I think my new landlord wants me and i want her...

[GtarPlayr73]

So, I'm living in my own bona-fide apartment now. It's in a large Victorian-revival house, divided up into several apartment. My landlord is a woman a few years older than me, attractive, blue eyes, brown hair. She is vice president of sales and marketing for a small start-up. She is also a fitness instructor on the side. The result of this is that she is very busy and usually doesn't get home till 8PM. She was a star athlete, a straight-A student, made it to pre-med, and was an outstanding sailor in the Navy (medical corpman with an endless list of commendations and citations). So she's a superwoman...and she's my landlord. From the moment we first met (when i checked out the place) we clicked and she showed a high IL in me. I just got that unmistakeable vibe. We would digress from talking about the apartment, etc. She told me the day i inspected the apartment that i was had just the kind of disposition that would fit in perfectly. The day i moved in, she asked me if i was dating the landlady's daughter after she saw her come over. (Seems like she just HAD to know). So she hinted at me visiting and mentioned how one of the other female tenants visits her regularly and has become friends with her. Indeed, the other tenants are very friendly and neighborly and the overall atmosphere is very friendly and informal. My landlord invited me up once to show me her place (she lives above me). So, i felt she was being very open.

Body-wise, she is overweight, mainly in the ass and thighs and she isn't afraid to admit it. But, it's by no means a turn-off. She is a fitness guru and prob was in AMAZING shape until recently, but she just hates cardio lately. I DO NOT go for overweight women, but this woman is still FIRM. And her face, chest, and calves are slim. Her personality is really attractive as well. She's smart, deep, soft-spoken, and strong on the inside. So, the idea of having sex with her is admittedly, very appealing.

So, the other day, she pulled in and got out and was wearing a hot pink top and a black skirt and i thought, i have to visit her. So i called her and asked her if she was up for a non-business visit. She sounded flattered and happily accepted, even warning me that her apartment wasn't very tidy at the moment. I said no prob, mine's the same. So she welcomes me in and offers me a beer, taking one herself. I sit on the love seat and she sits on the ottomon facing me. She again inquired about the landlady's daughter why she and i weren't in a relationship. i explained that things didn't work out, due to age, and personality conflicts. (She let on that one of the other (very cute) female tenants was wondering that as well. THAT one has live-in boyfriend who i have hit it off well with as he is professional pilot). We ended up talking for hours. We both have an online dating account, but when i asked her how it was going, she said she was all set with dating for now. She couldn't be bothered.

She complimented me on being "an unusually mature 34 year old man" and said i was "an old soul". She asked questions about me and my family and discussed hers as well. Then she went into her bedroom, kept the door open, and continued to talk to me as she got changed. When she came out, she was wearing pajama bottoms and a pink spaghetti strap top. She wasn't wearing a bra. She then lay down on the floor in front of me and continued to talk. First, she was on her back, then she was on her side. She rubbed her foot along the ottomon and mentioned sex as (not related in any way to me, but in passing). Obviously, i was thinking of only one thing and eventually sat down on the floor as well, about 3 feet from her. When i did this, she said "oh you didn't have to move, it's just comfortable for me down here". I said something about coming down to her level. Soon, she sat up and covered her chest with the shawl that she had bunched up as a pillow. Her body language was unmistakeably guarded. After ten minutes, i sat back up on the couch, saying that my legs had fallen asleep. She didn't seem to care. We talked for another 45 minutes and then she addressed some of the the things i had emailed her about my apartment that needed resolving. Following that, we went down the stairs and i walked with her as she continued to talk as she took out a bag of garbage and then she said she enjoyed talking to me and bid me good night.

OK. So, you know about my involvement with the landlady's daughter and how that turned out, but this woman is MY age and very responsible, mature, wise, intelligent, capable. We connect. I think it is safe to say that there is a sexual tension between her and i. What would YOU do if you were in my shoes? Would you keep things strictly business and safe or would you go for it? Considering my current AFC credentials, should i exercise restraint or see it as an opportunity with a great woman my own age?

[IamMyownMan]

Hard and fast rule:
Don't schit where you eat, or in this case, sleep.

