nvictor said:
I'm scared if I turn into Mr Nice Guy she will move on. And this will
happen with the next girl, and the next....
That sounds like classic fear of being who you really are, for fear you will be rejected. I understand completely. It is scary to drop the games and the stupid techniques you learn on this board. You're afraid you're just going to bow down again before some sort of godess and get hired as her personal handmaiden.
I feel that.
Ultimately, do you want a relationship where you are always worried about "challenging her enough?" Do you really want to sit there and look at the ceiling in your room as you go to sleep and wonder, "am I challenging her enough? Am I going to lose her?"
It's your choice.
But I say drop that "challenge her BULLSH!T like a bad habit." All you need to do in a relationship is keep her on her toes.
If she says she doesn't like you being a challenge, she really means it. It doesn't mean you should completely stop, it may mean you are taking it too far.
I really love juggler in this domain. He says, "if you give a gift, say 'this is for being so nice recently and that nice BJ last week.'" Exchange what she wants for what you want. Be loving, just don't be free.
Being a challenge all the time is so fvcking boring to a girl, I mean really. It's so monotonous and predictable - I guess it's as vaguely interesting as something profoundly frustrating can be. It may be frustrating to a girl, and she may feel frustrated and disappointed, which may be good in certain doses. But eventually, that bull just gets boring.
You want to be as unpredictable as a stormy sea. That's what you really want. Rock her one way, then another, be sweet and loving, then cold and distant. Just when she thinks she's got you figured out, boom, bring out another side of yourself. When she thinks you're going to be happy, be sad - even within the span of one conversation.
When she thinks you're going to be unpredictable - be painfully predictable. Always keep her guessing and wondering and surprised.
Just tonight, one thing I was doing right in my conversation with chick was busting on myself and calling myself retarded one minute, then calling myself a genius five minutes later. I spanked her and felt her up (even though we've never kissed, haha sweet), then I laid back and was really distant for a while.
But it sounds like you feel as though you have to do a lot of work to keep this relationship alive. As though if you don't put on some sort of facade, she'll leave. That is an awful feeling to have, I hope you'll find a way to get rid of it as soon as possible. I've felt it before, and it's really unpleasant.
In short, when should you stop being a challenge? It sounds as though now's a good time for a little break.
Good luck to you,
Izza
