Let's just say the significant other is showing the signs of putting on a few pounds. It's been strictly out of our habits as of late. I had back surgery a couple of months ago and it's been pretty rough and to say the least, we've gotten lazy and have been eating alot. A very sedative lifestyle, so say the least, but not by choice. And she's been there with me the entire time.

Well, I'm back ready to go, getting back in shape and made a few wise cracks about my gf's weight. I've been around long enough to know that was a mistake, and only causes resentment.

The question is how to get girls to lose weight. I've read articles that say spouse's and such are more prone to be healthy when the other one is, and that's been the trend in our relationship. If I get in shape, she usually does. So I guess I answered my own question. Then again I have my neighbor's wife, who thinks she's hot as h*ll, but she is actually fat as h*ll. I think alot of women are in denial about how they really look.

Any of you married fellas gotten success by other means. I know, I know, I have to get myself back up to par for her to want to. But you get my drift. And surgery is not something you can recover overnight from. RTomassi, you say you and your wife stay in pretty good shape, what's the secret to letting them know they are getting bigger while they think at the same time you're just being mean?

i really don't understand why men 'kid' about their woman's weight to their woman. making cracks about her weight is about the dumbest thing any guy can do.

think about if your gf came up to you after you got out of the shower, looked at your penis, then made a crack 'at least it can't get any smaller.'

when you make a crack about a woman's weight, its as harsh and uncalled for as a woman making a crack about a man's penis.

as for how do you help her. well, provided you haven't stomped her self esteem into the ground yet (and thereby removing all positive energy she might have to use to lose weight), the best way is to simply take up some exercises you can do together.

go for a bike ride once a day or something. turn the exercise into bonding time (chics love that).

if she's just adamant about NOT changing her lifestyle, then jsut leave her be. in time as you get into better shape she'll get concerned that she'll end up losing you as you get healthier and she gets fatter. at which point she will start exercising.

but i'll say this again for all guys on here - NEVER make fun of your woman's weight. EVER.

it doesn't mean you can't talk to her about it. but NEVER joke about it. if you knew how much it upset a woman to hear that stuff, you wouldn't say it.

joekerr31 said:

if she's just adamant about NOT changing her lifestyle, then jsut leave her be. in time as you get into better shape she'll get concerned that she'll end up losing you as you get healthier and she gets fatter. at which point she will start exercising.

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This is how it's normally went down. Hard for me to do now. Rehab Progress is like a turtle right now. But I'll get there.

Yeah I know I made a mistake with that wise crack. And she's not even that bad, but I look at her lazy ass mom (which she's nothing like) and can't help but think, ya know. And her mom really is in denial, she thinks she looks good, wears tight clothes and looks ridiculous.

The question is how to get girls to lose weight.

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You don't..YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO CONVINCE ANYONE TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES. If she doesn't make a strong effort on her own to become healthy its not your job to play babysitter, don't be a pussy..Be a man and walk away..leave the relationship, her laziness is a sign of worse things to come.

..and why are you mentioning other women and their business for, how does their self esteem affect you ??? quit being a drama queen..mind your own shit and stop running your mouth.

Drum&Bass said:

You don't..YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO CONVINCE ANYONE TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES. If she doesn't make a strong effort on her own to become healthy its not your job to play babysitter, don't be a pussy..Be a man and walk away..leave the relationship, her laziness is a sign of worse things to come.

..and why are you mentioning other women and their business for, how does their self esteem affect you ??? quit being a drama queen..mind your own shit and stop running your mouth.

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Don't bother replying to my posts anymore. Seriously, you're an idiot.

Joekerr is right about the bike ride a day idea and exercise type activities in general you both can do together.

My aunt and uncle used to horribly be out of shape being massively overweight with joint pain and all but they joined weight watchers together and began thinking of ways to exercise together.

They came up with biking and started doing this together at nights and my uncle uses his treadmill like a fiend.

They are now in the greatest shape of their lives.

They both still haven't conquered their food addictions and still at times eat like fiends and gain 10 or 20lbs but I gotta give em credit as when that happens they reverse course and begin dieting again and burn it all off.

joekerr31 said:

i really don't understand why men 'kid' about their woman's weight to their woman. making cracks about her weight is about the dumbest thing any guy can do. ...

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Hallelujah brother. :rockon: If anything that would make a woman put on more weight, that would. I say even before beginning to exercise together, change their eating habits together; cook healthy meals together even. Use that as a catalyst to suggest doing active things together.

fuzzx said:

You should never have to because it never works.... I thought that strategy about changing my lifestyle and getting in shape would make the ex want to... nope. She slowly became more and more allergic to sunlight... her head started to hurt from always walking, her skin was agitated to go outside with me to throw a frisbee... Sorry guys... but the man speaks the truth.


