All of us on here share a common bond in the sense that each of us is here to improve themselves and help each other out through various suggestions. A lot of you on here are familiar with some of the stories I have talked about on the forum in the past. My painful experience with oneitis (my very first post) with a 35 year old woman at my gym who later started bringing her boyfriend there to show me how much I meant nothing to her; the persistent, harsh and rude rejection that I have endured through much of my college life and my life in general here in the United States, etc.


Well, today, I took a chance and did something I haven't done in a while. Because of the many negative outcomes that I have had in my most recent attempts, it's been a long time since I walked up to a woman and approached her on the street. I've been very hesitant for a long time. So today, I took a chance and talked to a woman on the street. I needed to get back into it, so I needed a starting point. Pardon me, but I can't help saying this. This woman was probably in her mid-thirties or at least 40, but looked really good. Man, her ass was so big and it shook in these big, black dress pants she wore with a green blouse. I think she had just gotten off from work. I caught up with her, introduced myself and we began talking. I gave her one or two compliments as we walked together and I tried to get to know her as well. I also teased her about what a nice ass she had. But before we parted, after I told her I would like to take her out some time and to get to know her a bit better, she said "nah, but it was nice talking to you." She told me after I spoke to her a little more following that, that she was taken/seeing someone else.

Whether or not she was telling the truth didn't really bother me. The most important thing was that I felt better having tried, because there are many men out there who wouldn't have tried. I did notice before I was talking to her that she seemed to be text messaging someone and that her phone beeped a few times as we walked, so maybe it has nothing to do with me, but whether or not it does, I don't really care. Although as a man, rejection from a woman you find attractive does hurt, and it still did in this case because I have feelings, the effect on me for some reason today was so minimal that it really didn't bother me. All of a sudden, just because of starting over again today, I look at it now more as a numbers game and the "no" from this woman on the street motivates me to continue until I get a possible "yes" from another. Talking to women on the street is a lot of hard work.


Interestingly, she and I were quite a contrast in terms of build. I looked like a skinny dude compared to her. She was about 5'10, 274-283lbs (almost nearing 300lbs) and although I ignored them, I couldn't help but notice the folks looking at us who walked toward our direction, as they probably noticed the contrast. The look in some men's eyes seemed to be along the lines of: "Man, this dude must have some amazing courage to pursue a woman so much in contrast to him." I've talked to another woman with the same build in the past who did tell me she was attached as well but that if she weren't, she would have been happy to hook up with me. The most important thing is I'm happy to have found that one opportunity to get me back into talking to women on the street.

Re:

At least she was big but not fat, and an attractive one. I sometimes like the ones who have those really huge asses to the point where their pants are really big, as was the case with this one and another I had talked to in the past. If I were dancing in a club with such a woman, I'd bump and grind with her really hard.

DAYUM....

Sorry dude, but 300lbs is FAT.

More power to ya though!

frank,

congrats for cold approaching. keep it up!

unlike women, men can't just sit back and wait for women to approach. thats just reality.

men HAVE to be hunters if they want to eat.

if you have high self confidence, then rejection doesn't hurt at all. its like you say, its a numbers game.

guys want women to basically wear a sign saying 'please ask me out', but women don't do that. women have it easy, they just walk through life, flirt with any guy they interact with, some of them ask them out, and then they decide whether to go out with them or not.

but men HAVE to hunt. if you don't hunt, the game is over before its even started.

NEVER EVER feel badly about 'skirt chasing'. i wish i had known this when i was younger. i was so self conscious about how i came off when i hit on women. now, i don't care at all. i dont care if i get rejection or what she thinks of me.

all you can do is throw the spear, if the buffalo gets away, so be it. on to the next one. eventually you'll get your kill.

on a side note, if she was 300lbs, thats obese for a woman. but in reading your post that also made me think of something kind of interesting. its strange how we often go against what would be in our offsprings interest. like im attracted to slim petite women - but when you think about it, thats not good if i were to have children as my male offspring would be smaller as a result of her genes.

what i should be looking for is a tall, athletic woman so that my male offspring will have strong genes that will lead to them being bigger and stronger.

Yeeah there's nothing healthy about a 300 pound woman. I don't care how tall she is.

Props for approaching though.

Frank2500 said:

Interestingly, she and I were quite a contrast in terms of build. I looked like a skinny dude compared to her. She was about 5'10, 274-283lbs (almost nearing 300lbs) and although I ignored them, I couldn't help but notice the folks looking at us who walked toward our direction, as they probably noticed the contrast.

