http://hugoboy.typepad.com/hugo_schwyzer/2005/01/older_men_young.html

I recall Rollo Tomassi discussing how older and child-laden women use the social contrivance of the older man, younger woman relationship as being a bad thing. This blog thread has an older man defending the practice as being natural, and some older women viewing it as "mortally disgusting". An interesting read.

Towards the bottom is very good post that sums older women's attitudes about this:

I really care about a man who is close to my age, I am 38. However, a girl who is much younger then him has a huge crush on him. She is 22. It annoys me to no end to see her staring at him everytime he is in the room. I know that he is interested in me, because he has said so. He has also shared very personal information with me. I know he trusts me. I trust him. This girl gets on my every last nerve. Not only does she have a crush on him, every time she speaks to me it is like she is trying to one up me. She is always very snotty and sarcastic to me, I just want to smack her in the mouth. I am trying very hard to be the nice responsible adult, but this is not easy.

Click to expand...

Honey, you are jealous because you know instinctively that she has the upper hand here.

Hi there, I'm shocked to see someone be so biased about older men and younger women as you seem to be. Have you ever taken any formal courses on human sexuality sir? Or are you just giving us your opinion on things? Can you back up what you believe with facts from turstworthy sources?

Don't you know that the bible is full of stories about young women and older men? I've lived all over the world and in most of Europe and Asia they simply don't attach the stigma to it that you do.

I'm 58 years young now. Both of my young wives, my first one was 18 when we married and I was 28, my current one was 35 when we married and I was 53, Both women have had problems that prevented us from having children.

I'm the last male on my fathers side of the family. I'll be damn if I let my name become extinct because of sexually inhibited folks like you. I look at and seek out women from 17 to about 30. Women older than that have already had all the children that they want and they have tied their tubes, or had their plumbing removed rendering them useless for making babies.

That is not my fault... They did that to themselves. I would never reccommend to any women to sterilize herself.

There are many simpler to not have children besides permanent sterilization.

So men in my position are forced to seek younger and younger women. Remember this sir. Nature determines when a woman is ready to have sex. She goes through something called puberty. When a woman develops breasts, underarm hair and pubic hair that is natures way of telling men this females is ready to bear children. I happen to think nature is a lot wiser than folks like you on these subjects.

Click to expand...

From one of the guys....that posted there.

Again, I'll point out that age difference issues and the uniquely male shame associated with it is another social contrivance with the latent intent of keeping women's options as primary sexual selector open in order to ensure her long term security. As women age thier sexual marketability declines, while a man's increases with age and maturity. The struggle for a woman then is to remain as sexually appealing long enough to secure long term provisioning and security, but in today's society of quick divorces and the constant making and breaking of these bonds, new contrivances have to be installed in the popular consciousness.

A 40 year old woman who's intimate with a 22 year old guy is cause for celebration in feminized society, because it's affirmation that a woman can remain attractive enoough to peak the sexual interest of a young man. It refreshes women into thinking 'they still got it' and is therefore viewed as a positive while also being a 'just desserts' gender reversal of what female interests perceive as negative - a 40 y.o. man being intimate with a 22 y.o. woman. This arrangement is reinforced in the negative (usually with shame) because it runs counter to ensuring sexual marketability for an aging female population.

Of course older men are going to be more attracted to younger women, they are in the peak of their sexuality and their physicality (usually) while he's matured enough and attained a level of provisioning ability that few younger men can boast of. Our biologies prompt us toward the younger woman and our psychologies justify it be being "deserving" of a beautiful woman. This then necessitates conventions that marginalize his interests and maximize those of women who can no longer compete to the same degree in this arena.

Well said RT...that's why we have the SEX AND THE CITY syndrome. Sadly...women still don't get it. We are attracted to the younger ones...irregardless of what Holliwood shows.

Funny thing is that the CONFIDENT men don't care. And the women that are mature KNOW it too.

Hey professor Rollo - I laughed when I read that - not about the content but it's delivery!! I'll explain it for the young ones,,,

So what you are saying Professor Rollo - is that we have some bitter and angry hors out here who feel left out of the dating game as they age to maturity because men, being the physical visual beings that we are, are naturally pursuing younger hors instead!! And the older feminists and hors in hollywood are playing mind games by showing that a woman can do something if a man does it!!!

