I've been seeing this one girl about a month now, we meet up once or twice a week and there's always some messing around and lately I've had no trouble getting her pants off once we're alone. The only thing we actually have not done is sex, and I'm having trouble with finding responses to these shoot downs. Some advice would really be appreciated, as I have fun with this girl and I really want to open her up to this.

standard "I'm not ready" I have no idea what to say to this one, or to do. it's just too vague for me to handle. actually, this sums up all the shoot downs. She's vague with the reasons why and her protests are weak and disconnected. I just don't get it.

"my body wants you but my mind doesn't" I'm ashamed to put this one up here. I think avoiding her for a week or so would get rid of this one, but I'd like to know what you guys think first.

She brings these out while she's buck a55 naked and grinding against me, so it's clearly mixed messaging, I just don't know if she's playing me or just really fvcked in the head. I'd like some experienced insight to help light my way.

I usually push forward in those cases and just take the cookie ... slight resistence OK, anti slut defense, rape fantasy, wants to be taken who knows, seems normal for some chicks to just throw out resistence ..... you should be able to tell the difference between a no and NO

you're naked ..she's naked ....hmmmm I would say you just need to take that cookie .....

pull away for a week and you might lose this one ....

:rockon:

a variety of things are likely going on...

1) she is getting as much or more pleasure out of teasing you than she would get from the actual sex

2) she enjoys having power over you. you desperating wanting to bang her and her decided when she will let you do that. once she lets you bang her she knows that power is gone. she may not be ready to let go of that power yet. remember, nothing feels better to a woman more than knowing a man WANTS her - its a total ego rush and its what they live for. they enjoy / want that 100 times more than the actual sex.

3) somewhere along the lines shes been conditioned to believe that the harder you play to get the more a man will want you. Or that once you give it up, a man starts to appreciate you less.

4) your behaving like an AFC and letting her get away with atrocious behavior.

lets be clear about this... a woman who gets naked and rubs up all on you but then doesn't give you sex is committing atrocious behavior.

its the equivalent of sitting a hungry man down at a table, laying out a banquet of his favourite foods in front of him, and then saying "sorry, you can't eat any of those things. but here are some apples and carrots you can eat."

and you, being an AFC, sit there chewing on carrots, looking at a table of chicken, apple pie, ice cream, etc. gnashing your teeth and turning to us asking us "why won't she let me eat the apple pie and stuff?"

the reason is that she enjoys watching you desperately want to eat the apple pie but only being allowed to eat carrots. she enjoys watching you suffer and she enjoys knowing that SHE is the one who has the power to end your suffering by deciding when she will let you eat the banquet.

so you basically have two choices here...

1) keep eating carrots until she decides you can eat applie pie, ice cream, etc.

2) get the f*ck up from the table and go eat somewhere else.

i personally suggest you take #2.

as for the advice to push through her refusal to have sex.... i suppose it could work, but there are a few problems with this strategy...

1) if you are dealing with a psycho you could end up charged with rape. all she has to prove is that she said no. no does mean no, or at least that is how you should take it - because as long as she says no and you keep going, you are legally up sh*ts creak.

2) even if you push through and she changes her no to a yes, she's going to be confused after that you took away her power. that she said you couldn't eat the banquet and yet you did anyway. at which point she will simply find some other means of regaining power over you - typically an endless stream of sh*t tests.

3) you've positively reinforced her game playing strategies. she now feels comfortable using idiotic strategies thinking that you, in time, will see through them and overcome them. the problem with this is that you probably wont. you'll be on here every time asking us 'ok guys, now shes doing this, what do i do?"

instead of 'pushing through', I suggest you just work on getting better at seducing her. of getting her so horny that she can't control her urges.

but I personally am never a fan of entering a woman if she has said no. that's how you end up in jail.

joekerr31 said:

but I personally am never a fan of entering a woman if she has said no. that's how you end up in jail.

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I agree. All you can do is try different things to keep getting her worked up, until her emotions overtip any last minute resistance.

She's naked in your bed, she's not stupid, she knows what she is doing.

Once she gets hot enough, how she FEELS at that moment will override any last minute resistance. Then, afterwards, she may use backwards rationalization to justify everything, if she feels any regret.

Or..you could next this one and find a normal gal..

In following what someone else said if you use the push through idea and later she feels so guilty about it that she decides she needs to do something by crying rape remember that if she calls you after you have sex and tries to get you to admit having sex or doing things with her or stuff of that nature refuse to talk about it on the phone as she could be setting you up for the fall with some wiretap recording your conversation police type bullsh!t.

joekerr31 said:

nothing feels better to a woman more than knowing a man WANTS her - its a total ego rush and its what they live for. they enjoy / want that 100 times more than the actual sex.

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That's not exactly true. Because some women don't know you want them until you have sex with them. Hell, even after you have sex with them, they're still not sure. But that only happens if you play things right. I know this is pretty standard advise, but a little more mixed signals may improve the situation. A classic push-pull-push-push-pull.

I would go down on her, then she won't be able to resist

kingwilliam said:

I would go down on her, then she won't be able to resist

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cunnilingus is usually the fastest way to the promise land.

I havn't been online much, so I didn't get these responses umtil after, but here's what happened.

Yeah, I've been an AFC with her. I'm a sucker for the depression act. Any tips on how to defend against this in the future would be greatly appreciated. No worries on the rape charge, She mounted me after I teased her enough.

I did get to fvck her, it was ok, not the best I've had. Next mourning I picked up a new # on the bus to replace her. I figure I made too many AFC mistakes with the resist girl, time to start fresh.

Incremental said:

I figure I made too many AFC mistakes with the resist girl, time to start fresh.

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Yep.