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I'm trying to figure out how a 274# woman could be anything remotely attractive. :woo:

Re:

Damn, guys...maybe it's just me, but I can assure you that in my opinion, this woman wasn't fat at all. I don't go for fat/obese women. Maybe I might have exaggerated her weight/size a little bit. Let me put it this way. She was huge, big in the big sense, but not fat. And trust me, she was very pretty facially. I don't go for women with big stomachs and guts and all that stuff, when it comes to personal preference. This woman had none of that, but she was big, incredibly nice ass that shook in her big pants, etc.


To skirtchaser, in response to your question, probably not, because I just have a weakness and preference for women with naturally big butts. I don't find a woman with a flat ass attractive. Plus, I don't live in a village. I live in the city of Philadelphia (it says it right there beneath my user name) and even in my country, I was born and raised in a big city. I didn't live in a village. Be careful about the negative and stereotypical pictures of Africa that are constantly bombarded by the mainstream media to make people think that there aren't any cities in any countries on that continent and that most of its people are primitive, starving individuals. I hope that your question was asked out of genuine curiosity and not otherwise. I'm also starting to get a bit tired of the dating game here in Philadelphia. I know it's pretty much the same in every city, but a lot of the women down here in Pennsylvania just seem to be particularly shallow and not very polite, so many times you have to be really firm and hard in dealing with them.


I agree that compared to us men, women have it a lot easier because there's always going to be some guy hitting on every woman. Some of us on the other hand have to sometimes sit around being single for years and years. There's one thing that amazes me, though. It always seems as if more often than not, it is the women who you may not personally find attractive who might sometimes show obvious signs of interest in you. The ones you really want, even if they may like you too, rarely ever seeem to show you that obvious green light.

LOL he said 300lbs!! :crackup: :crackup: This has to be a troll.

Re:

To the poster who goes by the username "squirrels," with all due respect to you, I hope that you're not taking it personal with me and I don't appreciate you trying to label me a troll because I'm not. I would like to believe that you can read. In my most recent response, I said that I may have exaggerated the woman's description in terms of weight. No matter what you may think, you weren't there to see the woman, so do not make any assumptions. Most important, every man has his own preference when it comes to women. What you or someone else may not find attractive may not necessarily be the case for another. I would hope that you will learn to respect that and I ask you politely not to direct any personal attacks at me. Thanks.

Frank2500 said:

To the poster who goes by the username "squirrels," with all due respect to you, I hope that you're not taking it personal with me and I don't appreciate you trying to label me a troll because I'm not. I would like to believe that you can read. In my most recent response, I said that I may have exaggerated the woman's description in terms of weight. No matter what you may think, you weren't there to see the woman, so do not make any assumptions. Most important, every man has his own preference when it comes to women. What you or someone else may not find attractive may not necessarily be the case for another. I would hope that you will learn to respect that and I ask you politely not to direct any personal attacks at me. Thanks.

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300lbs isn't exaggeration. It's hyperbole. There is no attractive woman who weighs 300 pounds. And to anyone who can prove me wrong, I will pay you $20.00.

Frank,

I know you are not a troll and i enjoy reading your posts. You write well and though for the life of me I don't understand your obsession with big butts lol (give me a nice small round but on a 115 pound girl anyday) but if that makes you happy then great!

As for your women and approaching problems. Ok this may sound bad, and believe me I hope you do not take this as racist because I do not want it to sound this way at all ok? Like I said you are one of the few posters on here I enjoy reading.

Anyway, I think with you being a large black man, African, and I know you work out as well so I'm sure this only adds to this, but with all of that going on, there is no doubt in my mind that you are going to intimidate the average american white girl. If you just randomly approach them in a grocery store or wherever, 9 out of 10 are going to be nervous, some downright scared lol. Sorry to say but that is just our culture, and with you being so large, that will only add to that.


Have you ever tried hitting on larger black women?? I think they might be more appreciative of your assets so to speak lol.

Best of luck to you!

I know where Frank is comin from about likin chics with big asses...my gf has a larger bum, and i can't get enough of it:

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m91/Treydesmon/omp056.jpg

Given that...300 lbs is a bit much bro. You shouldn't pursue women that weigh more than you...that's just my opinion! Still I think you totally deserve credit for doing a cold approach like that on the street. THat took testicular fortitude and guts. I've never done a cold approach like that on the street, so I must give you credit.

Frank2500 said:

She was about 5'10, 274-283lbs (almost nearing 300lbs)

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Wow Frank, looks like asses aren't the only things you like big.

Just kidding... whatever floats your boat.

Hey, Frank.

Dude, do you have any hobbies?

I mean, what do you do?

hopeful loner said:

Rejection will ALWAYS hurt. Or, it will always effect you in some way.