But we know that shyt don't work that way!! It's the other way around --As the men get older their value rises in the eyes of the women and as the women get older their value decreases in the eyes of the men!! The men's nature is real and the femenists desire is contrived!.

I'm sorry, I'll try to be more 'ghetto' next time so the mature men on this forum can better understand me.

Young women need older men in their lives who will respect and care about them, who aren't their fathers or brothers but who aren't prospective lovers, either. They need to know that they bring more to the table than their sexuality. They need to be seen as complete human beings.

Click to expand...

i thought this was an important point in the article..

Rollo Tomassi said:

I'm sorry, I'll try to be more 'ghetto' next time so the mature men on this forum can better understand me.

Click to expand...

Hmmm, mr professor is upset with the word "hor" - read it again kid, I don't see the ghetto-ness of my words! My point was that you need to explain things better instead of just putting words together.

vorbis said:

I'm not saying I don't agree with this thread BUT ..
I'm in my mid twenties currently and when i'm talking to some 18 - 21 year girls even now, I feel like I'm in a different world. I can chat away to women of all ages but with fairly young girls, they're the only groups where I feel I have absolutely nothing in common with them!

I'd bang them but I couldn't possible see myself having a relationship with them. Imo any man over 30 should only date (you can bang whoever you want) girls over 25 just to preserve his sanity!

Click to expand...

No applicable in your case. As I personally feel that anything below 25 still kind of immature.

That's why I agree with Rollo on the men marrying before 30 is kind of a mistake.

Now...let's say you are 32 and you have a 25 year old woman...see? or if you are 38 and have a 29 year old woman. See?

It is a HUGE difference between a 28 year old woman and a 22 year old woman.

Drum&Bass said:

i thought this was an important point in the article..

Click to expand...

Well...although it is not a bad statement...shouldn't that be the actual purpose of a TRUE FRIEND (as friends don't have sex with true friends)?

Nothing wrong with that. In fact, I'm currently doing the same with this 25 year old woman that I personally view as a FRIEND. However, the way the guy wrote the article, he is making it feel like is a DUTY of an older man to simply approach young women to serve as their mentors.

as always i love rollo's responses.

now to add my own 2 cents on top...

i think one of the BIG factors behind the slagging of older men with younger women is that there is an inherent sense that although its a man's world, women have their tricks and behind closed doors rule men. in fact i'd argue that is what this whole forum is about - men learning how to be FREE from such tricks.

when an older woman sees a man of her age with a woman 10+ years younger, she realizes that this man is breaking all the supposed rules - the nature of the universe as she has understood it since birth. he's having his cake and eating it to! hes making money, hes got social status, hes got options - and look at his face just covered in 22 year old cake!

meanwhile, her cake has pretty much been eaten, and all that's left is the after taste in her mouth.

now these women though could still easily get a guy no problem - IF they knew how. but for 20 years they got so use to a world where in exchange for sex they got to own a guys balls, that now at 40 they are unprepared to actually give as much as they get - to be mature.

anger is always the result of the mind struggling to reconcile reality with delusion. these 40+ year old women trash these guys because they inherently understand that these men have STOPPED playing THEIR game. they've cashed in their chips and are now playing at a different casino.

its important for all men to realize that in the long run the deck is stacked HUGELY in your favor. Which is what kills me when i see some young buck throwing away his future for some woman.

what comes around goes around, and in time all men should bask in the glory of being a man - they should come into their own and realize THEY are the prize - it may time some years for it to come true, but if you stay the course you always win.

at which point you can take hte younger chic, one your own age, one older - whatever YOU want!

these 40+ year old women trash these guys because they inherently understand that these men have STOPPED playing THEIR game. they've cashed in their chips and are now playing at a different casino.

its important for all men to realize that in the long run the deck is stacked HUGELY in your favor. Which is what kills me when i see some young buck throwing away his future for some woman.

Click to expand...

Dude,

This is golden. One of the best things I've read all month.

oh i should add that lots of guys will say 'thats bs. the deck ain't stacked. oh what id give to be 20 again. life was good"

well if you've let your life fall apart as you get older, thats your fault, no one elses.

life should just get better and better as you get older. if its not you need to STOP and assess why it hasn't.

life can be hard. but if you keep working at whatever your goals are, it should get much better as time goes on.

so many guys avoid the hard work of building a better future and look to escape in p*ssy.