Hey guys,

Recently I just got word that this girl at my work supposedly likes me. She's 19 and I'm 30 . At first I blew it off but I changed my mind because I actually think sh'es pretty cool and at this point wouldn't mind seeing what happens, plus I'm not looking for anything serious.

Anyway at work there's always been flirting and kino between us. My coworker said she likes me and wanted me to ask her out as in OUT> I brought it to her and said I was interested as well and said I'm cool with it if she is.

She then told me she's not to sure becaues we work together. Then the age difference, then said we can talk about it on the weekend when we double dated w/ another couple.

Anyways the weekend comes and she brings her friend along. Which pretty much threw everything off. I felt pretty awkward the whole night. I know girls play games but I'm not to sure what to think.

A couple of things ran through my head

1)She thinks I'm probably going to "try something"

2)She sending a subtle message that she wants to just be friends

3)She is young a little immature and was probably nervous.

I don't really know what to make of it because there's been really good vibes (kino wise) and that night there was nothing nor did she initiate likes she's done before.

So is it worth it to pursue her, or is she a waste of time probably because she's not even sure of what she wants herself.

My friend said she was probably just a little nervous.

Sorry for the long post guys.

dude, the moment she started to throw out hesitation with stuff like 'we work together, our age difference, etc." you should have taken control.

you should have said 'none of that stuff bothers me. does it bother you?"

at which point she's either in, or she's out. a 19 year old chic will assume she's behaving like a 'kid' by disagreeing with you. it should be a joke to get them to do whatever the hell you want.

as for double dating with a 19 year old, this is nuts. i've said it a million times, a 19 year is good for one thing and one thing only - as a f*ck toy.

first off they've got 5-10 years to kill screwing around. for them they will settle down with you for 3 years then dump your ass when you are 33. and they are 22. they still have LOTS of time to recover.

second, they are completely immature. some of them think they are mature, but at 19 you don't know who you are yet. heck, you've only just started to figure it out.

anyway, my view is that dating chics under 25 in terms of wanting a mature relationship from them is asking for disaster.

you should consider them good for one thing and one thing only - as f*ck toys.

Thanks bro,

Anyways, I told her up front that I'm not looking for anything serious. So she knows the deal and I did tell her that I got no problems that we work together b/c I don't plan on telling anyone b/c I don't want anyone to know.

So on both fronts she knows where I stand.

Yep, I'm all about the younger ladies, but the younger they go the tougher it's gonna be on most levels. At that age you need a VERY sexual vibe between the two of you, and as Joe said.....it should be sex ONLY. Trust me, you don't want to be meeting the parents of a 19 yr old.

The other day a little cutey came into my store and i was helping her out. She said it was her birthday. She said she's going to be 20, and her dad is next door and he's coming over in a minute to pick out some things for her birthday gift.

I was TOTALLY vibing this girl, then the dad comes over, all 6'6" of him, probably about 5 years older than me, and BAM, it was like the guy sensed I was getting along a little too well with his daughter and he pulled her out of the store, the chick looking back at me with a sad look on her face.

And what the hell are you doing going on a double date? Just a DATE is bad enough! It's either one on one "hanging out" or a group thing. nothing in between.

oh by the way, are you sure she's 19? she's not just saying she's 19 when in reality she's 16 or something right?

be careful with that sh*t. ask to see her drivers license

This sounds like an old 19 y.o. girlfriend of mine (when I was 38 .) She was sending me mixed signals like she wasn't looking for anything serious, didn't want to get married until she would be 30, low interest body language, saying that I reminded her of her father, etc. All the while she was very interested in me, always calling/texting me.

It's like Rollo Tomassi always says - judge her by her actions, not her words. If she is letting the word out that she is interested in you, that means a lot more than whatever BS she's telling you. Also, having her friends meet you is a good thing, as she is trying to get a second opinion.

Dating a 19 year old at work?

Sorry, that's serious trouble.

First of all you made a mistake by agreeing to go out on a double date with a 19 year old girl. You should have isolated her and went out with her alone. This way you could truly get to know her and talk to her. Another thing is 19 year old girls are very heavily influenced by there friends. If there friend thinks your a loser, there is a chance she would not talk to you again.

If I were you I would ask her out again. This time make sure its one on one, And make a move. If you see that you are clicking with this girl. Just go for it. Believe me there are plenty of hot 19 year olds. To the guys that say she is too young, I say so what she is legal. You don't have to marry this girl. Just go out and have fun.