If you approach a woman with the intention of picking her up/getting her interested in you/etc--then you put yourself out there and made yourself open. You've made an offer, and it is silly to pretend that the rejection of that offer won't hurt.

This is why I believe sites such as this teach men unrealistic things. It's better to accept that there will be hurt but that, eventually, you get numb to it--and even if you don't get numb to it that hurt is minimal and not ever lasting.

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wow, at 22 you know it all. amazing. :kick:

Nice story even though everybody focused on her weight.

I still can't get used to the idea of cold approaching somebody the first time I've seen them. Going after somebody who is walking is even more work.

Re:

Talking to women on the street has worked for me in the past. About three times or so, I have gotten e-mail addresses or phone numbers. I really don't think I'm that big at all, folks...for these women to be scared of me like that. I mean...I'm only 6'0 177-180lbs. I don't know if the main thing could be because I may have gotten quite huge of course from working out and drinking those protein shakes-and my chest has gotten quite big from the regular chest exercises. Also, I work out my arms a lot, so many people who notice me tend to comment on my biceps for some reason, especially when I wear T-shirts.

I guess it's a no-win situation. When I was skinny, a lot of those same women didn't respect me and dismissed me as a potential mate. Now, I seem to scare them. When it comes to some of these white ladies though, I really don't get it sometimes myself. Sometimes they would look at you when you walk past them on the street as if it is a look of admiration, but if you try to approach them, it seems like a different thing. I'd rather stay the way I am than go back to being skinny. And I would like to think that a big white woman like the one I talked to yesterday (again, I think I exaggerated her weight) wouldn't feel intimidated by me.


And finally to Interceptor, I have many hobbies-weight lifting of course is one of them; I'm a journalist, so I love to write. I'm also an aspiring model and actor, so I love to watch movies, check out auditions and go to casting calls when I can, play the piano, cook, go to lounges/clubs once in a while to dance and listen to music, dine out, etc. But I haven't been in the night scene for so long because I live in the suburbs and no longer have a car.

Ok my bad frank for some reason I was under the impression you were like 6'5" and 240. Hmmm. With your height and weight that shouldn't be a problem.

Maybe you could post a pic and we could help you out style wise?

Re:

Well, like I did mention a few weeks ago, for personal reasons of privacy, I don't feel very comfortable posting my pictures on here. That said, I don't think style is a problem for me at all. I've always been a very stylish and well-dressed person. In fact, during the days when I was much skinnier, it was my sense of style that used to get me noticed by many women. I used to dress a lot more corporate when I had a full-time job, but now that I'm still kinda job searching since graduation, I've gone back to dressing somewhat casual. So typically, I would wear for example jeans, a T-shirt, sneakers and a baseball hat. Most of the time during the week, I go to the gym, so I don't see a reason why I would have to dress too formal just to go to the gym afterward.

I also don't think my attitude has anything to do with it because I do have confidence when I do approach a woman. I do agree that to an extent, maybe style may make a difference, but no matter how well-dressed you may be, if a woman is indeed taken and in a serious relationship or if for whatever superficial personal reason she thinks you're not the kind of guy she would go for, the outcome of your attempt isn't going to change much at all. Trust me, when I mean to be stylish, women can't help but notice it. Before I graduated, when I had a full-time job at my university while in grad school, there wasn't a single day that I would walk into the computer lab without the female students there turning their heads. Even my former supervizor commended me on my sense of style.


But I get the point that you guys are making. Maybe to a lot of these women so far, the white ones in particular, my casual dressing seems to give them the impression that I am one of the "thuggish" black men and they get scared. Yet at the same time and ironically, these same sort of women have passed me over in the past for not seeming to fit that rather negative stereotype. It was as if they didn't know how to respond to me when they realized that I didn't feet the stereotypical impressions they had of black men and the sort black men they may have wanted-expecting me to be predisposed to violence, to be loud, rebellious, etc.

I Wanted to Share Something Interesting

I wanted to share something with you guys and I'm glad I remembered. I won't be surprised if some of you may have experienced it as well. Infact, it might make some of you guys laugh. You know how it is generally said that for some reason, when you're growing, (in terms of body build/muscularly) you don't really see it as much as strangers and outsiders. When I go out to eat lunch at buffets and there are people standing across from me in line waiting to go to the table and pick up their plates, I normally would of course let the folks standing ahead of me in line to go forward. But they often would stop, look at me as if saying to themselves silently, "Man, let's allow this big fella to go up to the table first and get his food."

At other times, I would be standing in line waiting to get on the bus and even men and women who are bigger than me and who were ahead of me in line would allow me to get on first before them. It's just interesting. This never seemed to happen to me during my skinny days.