Of course there are plenty of guys who can pull it off without any negative consequences.

[joekerr31]

this is getting ridiculous.

let me get this straight. I grade A HB9/10 hot as f*ck chic is giving you the 'i want to f*ck you' treatment and yet you are completely oblivious to how women work or what to do in this scenario?

if this smoking hot chic wants to bang you, then i would suspect many other smoking hot chics in the past would have also. so you should at least have some experience with this. by 34 you shoudl know the routine.

im not sure what to make of you anymore man :)

my advice, bang her brains out. who cares if she is your landlord. at this point you don't need to be worrying about making the right moves, you just need to make moves. toss caution to the wind and bang every chic who shows an interest in you. you might get randomly lucky and land a good quality woman.

im not being sarcastic, im being serious by the way :)

[joekerr31]

When she came out, she was wearing pajama bottoms and a pink spaghetti strap top.

btw, this look, which many women adorn in the morning, is hot as f*ck. a chic in pajamas and spaghetti strap top INSTANTLY makes me think about f*cking them.

[Mr.Positive]

When she came out, she was wearing pajama bottoms and a pink spaghetti strap top. She wasn't wearing a bra. She then lay down on the floor in front of me and continued to talk. First, she was on her back, then she was on her side. She rubbed her foot along the ottomon and mentioned sex as (not related in any way to me, but in passing). Obviously, i was thinking of only one thing and eventually sat down on the floor as well, about 3 feet from her. When i did this, she said "oh you didn't have to move, it's just comfortable for me down here".

Situations like this require less thinking and more acting. Take action. It seems she was giving you the green light. Let your natural male instincts take over, ie think with your other head.

You are definitely getting out there and getting past your previous oneitis, which is great. However, I think you analyze things way too much.

BTW, I think the spaghetti strap top and pajamas is sexy as h*ll too.

[GtarPlayr73]

thanks for the green light advice, joekerr! It confirms my instincts...

btw, this look, which many women adorn in the morning, is hot as f*ck. a chic in pajamas and spaghetti strap top INSTANTLY makes me think about f*cking them.
OMG, my man, you are so right! I literally had to search for words mid-sentence when she laid down! Believe me, i took it as a blatant invitation and i wanted to move on her so bad. But why did she sit up and cover her chest when i moved from the couch to the floor? That cooled my jets and i thought i had made a mistake. She couldn't want sex on my first visit, could she?! :) Was her "oh you don't have to move" just an anti-slut defence couched in politeness?

[GtarPlayr73]

yep, i get it now. She would not have invited me up to her place, gotten changed into her pj's, lay down in front of me if she didn't want sex to take place. Look at a woman's actions, right? God, i'm feeling thick, right now! What a perfect scenario! The chemistry of the moment felt so right. Everything was working like it should. But, again, my fear of offending a woman by moving too quickly got the best of me. And she sat up and covered her chest because i didn't move on her immediately. Of course, she wasn't going to keep laying there while i was sitting...

I'm going to visit her tonight. The last thing she said the other night was "stop by any time...". So, i'll try her at 9:00, maybe text her beforehand to let her know i'll be visiting...

[decades]

you already have oneitis.

[blueguy]

thanks for the green light advice, joekerr! It confirms my instincts...

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

hahahaha, man I can't believe you have to get advise from an anonymous guy on the internet to confirm your instincts and get the "green light" :crackup: come on man, you sound so intelligent, but you do the stupidest things sometimes :crackup:

[CanuckinSK]

yep, i get it now. She would not have invited me up to her place, gotten changed into her pj's, lay down in front of me if she didn't want sex to take place. Look at a woman's actions, right? God, i'm feeling thick, right now! What a perfect scenario! The chemistry of the moment felt so right. Everything was working like it should. But, again, my fear of offending a woman by moving too quickly got the best of me. And she sat up and covered her chest because i didn't move on her immediately. Of course, she wasn't going to keep laying there while i was sitting...

I'm going to visit her tonight. The last thing she said the other night was "stop by any time...". So, i'll try her at 9:00, maybe text her beforehand to let her know i'll be visiting...

