence' (is there any other kind?) is low. Other people, who can handle or excel in social situations have more confidence than you. Perhaps you mean self-belief - but again, if you have so little that other people make you nervous, you score relatively low in that area too.

And women do not find shyness attractive. Some go for quiet types, though they are often the uggoes. Women are always subconciously looking for qualities in a man that will favour their offspring, and shyness is a major disadvantage. So get confident stupid!

I currently had a girl that wanted to have sex with me and steal me from my girlfriend, that said taht she wanted a boyfriend that would be very strongwilled and very controlling.

I am strong willed and will do what I WANT to do, but I am the least controlling person that you will ever meet. She wanted to lose her virginity to me.

Women say one thing and do another. Attraction is not a choice for most people.

comic_relief