I do agree that 99% if 19 year old girls are to immature for a 30 year old man, but you never know. Remember your a DJ. Part of being a DJ is doing what you want to do and not giving a fvck about what people think about you.


She's an adult go for it and give us an update

fuzzx you and I have different mindsets and goals. Yeah you going into the date looking for a LTR didn't help you.

Another thing is that it seems your maturity level is too high for her and maybe most people her age. I live with my grandmother, I go to Jr. College, and I'm trying to get a retail job. If somebody was told those things about me they would assume that I was between 18 and 23. Based upon my maturity and life experiences I am not 26. Put me in a date or at least a real conversation with a woman who is 24 and up and I'll be in trouble. Most likely she would have already graduated college and is working on her career and those are things I can't relate to.

But I can and do relate to the women that are 18-22 as they are going through the same things I am. It all boils down to the commonalities between you. If there are none then the relationship can only be based on sex. And frankly I think it's a little creepy when guys 35+ are going for the 19 year old girls.

Honestly, messing around with a woman you work with can REALLY end up sucking. Even if it's a "clean break", you still have to see her every now and then. Plus every time you come into work, you end up thinking about her. Try to date outside of work.

That being said, if you want to take a shot, take it. Don't sit there and make excuses.

joekerr31 said:

dude, the moment she started to throw out hesitation with stuff like 'we work together, our age difference, etc." you should have taken control.

you should have said 'none of that stuff bothers me. does it bother you?"

at which point she's either in, or she's out. a 19 year old chic will assume she's behaving like a 'kid' by disagreeing with you. it should be a joke to get them to do whatever the hell you want.

as for double dating with a 19 year old, this is nuts. i've said it a million times, a 19 year is good for one thing and one thing only - as a f*ck toy.

first off they've got 5-10 years to kill screwing around. for them they will settle down with you for 3 years then dump your ass when you are 33. and they are 22. they still have LOTS of time to recover.

second, they are completely immature. some of them think they are mature, but at 19 you don't know who you are yet. heck, you've only just started to figure it out.

anyway, my view is that dating chics under 25 in terms of wanting a mature relationship from them is asking for disaster.

you should consider them good for one thing and one thing only - as f*ck toys.

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100% agreed. There is a huge maturity gap between an 18-20 year old and someone 25 or older. I tell my younger friends this all the time but they dont get it.

I actually hooked up with a 19 year old a month or so ago, but it was purley sexual. I had zero interest in her outside of a late-night pal. I lost interest after a couple nights.

Dude, do NOT get involved with someone at work! End of Story. I think someone posted something about the economics of attraction the other day. I didn't read it so it may not apply to what I'm getting at. But the point is women aren't so scarce a commodity that you need to get involved at work. If you carry around a scarcity mindset then you will always be in danger of being needy or clingy. Not to mention how awkward things can become at work.

The age isn't the problem here, it's the fact that she's at your work.

Colossus said:

100% agreed. There is a huge maturity gap between an 18-20 year old and someone 25 or older. I tell my younger friends this all the time but they dont get it.
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well you know what they say, the older you get the wiser you get, and the wiser you get the more you realize just how little you actually know.

this is why people who know a lot are humble, because they realize no matter how much they know there is always more to know.

whereas a 19 year old thinks they know everything - because in reality they know almost nothing. when you don't know anything its very easy to think you know it all.

Yeah they are weird.

Just an update. I should have mentioned that that the "double date" was w/ two people we work with and we planned it a couple of days ahead.

Its beena while since and since that night she has been very standoffish but still nice to me (she has no reason not to I'm still very nice to her).

Now, this week she is starting to flirt w/ me again. Wer'e verbally sparring with eachother and now shes doing the same things as before kino wise. Like putting her head on my shoulder, tickling my leg etc.

I mentioned this to my frined and coworker, and says the reason she was like that on the "date" is because the night before when I brought up the issue of "us" she thought I was acting weird by trying to seat her on my lap or I was too aggressive.

Whatever, everybody who knows me knows that is NOT my style. I simply held her around her waist. I didn't think it was that big of a deal but she thought it was out of the ordinary for some reason. I don't get it. But she seems to be doing similar stuff as she was before. I'm thinking about going for her again, but I'll be wise this time and be more patient and see what happens.

Although I met a new 24 year old girl last week, and things seem to be going good so far. What a difference between the two. the 24 year old knows pretty much what she wants. So I hope this one pans out because she is very hot.