LOL! definately a 'DOH!!' moment. I feel your pain man, been in similar situations a few times, and reacted like you because I didn't want to take a chance for fear of failure. Strike while the iron's hot next time. Good luck.

[GtarPlayr73]

hey, blueguy, you have to bear in mind that i only recently came out of decades of religious taboos and restraints on sex. I'm still learning the real deal on what women really want. It's been slow getting the women-aren't-aggressive-about-sex message out of my head, ok? Biology was saying one thing, while the feminized culture was saying another and i didn't know how quickly she wanted to move or if she wanted to get sexual with one of her tenants. It's clear to me now, but in the moment, i wasn't so sure...

[joekerr31]

she did not want to have sex with you. dude, unless shes a sex addict she isn't going to bang some guy she just met.

but she WAS trying to get your attention.

you gotta remember, women's body dont function exactly like a mans. they don't get a hard on and the desire to blow a load. they LIKE the tease game. its no big deal for her to flirt her body in front of you - it doesn't produce in her the desire to bust a nut (cuz she has no nut). its pure ego satisfaction. she gets off on knowing that the man sitting across from her is secretly thinking about how much he wants to f*ck her right now.

she is not wearing the pjs and string top cuz she wants you to f*ck her. shes doing it to make you want to f*ck to please her ego.

the BEST thing to do in those scenarios is give her the once over, let her know you are checking her out, then shortly after that make an excuse to leave. it will up her IL in you.

cuz i can tell you this much, odds are she was not looking for a quickie from a practical stranger.

[blueguy]

hey, blueguy, you have to bear in mind that i only recently came out of decades of religious taboos and restraints on sex. I'm still learning the real deal on what women really want. It's been slow getting the women-aren't-aggressive-about-sex message out of my head, ok?


I hear you on that. I had a similar situation.

Sorry, it just stroke me as... you know those cinemax porn flicks?

You sound like one of those "robot aliens" that's getting seduced for his first time by a chick on "planet earth" and doesn't know what to do or how to experience "earthling" emotions :crackup: beam me up, scotty! :crackup:

[MacAvoy]

the BEST thing to do in those scenarios is give her the once over, let her know you are checking her out, then shortly after that make an excuse to leave. it will up her IL in you.

I concur

[decades]

I disagree. I think she was totally up for it. She was waiting for you to make a move. there are lots of women out there ready to have semi anonymous sex. there are plenty of women who treat sex a lot like men do. these women are of course the ones that will have mind blowing sex with you. And in time, they will send these unsuspecting guys to sosuave with their tails between their legs.

[GtarPlayr73]

OK, so we have some mixed opinions. PE and others thinks she was up for it, and considering that this woman is a go-getter and a super-achiever, he might be right. She is strong-willed and goes after what she wants. But according to joekerr, my read of the situation was correct. Hmmm. Better to err on the side of caution during the first visit, esp with one's landlord? My main cause for restraint was precisely that - i was still a stranger and it was my very first visit with her. So she was sending out signals of eventual sexual availability? My attitude was it's my first visit. I'll play it cool, show her she's worth my time, build up some familiarity, and let her wait for my first move when it does come.

The crucial thing is knowing when to make that first move. If she was that blatant in showing her sexual interest, i can only wonder what she'll do to signal that she is ready, unless PE was right and her lying down WAS the signal...

[STR8UP]

Could go either way, but I would guess that her body language suggested that she wasn't putting herself out there for sex.

Problem is you don't know, and the window usually closes after about the second time she "puts herself out there" for you, if that's what she was doing.

[Victory Unlimited]

Another Landlord-Chick? :crackup:

[jophil28]

This situation highlights what I have wondered about on and off for decades- what does HER behavior mean ?
It is well known that what women SAY is just static -worthless noise. The truth is in their behavior. However in this case(Landlady HB) it is still not clear whether she wanted a f**k on the night or ,as Jokerr said,she just wanted to know that GtrPlyr wanted to bang her .. Women's behavior is STILL obscure sometimes and what we THINK that they are saying thru their behavior is not necesseraily what they mean. Only when their words MATCH their actions can we be sure, and that is rare.

