I've been thinking recently about the meaning of life in general, and have been thinking of it in terms of one big puzzle. A puzzle, in which, perhaps, we all have a little piece of it. As we grow older, life experiences have changed our view on life, and with the good and the bad, these experiences have one way shaped who we are as a person.

With all the knowledge here on the mature man forum, I'd like to propose a challenge for each of us to share one of those experiences.

An experience, that has made a difference in your life for the positive.

So, to take a risk and share something personal about myself, which I haven't done much here...here's a life changing experience of mine:

Several years ago I used to be a volunteer firefighter. I remember this like it was yesterday. I joined to get involved with the community and help people. After a couple of months on the department, I had just completely my medical training and the department cleared me to run on medical calls.

That same night I was on shift at the firehouse and my chief said to me, "you can run on medicals now, are you ready?" I said "yes sir, I'm ready"

Well, the night was slow and no calls. Eventually, everyone went off to their rooms to grab some sleep. I remember lying there looking at the radio and thinking that it could go off at any time and we would be called into action. I tossed and turned but finally went to sleep.

Then it happened..at 4am the radio went off dispatching us to a call for a 40yo woman with 'difficulty breathing'. My first call as a firefighter. Everyone jumped out of sleep and rushed downstairs to the engine without saying a word. We arrived on scene before the paramedics in the ambulance did, and what we found was not a woman having difficulty breathing, but a woman who was lying lifeless in her bed.

Seeing a lifeless body is shocking for the first time, especially when you aren't expecting it.

We began CPR, the paramedics arrived, and I found myself performing CPR bouncing around in an ambulance rushing her to the hospital. By the time we got to the hospital and rushed her into the ER, she had a pulse and was breathing.

My chief said to me, "great job Mr.P! that was a good save." I remember at the moment I felt on top of the world. I had saved a life! I did my job well, what I was trained to do, and I really made a difference.

Later that morning, I called the hospital to find out how the woman was doing. To check up on her. The nurse told me over the phone that the woman had passed away, and there was nothing they could do.

Well, that news just shattered me. I really questioned my abilities, I asked why, when we 'did everything right' did it not work out. I almost quit the department because of this.

I talked to this same chief about my concerns, and he helped me realize something..

That being a firefighter is not about being a hero, it's not about saving a life. It's about giving a 100% at what you are doing, it's about teamwork, because as individuals, we can't always save the world.

All we can do is do the best that we can in this life, WITHOUT any expectations that our actions will produce the ideal outcome.

Because that's what life is, it's about the people around you, working together, trying to achieve something. But then life throws a curve ball, an unexpected, it's how you handle the unexpected, as a team, and focus on the positive of everything.

From that day on, every call I went on as a firefighter I knew I was just doing a job, what I was trained to do. The great thing I learned was it wasn't just about helping people, it was the guy/gal next to you, trying his/her hardest and knowing that that person would sacrifice their life for yours, to pull you out of a burning building if you get hurt or lost in the smoke.

It was the teamwork that matter, the brother/sister mentality...and ironically that same chief later saved my life in a fire. I slipped and was falling through a burning floor when he grabbed me and pulled me out. The 50+ year old guy completely lifted me off the floor, I am still amazed at that.

Anyway, long-winded story, but the important point I wanted to share was outcomes. The exciting thing about life is that we never know what will happen next, so it important not expect a situation will turn out the way we want it.

And you know what, that's ok...as long as you know you gave 100% to what you are doing.

So, I invite you all to share a life changing experience of yours!!

What has made a positive impact on your life, and your views on life?

The meaning of life is to have meaning to your life!! Do something good for humanity!

The meaning of life is an individual thing really.

Some people find no meaning to theirs while others find a meaning.

My life meaning may not be the same as your life meaning etc.

Still to answer your question about a positive life changing experience off the top of my head I guess it would be finding this site.

The information here really has opened my eyes.

Last Man Standing said:

The meaning of life is to have meaning to your life!! Do something good for humanity!

