This tip was sent by DJNewslet. I post this for the people who didn't subscribe for the DJNewslet. I think this tip is great! This is one of the most motivating tips.
It helped me a lot to change my mindset.
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TIP OF THE DAY
** Are You Nervous? **
Often young Juaners lament the fact that they can be smooth,
charming, and SoSuave when dealing with women that they're not
attracted to... but as soon as they meet someone that they are
attracted to, they turn into a nervous, quivering, degenerative
wreck.
They get upset, angry at themselves, and even depressed. They feel
that their nervousness is holding them back and preventing them from
expressing who they really are... and getting the women that they
really want.
So the question very frequently pops up, "How can I relax when I'm
around women that I'm attracted to? How can I control my anxiety
and nervousness so that I come across as smooth and charming, rather
than tense, anxious, and just plain strange?"
Most of the traditional strategies for reducing nervousness in these
situations fall into one of the following two categories: either you
learn to tell yourself certain things designed to knock this lady
off the pedestal you have her on, so that you can begin to see her
more like an ordinary human being and less like a Goddess, or you
modify your "catastrophizing" thoughts so that you come to the
realistic conclusion, perhaps via trial and error, that the world
will not come to an end if this particular lady decides not to jump
your bones.
Both strategies work fine, as far as they go. But personally, I
prefer to use the following. This particular strategy fits into
neither of the above categories, and, quite frankly, is much easier
to implement and a lot MORE FUN. Not only will you not feel
nervous, but you'll also benefit from enjoying the sensations of
infatuation, while learning to use those feelings to your advantage
in attracting women.
Okay...
The first and most important thing you need to realize, is that
being nervous around a woman that you're attracted to isn't
necessarily a BAD thing. In fact, it's actually quite a GOOD thing.
It's something to be happy about, something to relish... because
any woman who can make you feel nervous, tense, or even frightened,
must be quite an amazing woman.
Think about it. If she's having this kind of effect on you, if her
mere presence is enough to make you sweat like a pig and utter
completely nonsensical phrases, she must be pretty dadgum special!
Right? This is wonderful. This is awesome. This is not the type
of thing you should be depressed about and trying to "fight." This
is the type of thing (and these are the types of emotions) you want
to embrace, enjoy, and even celebrate.
Yet most guys interpret their nervousness from a negative point of
view. They mistakenly think that the anxiety and nervousness that
they experience whenever "she" is around, is something that must be
eliminated. Something that must be overcome. Something that true
"Don Juans" never experience. This is a completely harmful and
negative way of thinking. I mean really, wouldn't it be boring if
you never met any woman who made you feel this way? If you never
met any woman who made you anxious, nervous, and babble like an
idiot? If you just felt your normal, comfortable, relaxed self
around all women?
BORING!
No, the women you WANT are the ones who make you weak in the knees.
The ones who make you nervous, sweaty, and whose mere presence is
enough to drive you crazy. Yes, these are the women that make life
worth living.
So remember, being "nervous" is a GOOD thing and a sign that you've
met an amazing woman... and a woman with the potential to make you
very happy.
The second thing you need to realize, is that your nervousness may
not be nervousness at all. In fact, what it actually is... is
EXCITEMENT. I mean really, this is an incredible woman, right?
Drop-dead gorgeous, charming, intelligent, funny. Maybe the woman
of your dreams, the one you'll marry and live "happily ever after"
with. Sounds like a pretty good reason to be excited to me. In
fact, if you're NOT excited about meeting such an incredible lady,
THEN I'd say you have a problem.
Remember that emotions differ from one another mainly in how we
interpret them, not in any type of distinct physiological state
associated with them. Thus, the state of physiological arousal
which accompanies a feeling of nervousness is pretty much the same
state of physiological arousal which accompanies a feeling of
excitement. The only real difference between the two is that in one
situation we're telling ourselves that we're nervous (a bad thing),
and in another situation we're telling ourselves that we're excited
(a good thing).
And if you think about it logically, there's absolutely no reason to
feel bad (nervous) when you're around a magnificent woman. But
there are a whole heck of a lot of reasons to feel good (excited)
when she's around. Thus, whatever you decide to tell yourself, and
believe, will determine whether you feel nervous (bad) or excited
(good). You simply need to "direct" your mind to the desired
emotional response.
So feel the emotions. Don't fight them. Feel the excitement within
you, the adrenaline surging throughout your veins, and rather than
thinking, "Oh no. Why can't I relax? I'm going to say something
stupid and blow it again." think, "WOW! What a magnificent woman!
I definitely need to get to know her better." Thus, you consciously
and deliberately transform the "nervousness" into "excitement."
And you feel good. Excited is good, right?
Now the third and final thing you need to do is to channel those
"excited" feelings into behaviors and personality traits that women
will find attractive.
And the great thing is, once you've completed the first two steps
above, the attractive behaviors and traits will appear
automatically.
Believe it or not, that excitement you're feeling will actually help
to make you more attractive to women. The excitement will come
through in your attitude, your voice, and your body language.
You'll ooze enthusiasm and energy... both of which are highly
attractive qualities to women. You will then have a tremendous
advantage in attracting this woman AND setting yourself apart from
all the other guys. The cool, suave guys who never get nervous and
who always seem relaxed around women will seem boring compared to
you.
And all you really did was to recognize that she was a magnificent
woman, let yourself feel the excitement within you, and then
channeled those feelings into energetic enthusiasm.
