Hey,

Anyone have any tips on not giving a sh!t about what people think? I find I'm too concerned about upsetting people and doing the wrong thing in case they end up disliking me. Also I think it stunts me somewhat in social situations as I'm overly concerned about how I come across to people. I used to be pretty bad when I was younger but has improved a lot as I've got older. It's still enough of an issue though to have significance in my life though. Can anyone relate to this? What were ways you managed to get over it?

Cheers,

df

were you raised in a strict household?

people raised in really strict households are generally very aware that they are being judged. they are raised to always be self conscious, because when they aren't they often get in trouble.

when they become adults that behavioral conditioning still persists and they can't just be wild and carefree in public because they think they are being watched and judged by others.

this is why you'll sometimes see a shy person get drunk and start making a total *ss of themsevles. because its only when they are drunk that how they were raised kind of short circuits a bit.

as for not giving a sh*t. well thats a matter of coming to realize that life is short and everyday you spend caring about what some else thinks is a day you aren't living. when you come to see just how true that is, then you'll stop giving a sh*t what others think and it won't require any effort on your part either.

IMHO, the "not giving a sh*t" attitude that is most beneficial, and healthy is simply:

Not seeking validation form anyone.

Not aksing for permission to do healthy, beneficial things for yourself.

Everything else is usually some overly self absorbed, arrogance. Apathy is not conducive to good health, ahappiness, and fulfillment. Especially when the undercurrent is non accpetance, of yourself, and others.

joekerr31 said:

were you raised in a strict household?

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It was quite the opposite I think, I was given a lot of space and freedom to do what I please. There were some rules of course, but it was all pretty relaxed. A few times here and there I did get my ass kicked when I'd stepped out of line but nothing too bad

I'd be inclined to say that if anything in my past had shaped me to be this way, it's likely it was bullying and being made fun of by my brother. He took every opportunity to embarass me in front of friends and call me all the names under the sun, along with physical abuse aswell. I should think this is why I don't like to upset people, get on the wrong side of people and am concerned about what they think about me. Still, it's well in the past and I don't like to dwell on things and point fingers but I'm sure it has affected me somewhat.

joekerr31 said:

as for not giving a sh*t. well thats a matter of coming to realize that life is short and everyday you spend caring about what some else thinks is a day you aren't living. when you come to see just how true that is, then you'll stop giving a sh*t what others think and it won't require any effort on your part either.

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So true... I need to adopt this way of thinking. Thanks for posting.