I am a 33 year old guy from an Asian background. I am quite young looking, and also apparently look easy going and friendly.
Unfortunetly, this seems to make me the target of guys who are trying to look cool and "edgy" in front of girls by putting me down and insulting me.
When I was younger, I would get embarassed and upset by such comments, and simply shut down in conversation. Having since gained a little life experience, I have learnt not to get flustered by these comments. As a result, I am now able to calmly respond to such comments by establishing my own worth in these conversations and/or pointing out the weaknesses in the other guy's criticisms of me. However, I am not sure if this is the best way to respond or if this still makes me look a little nerdy and overly intellectual.
Here are two examples. I went to my cousin's wedding a few months ago, and one of the other guests tried to embarass me in front of the other guests by making fun of my (Vietnamese) name, pretending he couldn't understand my English, and when he found out that I had studied in Massachusetts, sarcastically asking me if I had studied at MIT (presumably because MIT has a bit of a reputation for nerdishness). I responded by not getting upset and calmly answering all his questions, and instead gradually bringing up my own credentials in response to his questions, such as the fact that I had studied at Harvard, was doing an internship as a clinical psychologist at a nationally recognised institution, and had previously been admitted to the Bar as a lawyer. This made the guy quieten down, and even get a bit embarassed towards the end.
On another occasion, I had a guy in his twenties at a party first ask me about my views on psychology, and then comment on how defensive psychologists were in defending their views. I responded by pointing out how most scientists, regardless of their discipline, were used to having to defend their positions, and then pointed out how if he had more experience aside from what he learnt in undergrad college classesm he would be aware of this. Again, this seemed to make him go quiet.
However, I am still not sure if this is the best approach or if such a reasoned approach still makes me look ineffectual or nerdy in front of the girls the guy is trying to impress. Does anyone have any thoughts or ideas on how to improve my approach?
Unfortunetly, this seems to make me the target of guys who are trying to look cool and "edgy" in front of girls by putting me down and insulting me.
When I was younger, I would get embarassed and upset by such comments, and simply shut down in conversation. Having since gained a little life experience, I have learnt not to get flustered by these comments. As a result, I am now able to calmly respond to such comments by establishing my own worth in these conversations and/or pointing out the weaknesses in the other guy's criticisms of me. However, I am not sure if this is the best way to respond or if this still makes me look a little nerdy and overly intellectual.
Here are two examples. I went to my cousin's wedding a few months ago, and one of the other guests tried to embarass me in front of the other guests by making fun of my (Vietnamese) name, pretending he couldn't understand my English, and when he found out that I had studied in Massachusetts, sarcastically asking me if I had studied at MIT (presumably because MIT has a bit of a reputation for nerdishness). I responded by not getting upset and calmly answering all his questions, and instead gradually bringing up my own credentials in response to his questions, such as the fact that I had studied at Harvard, was doing an internship as a clinical psychologist at a nationally recognised institution, and had previously been admitted to the Bar as a lawyer. This made the guy quieten down, and even get a bit embarassed towards the end.
On another occasion, I had a guy in his twenties at a party first ask me about my views on psychology, and then comment on how defensive psychologists were in defending their views. I responded by pointing out how most scientists, regardless of their discipline, were used to having to defend their positions, and then pointed out how if he had more experience aside from what he learnt in undergrad college classesm he would be aware of this. Again, this seemed to make him go quiet.
However, I am still not sure if this is the best approach or if such a reasoned approach still makes me look ineffectual or nerdy in front of the girls the guy is trying to impress. Does anyone have any thoughts or ideas on how to improve my approach?