What woman could possibly resist?
Allen Thompson
[email protected]
It helped me a lot to change my mindset.
______________________________________________________________
TIP OF THE DAY
** Are You Nervous? **
Often young Juaners lament the fact that they can be smooth,
charming, and SoSuave when dealing with women that they're not
attracted to... but as soon as they meet someone that they are
attracted to, they turn into a nervous, quivering, degenerative
wreck.
They get upset, angry at themselves, and even depressed. They feel
that their nervousness is holding them back and preventing them from
expressing who they really are... and getting the women that they
really want.
So the question very frequently pops up, "How can I relax when I'm
around women that I'm attracted to? How can I control my anxiety
and nervousness so that I come across as smooth and charming, rather
than tense, anxious, and just plain strange?"
Most of the traditional strategies for reducing nervousness in these
situations fall into one of the following two categories: either you
learn to tell yourself certain things designed to knock this lady
off the pedestal you have her on, so that you can begin to see her
more like an ordinary human being and less like a Goddess, or you
modify your "catastrophizing" thoughts so that you come to the
realistic conclusion, perhaps via trial and error, that the world
will not come to an end if this particular lady decides not to jump
your bones.
Both strategies work fine, as far as they go. But personally, I
prefer to use the following. This particular strategy fits into
neither of the above categories, and, quite frankly, is much easier
to implement and a lot MORE FUN. Not only will you not feel
nervous, but you'll also benefit from enjoying the sensations of
infatuation, while learning to use those feelings to your advantage
in attracting women.
Okay...
The first and most important thing you need to realize, is that
being nervous around a woman that you're attracted to isn't
necessarily a BAD thing. In fact, it's actually quite a GOOD thing.
It's something to be happy about, something to relish... because
any woman who can make you feel nervous, tense, or even frightened,
must be quite an amazing woman.
Think about it. If she's having this kind of effect on you, if her
mere presence is enough to make you sweat like a pig and utter
completely nonsensical phrases, she must be pretty dadgum special!
Right? This is wonderful. This is awesome. This is not the type
of thing you should be depressed about and trying to "fight." This
is the type of thing (and these are the types of emotions) you want
to embrace, enjoy, and even celebrate.
Yet most guys interpret their nervousness from a negative point of
view. They mistakenly think that the anxiety and nervousness that
they experience whenever "she" is around, is something that must be
eliminated. Something that must be overcome. Something that true
"Don Juans" never experience. This is a completely harmful and
negative way of thinking. I mean really, wouldn't it be boring if
you never met any woman who made you feel this way? If you never
met any woman who made you anxious, nervous, and babble like an
idiot? If you just felt your normal, comfortable, relaxed self
around all women?
BORING!
No, the women you WANT are the ones who make you weak in the knees.
The ones who make you nervous, sweaty, and whose mere presence is
enough to drive you crazy. Yes, these are the women that make life
worth living.
So remember, being "nervous" is a GOOD thing and a sign that you've
met an amazing woman... and a woman with the potential to make you
very happy.
The second thing you need to realize, is that your nervousness may
not be nervousness at all. In fact, what it actually is... is
EXCITEMENT. I mean really, this is an incredible woman, right?
Drop-dead gorgeous, charming, intelligent, funny. Maybe the woman
of your dreams, the one you'll marry and live "happily ever after"
with. Sounds like a pretty good reason to be excited to me. In
fact, if you're NOT excited about meeting such an incredible lady,
THEN I'd say you have a problem.
Remember that emotions differ from one another mainly in how we
interpret them, not in any type of distinct physiological state
associated with them. Thus, the state of physiological arousal
which accompanies a feeling of nervousness is pretty much the same
state of physiological arousal which accompanies a feeling of
excitement. The only real difference between the two is that in one
situation we're telling ourselves that we're nervous (a bad thing),
and in another situation we're telling ourselves that we're excited
(a good thing).
And if you think about it logically, there's absolutely no reason to
feel bad (nervous) when you're around a magnificent woman. But
there are a whole heck of a lot of reasons to feel good (excited)
when she's around. Thus, whatever you decide to tell yourself, and
believe, will determine whether you feel nervous (bad) or excited
(good). You simply need to "direct" your mind to the desired
emotional response.
So feel the emotions. Don't fight them. Feel the excitement within
you, the adrenaline surging throughout your veins, and rather than
thinking, "Oh no. Why can't I relax? I'm going to say something
stupid and blow it again." think, "WOW! What a magnificent woman!
I definitely need to get to know her better." Thus, you consciously
and deliberately transform the "nervousness" into "excitement."
And you feel good. Excited is good, right?
Now the third and final thing you need to do is to channel those
"excited" feelings into behaviors and personality traits that women
will find attractive.
And the great thing is, once you've completed the first two steps
above, the attractive behaviors and traits will appear
automatically.
Believe it or not, that excitement you're feeling will actually help
to make you more attractive to women. The excitement will come
through in your attitude, your voice, and your body language.
You'll ooze enthusiasm and energy... both of which are highly
attractive qualities to women. You will then have a tremendous
advantage in attracting this woman AND setting yourself apart from
all the other guys. The cool, suave guys who never get nervous and
who always seem relaxed around women will seem boring compared to
you.
And all you really did was to recognize that she was a magnificent
woman, let yourself feel the excitement within you, and then
channeled those feelings into energetic enthusiasm.
What woman could possibly resist?
Allen Thompson
[email protected]