This woman is playing the "do you want me game." That is certain, Whether she wants sex or is just getting off on creating desire in Gtr Plyr is not clear.

This is what I would do to test her.
Invite her over to YOUR place for some dinner and a DVD. Make it some kind of Non sexy movie....What she wears will give you a clue. SHe will wear something hot IF she is thinking sex. She is now on YOUR turf (even though she technically owns the joint)..
If she wants sex she will make it clear - women are skilled at sending "fuk me " signals. She will turn the convo to sex or sit close or send "those" signals.
Trust your instincts man.

[jophil28]

Her lying down was a signal. It says" I am confident enough to expose my body in a sexual manner like this in front of you."
She lay down in front of you. That is a submissive gesture .
Lying down in front of you is an invitation to touch or ,at least, look and lust after her.

She either wants a good fuking OR she is a HUGE AW.

However you still URGENTLY need to spin some more plates . THis LandLady stuff should NOT be at the center of your emotions.. Get out with some other women and make up for lost time.

[joekerr31]

I disagree. I think she was totally up for it. She was waiting for you to make a move. there are lots of women out there ready to have semi anonymous sex. there are plenty of women who treat sex a lot like men do. these women are of course the ones that will have mind blowing sex with you. And in time, they will send these unsuspecting guys to sosuave with their tails between their legs.


if he hadn't JUST moved in and if their relationship didn't have a business aspect to it, then i would agree with you.

but if she wanted to get laid, he did a good job of giving her the opportunity. she went to the floor, so he went to the floor. she could have continued to escalate it - 'owww, my stupid calf. it keeps cramping.' 'really? do you want me to massage that out for you?'

but the moment he got down, she got up and changed her tone.

i don't think she was looking to get laid but rather is a woman who gets a kick out of male attraction and knowing she is still desireable even though she is older.

who knows, in a few weeks he might be tapping it though.

[MacAvoy]

However you still URGENTLY need to spin some more plates . THis LandLady stuff should NOT be at the center of your emotions.. Get out with some other women and make up for lost time.

Good point. He should start chasing the other women in the house that are interested in him. Increase his social proof with the new landlady.

[joekerr31]

OK, so we have some mixed opinions. PE and others thinks she was up for it, and considering that this woman is a go-getter and a super-achiever, he might be right. She is strong-willed and goes after what she wants. But according to joekerr, my read of the situation was correct. Hmmm. Better to err on the side of caution during the first visit, esp with one's landlord? My main cause for restraint was precisely that - i was still a stranger and it was my very first visit with her. So she was sending out signals of eventual sexual availability? My attitude was it's my first visit. I'll play it cool, show her she's worth my time, build up some familiarity, and let her wait for my first move when it does come.

The crucial thing is knowing when to make that first move. If she was that blatant in showing her sexual interest, i can only wonder what she'll do to signal that she is ready, unless PE was right and her lying down WAS the signal...


first of all i was right and everyone else is wrong :cuss:

just joking.

but i do re-iterate. the BEST move you could have made would have been to look her over, flirt very lightly, then leave. that makes YOU the prize. it says 'ya your hot. yep, im digging you. but I know this is all pretty much about you getting attention, so i've given you a little. if you want more, you're going to have to earn it."

if you let her control the tone and pace and mood of the conversation you make her the prize and hand over all control to her. you are lefting HOPING that she's 1) attracted to you and 2) horny and wants to f*ck.

whereas if you leave early you raise her IL level in you. "wow, not a lot of guys would leave when i'm flashing my boobs in my skimpiest outfit. i know hes not gay because i saw him checking me out. i wonder why he left? i need to find out more about this guy, he's intriguing. i want him to want me, but im not sure he fully does. i don't know why, but the thought of this guy now is getting me wet."

you have to ALWAYS interact with women as though you've got 5 others waiting in your bed at home. which means you should be light, funny, playful, attentive, BUT when they start dangling a steak with no intention of letting you eat it, you gotta cut things short and let them know you can get steak other places. so if they want to dangle it, then they better feed you.