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But how do you know this LMS? We all try our best in life, at least I would think. But, at times, by doing your best for humanity, you experience things that most people don't...or shouldn't. So, you focused on the positive, of your experiences, and that makes the difference.

Yet, it's that feeling of being tired, overall, that gets me sometimes. I feel as though I need to rest. I don't understand that.

Since i can't sleep tonight, I'll bite. I don't necessarily agree with your synopsis that a person learns his or her meaning of life from a life-changing experience, but I do agree with you that sharing life-altering stories can be a good thing. After all, many of us joined SoSuave to relate these kinds of things to others.

My biggest life-changing event took place when I was 17.

I was a late bloomer and had finally had my growth spurt. I had shot up from 5'3 to 5'10; my muscles were starting to become more pronounced, and my face had lost its little-kiddish look. This all took place in literally about a six-month span during my junior year of high school.

Girls had really started to take notice of me, but I was completely oblivious. I remember a specific instance when I was at a movie theater with one of my buddies. Two girls were standing in the lobby about 15 feet away from me. They smiled, waved at me and giggled, whispering in each others' ears. Though, I lacked confidence completely and had never even experienced what it was like to have a girl show interest me. I was always too short and too baby-faced, so I looked away and just assumed they mis-recognized for me someone they knew.

I eventually had my epiphany one afternoon when I was walking down the street in the city I grew up in. I was on my way to our local library to tutor a Hispanic kid who was having trouble with writing and reading comprehension, when I was stopped in the parking lot by a homeless man who was carrying flowers. He pulled me aside and said "Want to buy some flowers for your girlfriend young man?"

I didn't even respond to him. I was in complete shock that someone actually thought I looked like a guy who might have a girlfriend. Before that, the notion of me dating a girl was something I had never even entertained. Prior to that day, I hadn't once considered myself worthy of female companionship.

That was pretty much the first day of the rest of my life. I quit playing video games on the weekends and started taking the two sports I played seriously. I even went to my senior prom.

I don't want to give the impression that the path was cleared for me from that day forward. Those first few years were rocky as hell. During my final two years of high school and my first year of college, I'd spend hours obsessing over my looks any time a girl rejected me or flaked on me. At the time, I just assumed girls were like guys and were only attracted to looks and physical qualities.

Thanks in part to this site and the advice of a really close friend, I realized the error of my thoughts. It dawned on me that I had to become confident and find out who I truly was. I had to quit letting people walk all over me, and I had to find my identity. Six years later, I've figured out who I am, and I'm one of the most confident people I know.

If you want to tie my experience into your post, I guess one of the meanings of my life up until this point is to never allow myself to revert into my old ways even in the slightest bit. Although, I think my mission is over. I don't see myself ever abandoning my confidence.

It's like I always tell my friends. Life way too short for a guy to be anything but confident in himself.

This looks like a perfect candidate for the "anything else" forum.

MikeYikes122 said:

It's like I always tell my friends. Life way too short for a guy to be anything but confident in himself.

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Great nugget of wisdom..

Azanon, you are right, so I'll add more to this so it doesn't get moved to AE..

Where I was going with this, is that we live in a world of expectations. We get up in the morning, and expect our cars to start so we can get to work, we expect to get our paycheck from work. When we go shopping for food let's say, we expect milk/bread to be on the shelves waiting for us..we expect a life of comfort and convenience.

But this is not natural, IMO. The more you expect of something, the less you are prepared to handle the unexpected.

Think road-rage for example, it's always the guy that EXPECTS to get where he's going without any traffic or delays.

So, for us mature guys, we'll apply this to how we handle women.

What I see here a lot is that we expect women to act a certain way, to fit inside a square box of qualities that we feel should define whether a woman is quality, or not quality.

But, because each woman is unique, and each woman has a different set of values and opinions, and behaviors, by stripping away any expectations we have with our interactions with women, we can really see women for who they really are, and whether or not we are compatible.

It's through our expectations, that women do not meet our standards.