A little background to fill in some holes: My gf and I moved in together several months ago and ever since it's been hell. I've already expected this but since I L.... Looo..... Looooo... v.... her (you get the point), I was willing to sacrifice for her because this one was the one I've always wanted. Funny, thoughtful, beautiful, knows how to cook, and good in bed. Well, it got to the point where our arguments would go in circles and I could literally tell what each of us were about to say in each of our responses. Soooo, all of a sudden she called it quits. She explains that I don't understand her blah blah blah typical stuff. Anyways, it takes two to tango and I can't do it all by myself so I had to let her go.

Well... ever since she would call every several days to check up on me. Like I do with all my other ex's, I keep it short because I'm not too fond of making friends with my ex's... never works out for me. Finally, she got the point but she continues to call my freakin parents regularly as well as my other relatives (she asks about me). Kinda awkward but *shrug*.

I was just wondering, guys. Have you had one of these girls? What do you think goes through these girls' head? and why? My guess is that she feels bad about leaving me and the only way to make herself feel better is to make herself look good to everyone. My guess is that she wants to be accepted still and wants to hear/see that recognition that she IS a good girl. So... what do you guys think?

Stop guessing and thinking about her motives. Be glad it was over and you didn't marry her and didn't have any kids. Tell your parents and other relatives to screen her calls or block her number so she will get the hint and stop calling and you can move on peacefuly with your life.

Calling your parents is a way of maintaining the connection with you via "the scenic route". Remember that women do MOST things through the back door and her tactic of calling your parents fits this MO.
My guess is that she still wants some kind of relationship with you.What do YOU want ?

DJDamage said:

Stop guessing and thinking about her motives. Be glad it was over and you didn't marry her and didn't have any kids. Tell your parents and other relatives to screen her calls or block her number so she will get the hint and stop calling and you can move on peacefuly with your life.

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I agree.

My biggest mistake in my last relationship was not dropping her for good sooner than later. After we broke up once and got back together she was "perfect" for five months, things were back to normal, we got engaged (we had been together nearly two years and I was happy) - and then intolerable for the next five until I dropped her for good. It did not matter what I tried, some part of her lost all respect for me and she refused to compromise on certain major things. Even though I gave her a second chance on MY terms and I called her on it constantly when she started being a pain in the butt, she did not care.

It's over, move on, there will be another... and another... and a few more after that.

my guess...

she is keeping tabs on you through your parents. she is analyzing the outcome of her decision to leave.

chics do this a lot. they create what i call the 'lose lose' scenario. either you let her walk away (you lose) OR you cave to her demands (at which point she loses respect for you anyway and you double lose, both for caving and then in losing respect and her future interest in you).

chics who mature stop doing this as they realize that no one wins. but many never realize this.

this is the basic reason there are so many AFCs in the world - because when faced with a 'lose lose' scenario, a lot of men cave.

i am absolutely convinced that this 'lose lose' strategy that many females use is the reason behind 99% of the AFCs in the world. oh, by the way, the 'lose lose' strategy is also used by most children - if you give them what they want (but which isn't good for them) you lose because your being a bad parent, if you don't give them what they want they pout and cry and scream and you lose because now you have a headache.

the best thing to do is what you did, just walk away. if the game is rigged, then don't bother playing it. there are plenty of other games out there in the world - now most of them are rigged also, but that's ok, some aren't.

with regards to her contacting your parents though, in my opinion, she's probably waiting for you to start going through a tough time of some sort in life. At which point she'll either try to get back into your life, OR, somehow make it known that had you not let hte relationship fall apart you're life would have turned out better with her in it.

one thing i never underestimate women on is their ability to really kick a guy when he's down.

i hate to say it, and i know it sounds almost somewhat absurd, but women have such an inferiority complex that the only time they feel dominant over a man is when life has brought him to his knees. and for that brief moment that he's down and out they like to laud themselves over him. not all women are like this, but a LOT are.

you can also see this in how a lot of women treat their children. they boss them around and hardly listen to what their kids are saying. whereas check out the dads, most of them listen to their kids and then act. sure, they may not take care of all the minor stuff in life, or shower them with attention - but one thing dads do well is listen. moms typically are horrible at listening.

a lot of guys go nuts because they turn their power over to a woman. its like turning your power over to your child. imagine how messed up your head would get if your kid ran your life and made the rules.


anyway, for the 'lose lose' game to work you have to suffer. sure, she has still lost also, but women dont care. if you lose and she loses, then its a wash, and since she's the inferior one, a draw actually counts as a win. haha.

best thing you can do is go out and get another woman. then she becomes the only loser in the situation - man do they hate it when you just walk away from them and move on with life.

the best revenge is living well.