[joekerr31]

Could go either way, but I would guess that her body language suggested that she wasn't putting herself out there for sex.

Problem is you don't know, and the window usually closes after about the second time she "puts herself out there" for you, if that's what she was doing.

she was putting herself out there for sexual attention - not sex.

now, if she wanted sex she would have got him into the bedroom. "you're a big strong guy. could you help move a mirror. just this way...CHICKA BOW BOW CHICKA BOW BOW" (lame attempted at porn music).

anyway, heres my basic rule of thumb. when a woman is doing all the things to get you worked up but NOT giving you a fairly clear green light to make your move she is usually just working you up for her own ego gratification.

now yes, many times you can actually get her to fall into her own trap and she gets caught up in the moment and suddenly finds herself wanting to screw you. but more often than not, if she's just getting you hot and bothered and not creating an opening for you to move on, its all ego based.

women know how to make openings. they will brush you, or they will get close to you, or they will over compliment you on things that are totally out of context to the conversation at hand, etc.

my money says that if he had made a move she would have shut him down cold and said 'i appreciate that you like me, but we only JUST met."

he played it right staying cool.

[joekerr31]

Another Landlord-Chick? :crackup:

i gotta admit, things like banging the landlord, teacher, stewardess, etc. are cool. theres something almost porno about it.

[KarmaSutra]

analyzing situations like this is for WOMEN

are you a WOMAN?

Posting a response like this is for idiots.

Are you an idiot?

[penkitten]

dear resident,
the landlord does not want you, she wants to make nicey nice small talk to get you on her good side, so that you will take care of your unit and pay your rent on time and so that you will not make damages in the place or have the cops there every other day.
sincerely,
another landlord chick

[Phyzzle]

analyzing situations like this is for WOMEN

are you a WOMAN?

Are you SKIP TO MY LOU?

Are you LESS THAN 25?

[Latinoman]

Couple things...

1- Under NO circunstances tell any woman about your years of sexual religious taboo. It will creep them out.

2- If you are NOT going to make a move...at the very least, be the one saying "Well...I have to go. Thanks for ____". I mean, I notice you are ALWAYS getting "kicked" out. You should be the one saying, "I got to go" (unless you already making a move).

[KarmaSutra]

dear resident,
the landlord does not want you, she wants to make nicey nice small talk to get you on her good side, so that you will take care of your unit and pay your rent on time and so that you will not make damages in the place or have the cops there every other day.
sincerely,
another landlord chick

BINGO!

'Kitten on the money!

For you darling :flowers:

[Latinoman]

OK, so we have some mixed opinions. PE and others thinks she was up for it, and considering that this woman is a go-getter and a super-achiever, he might be right. She is strong-willed and goes after what she wants. But according to joekerr, my read of the situation was correct. Hmmm. Better to err on the side of caution during the first visit, esp with one's landlord? My main cause for restraint was precisely that - i was still a stranger and it was my very first visit with her. So she was sending out signals of eventual sexual availability? My attitude was it's my first visit. I'll play it cool, show her she's worth my time, build up some familiarity, and let her wait for my first move when it does come.

The crucial thing is knowing when to make that first move. If she was that blatant in showing her sexual interest, i can only wonder what she'll do to signal that she is ready, unless PE was right and her lying down WAS the signal...

The crucial thing is knowing when to EXCUSE yourself and say "Goodnight"...BEFORE she does it.

[penkitten]

I mean, I notice you are ALWAYS getting "kicked" out.
is this true?

[jophil28]

dear resident,
the landlord does not want you, she wants to make nicey nice small talk to get you on her good side, so that you will take care of your unit and pay your rent on time and so that you will not make damages in the place or have the cops there every other day.
sincerely,
another landlord chick

If this is true, then it is just another tacky manipulation by a woman to get what she wants. For f**ks sake, why don't women just ask for what they want instead of 'sexing' everything up ...They Pi$$ me off //This shyte is so high school. No wonder middle aged guys do not ever want to commit again. We have had about a gut full of this slimey crap.

