I will try to keep things as simple as possible, a little background: I am overall decent with good job, pay, car, hobbies except a slightly receeding hairline, which I was self-consious about it when I was an AFC. I joined the community about Feb 06 after a bad AFC breakup with my one-itis girlfriend in Jan. I started going for massive self-improvement and had great results sarging alone, pulling ID on day games etc.

Anyway, I had a small performance at a community event in April 06 and attracted many girls, one of them were quite crazy about me and we started going out. She is slightly chubby, a HB5 and 6 years younger than me (I m 26). We didnt have sex until 6 months into the relationship, because I was a virgin... I finally gave it out because she ask me for it many times - but she was a virgin too.

Anyway, I would say her interest level on me is quite high still at over 90% while mine at her was about 60%... and I am honest to her about this. She sometime cries why I didnt love her as much as she love me. We have been going out about twice a week and she still complain I didnt give her enough time - she is quite needy and I call her on this many time. Simply put, she is a female AFC, and sometime being quite childlish.

My problem here is that she is eating up too much of my time, trying to turn me into an AFC again, and being too needy. She is unwilling to go to the gym to raise her own value. On the other hand, because I am her first real boyfriend, I dont want to give her shyt...

fellow DJs, what is your call?

this is what happens when you are in a relationship with a chic who you aren't really in to.

your options are

1) figure a way to get in to her
2) admit you're just using her as a f*ck buddy and define the relationship as such
3) end it

what i hear you saying with regards to her going to the gym is - "I wish she'd be hotter so that i could see her as a long term mate and not just a chic i get p*ssy from"

from what little you've said it doesn't sound as though the problem here is so much her, as it is you. you're older, more successful, less needy, etc. - and instead of reassuring her that she's your woman, it sounds like your feeding her fears by being very casual about where things stand (ie. you're leaving the back door open so you can scoot out at some point).

anyway. id say fess up to yourself as to why you're in the relationship. if its 90% p*ssy access related, and she obviously wants much more than that, then just end it and move on.

monki said:

On the other hand, because I am her first real boyfriend, I dont want to give her shyt...

Click to expand...

Her problems aren't your problems.

Oneitis comes full circle. First you had it, and now you are the object of it.

Honestly, is her weight the only problem? Weight can be changed, but even if she drops pounds, she will still be the same AFC (avg. frustrated chick). If you subconsciously feel like you are settling for less than you deserve, then you will resent her, and the two of you will never have a great LTR. She probably wants to marry you, because you were her first sex partner; that is only normal. Of course, on the plus side, her oneitis for you makes it easy for you to manipulate her into doing whatever you want. I bet she'd have a threesome with you if she thought that it was required to keep you as a boyfriend.

Honestly, I don't think this will work for you, mostly for the reasons pointed out above.

Especially the notion that even if you do care for this girl, your weak attraction for her is only going to make her MORE unhappy in the long run. You two need to be totally honest with each other at this point.

Sounds like you have the "I don't want to be seen as a user" blues. Joekerr gave you the options. Number one only works if you can lie to yourself and believe the lie. Choose option 2 or 3 now. My recommendation is 3. Her first boyfriend? Super needy? Option two will only hurt her more but she'll grab onto it hoping you'll come to "love" her as much as she wants you to. If her feelings really matter to you, end it now. Either that or face the fact that you are using her to feel good until what you really want comes along and understand that the longer it goes on ... the more she is hurt when you find the one you leave her for!

Regards