Being fat is no joke, its disgusting! If you have to make fun of her weight its a sign that its time to leave the relationship. She's only getting bigger.


The only idiot here is you speed dawg.

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Women are obssessive about THINKING and WORRYING about their weight.
It is one of the "market markers" that they use to measure their social value to men. The problem is that only a courageous few actually DO something meaningful about it. Getting the latest hair "do " is so much easier and more fun - so that is why you often see fatties with nice hair.

joekerr31 said:

i really don't understand why men 'kid' about their woman's weight to their woman. making cracks about her weight is about the dumbest thing any guy can do.

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You mean a "MOOO" when she opens the fridge is inappropriate?

speed dawg said:

Don't bother replying to my posts anymore. Seriously, you're an idiot.

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Yea, isn't it a shame this ass clown doesn't post here a little more?

joekerr31 said:

but i'll say this again for all guys on here - NEVER make fun of your woman's weight. EVER.

it doesn't mean you can't talk to her about it. but NEVER joke about it. if you knew how much it upset a woman to hear that stuff, you wouldn't say it.

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I dated a girl for 3 year who was rail thin. one of those types who could eat a whole pizza and a box of oreos and never gain a pound (or throw it all back up.) So i thought i be able to get away with calling her "fattie" as a joke.

Didn't work! :nono:

Even skinny girls who couldn't get fat if they ate every second of the day will still freak out when you kid about it.

I called a skinny girl skinny once, and she got pissed! It was just as bad as calling a fat girl fat.

Joeker is right, the weight is off-limits. You can lead by example, and show her that you can get another women, making her work to keep you. That's about it. Once you even joke about her weight, your sex life will start to go downhill, and none of us want that.

fuzzx said:

its time to leave the relationship

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Yes, I guess I should dump my fiance because she gained 5 lbs. That's not extreme or anything.

Bigger question is why do you want to be married at age 26?

The age range 18-30 and perhaps to 35 you're in the prime of your singlehood and women are in their prime from 18-30.

Drum&Bass said:

You don't..YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO CONVINCE ANYONE TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES. If she doesn't make a strong effort on her own to become healthy its not your job to play babysitter, don't be a pussy..Be a man and walk away..leave the relationship, her laziness is a sign of worse things to come.

..and why are you mentioning other women and their business for, how does their self esteem affect you ??? quit being a drama queen..mind your own shit and stop running your mouth.

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I LOVE this point.

I had a similar issue with my gf and it lead to a fight. She's blessed with exceptional genetics, and doesnt' have to work out to look good, but I told her how important a really healthy lifestyle is to me, and nagged her to work out and eat better.

In the end she started working out secretly behind my back and basically ended up surprising me with it. I think Drum&Bass nailed it right on the head!

You think she's fat now? She's in her 20's and getting chunky ... that doesn't bode well for the future.

WestCoaster said:

You think she's fat now? She's in her 20's and getting chunky ... that doesn't bode well for the future.

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Maybe. I knew the question would get hit hard in here with the "end the relationship", "you have bigger problems", etc. Yeah, I do have bigger problems. I have 3 herniated discs in my back.

Really not so serious. It's really me wanting to nip it before it starts. Like I said, alot of women seriously think they look good when they don't, but I still don't understand why telling them this pisses them off so much. My girl is still pretty hot, but she's human, like all of your girls/wives/etc. It's a process, if they gain a small amount, and you don't put an end to it, they think they look fine and before you know it it's 50 lbs. and they still think they're hot.

I've seen it go down too many times before.

Why do you want to get married at age 26?

Like I said, alot of women seriously think they look good when they don't, but I still don't understand why telling them this pisses them off so much.

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What do you think you will solve ? If someone feels good about themselves no matter what they look like who are you to run your mouth about whether or not you find them attractive.

if they gain a small amount, and you don't put an end to it, they think they look fine and before you know it it's 50 lbs. and they still think they're hot.

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How do you intend to put an end to it ?? why would you come on a message board looking for a way to become manipulative ?

The real issue isn't about you trying to get your girl to lose weight, ITS YOUR WEAKNESS, STUPIDITY AND LOW SELF ESTEEM.

I still can't get an answer on why he wants to be married at 26, unless he found a Marilyn Monroe clone who is also a graduate of an elite culinary school and can cook like no tomorrow as well as deliver the goods in the bedroom.

Youth is wasted on the young.