[blueguy]

dear resident,
the landlord does not want you, she wants to make nicey nice small talk to get you on her good side, so that you will take care of your unit and pay your rent on time and so that you will not make damages in the place or have the cops there every other day.
sincerely,
another landlord chick

I'd have to agree with this assessment. Now if it was the landlord's daughter, like last time, that would be another story (unless she was in on it too ;))

I also agree with the guy who said worrying about situations like this is for chicks. Guys analyze things they can change. Chicks worry about things they have no control over.

Next time you don't have much info on a situation, ask yourself two questions:

1. Will I get another opportunity?
2. What do I have to lose?

[Latinoman]

is this true?

Yep. His last date literally told him something to the effect that she was a little tired. He was at her place too.

The landlady literally walked him out and said good night.

HE should be the one ENDING the visit. Especially if he notices that he is not going anywhere.

[MikeYikes122]

GtarPlayr, I don't mean any offense here, but you remind me of me when I was about 20.

I had just entered college and I was on the verge of cracking my AFC-ness. Girls were attracted to me, and I was starting to understand some of theories I was being taught on here.

Anyway, there was a girl in my dorm who I spent two or three hours every day with. We worked out together. We went out to eat together and got coffee together, sometimes I even paid (which makes me cringe thinking about now.) We talked on the phone and AOL Instant Messenger with each other sometimes for hours. And when we'd go out to parties, I'd always walk her home.

Basically, I was her boyfriend, but I wasn't getting any.

Instead, I'd come on here and post crazy 1,200-word examinations of our interactions, breaking down everything from her words, to her dress, to her body language. Why? Because she had a long-distance boyfriend (who I knew was a loser from high school), and she told everyone that we were just friends when everyone told her she was into me. The insane thing? I actually believed her and never made a move on her or anything, even though deep down inside I figured she had a thing for me. We never kissed, never messed around, never did anything.

I was so far in the woods that I couldn't see forest.

Your situation(s) reminds me of that. This girl's actions, like my fake-girlfriend's from college, are screaming attraction. You just need our affirmation for some reason, while all the signs are there that she is into you. You seem like you even pick up on them.

If I were you, I'd call a spade a spade at this point. I'd stick to my guns and go in for the kill. It doesn't sound like it would be that hard to work the landlord up. My only objection would be that she is my landlord, and that could be weird. But if you don't care, then what is stopping you from at least just putting in a little bit of work?

I agree that she didn't want sex at that moment, but she sounds interested. It wouldn't be too hard to nail her.

[KarmaSutra]

Basically, I was her boyfriend, but I wasn't getting any.


I was so far in the woods that I couldn't see forest.

Too many fvcking brothers are victims of this right here.

Good for you for freeing yourself.

[joekerr31]

you don't have to be over 25 to realize that this guy analyzes every simple little situation WAY TOO MUCH

this is true. but its better to over analyze life, suffer as a result, but at some point come to clear and final resolutions, than it is to never analyze life at all.

a good 90% of the joy to be had in life is figure things out.

[Mr.Positive]

dear resident,
the landlord does not want you, she wants to make nicey nice small talk to get you on her good side, so that you will take care of your unit and pay your rent on time and so that you will not make damages in the place or have the cops there every other day.
sincerely,
another landlord chick

I'm going to disagree with this..

The way I see it, she was into him. If she only wanted to get on his good side...

1) She would not have inquired about his personal live. This shows interest in him.

2) She would not have informed him that she was trying online dating, showing she was available.

3) and lastly..she would not have left the room, and changed into a sexy top with pajamas. This showed that she was extremely comfortable with him, comfortable enough to let her guard down and let him see her when she's wearing her relaxing sleeping clothes.

I think Gtarplyr is on the right track here, and if he sees her again, he's got another shot at this. What he needs to do, is get her relaxed again, and then set the frame that he's interested in her physically.

[edger]

but the moment he got down, she got up and changed her tone.

i don't think she was looking to get laid but rather is a woman who gets a kick out of male attraction and knowing she is still desireable even though she is older.



Guitarist, I hold the same stance as Joekerr here.