AsianPlayboy
Banned
In my ABC's of Attraction, the first step is, obviously, Approach and Attract.
The actual APPROACH, whatever particular approach style you choose, is not only for you to actually go up and engage in a conversation with a woman, but also to generate ATTRACTION within the first 30 seconds.
Attraction can (and should be) ENHANCED and MAINTAINED thereafter in B - BUYING TEMPERATURE, but first impressions count.
A flubbed Approach means you have to work extra hard at creating that Attraction. When you stick your Approach, the rest of the ABC is easy (DEF being another story). 30 seconds of work and you'll know when you're IN or OUT. On one hand, hard to master but on the other, perhaps the EASIEST stage.
The mechanics of the actual approach differ in certain details. Like a True Indirect (indirect body language and indirect opener) to True Direct (like direct bodylanguage and direct opener) to my preferred style (direct bodylanguage and indirect opener) which I consider more versatile. But every situation and every girl needs to be judged individually (ie if she's giving you that "look", why would you bother with True Indirect?).
But why 30 seconds? Well, first impressions are made within a split second by people unconsciously. The first things they notice is Gender and Race. You're "thin sliced" within mere seconds and unconscious judgements are made of you based off your appearance, fashion, facial expression, body language, and so forth. AND, scientifically speaking, people notice Hostile/Fearful/Anxious expressions more than they do Happy/Neutral (ie getting creeped out is more likely to occur if you don't come in strong).
And that's even before you open your mouth and even includes the moment when you walk up to her and she's unconsciously aware of you on HER proximity radar.
To give it more perspective, consider in study on Speed Dating at the Edinburgh Science Festival:
30 seconds, gentleman, 30 seconds.
Quite frankly, in my estimation, if you've stuck your Approach very well, you don't need to generate much General Attraction after that. Which is a problem for Routine/Social Monkeys who run material after material in order to feel like they've got enough Attraction when, really, she's unconsciously decided that you're a potential boyfriend and/or hook up buddy even BEFORE you've finished your Opener.
Feel free discuss. Topics include:
Here is a step by step example of an Approach.
Here are some thoughts to killing Approach Anxiety.
The actual APPROACH, whatever particular approach style you choose, is not only for you to actually go up and engage in a conversation with a woman, but also to generate ATTRACTION within the first 30 seconds.
Attraction can (and should be) ENHANCED and MAINTAINED thereafter in B - BUYING TEMPERATURE, but first impressions count.
A flubbed Approach means you have to work extra hard at creating that Attraction. When you stick your Approach, the rest of the ABC is easy (DEF being another story). 30 seconds of work and you'll know when you're IN or OUT. On one hand, hard to master but on the other, perhaps the EASIEST stage.
The mechanics of the actual approach differ in certain details. Like a True Indirect (indirect body language and indirect opener) to True Direct (like direct bodylanguage and direct opener) to my preferred style (direct bodylanguage and indirect opener) which I consider more versatile. But every situation and every girl needs to be judged individually (ie if she's giving you that "look", why would you bother with True Indirect?).
But why 30 seconds? Well, first impressions are made within a split second by people unconsciously. The first things they notice is Gender and Race. You're "thin sliced" within mere seconds and unconscious judgements are made of you based off your appearance, fashion, facial expression, body language, and so forth. AND, scientifically speaking, people notice Hostile/Fearful/Anxious expressions more than they do Happy/Neutral (ie getting creeped out is more likely to occur if you don't come in strong).
And that's even before you open your mouth and even includes the moment when you walk up to her and she's unconsciously aware of you on HER proximity radar.
To give it more perspective, consider in study on Speed Dating at the Edinburgh Science Festival:
- 45% of women decide within 30 seconds
- 22% of men decide within 30 seconds
30 seconds, gentleman, 30 seconds.
Quite frankly, in my estimation, if you've stuck your Approach very well, you don't need to generate much General Attraction after that. Which is a problem for Routine/Social Monkeys who run material after material in order to feel like they've got enough Attraction when, really, she's unconsciously decided that you're a potential boyfriend and/or hook up buddy even BEFORE you've finished your Opener.
Feel free discuss. Topics include:
- Body Language
[*]Indirect BL / Indirect Opener
[*]Direct BL / Direct Opener
[*]Direct BL / Indirect Opener
[*]Initial Tonality
[*]Facial Expressions
[*]Body Language
[*]Fashion
[*]Kino Open
[*]Approach Tonality
[*]Opener
[*]Walking
[*]Logistics of Approach
[*]Calibrated Energy Level
[*]Eye Contact
[*]Engaging the Group with Opener
Here is a step by step example of an Approach.
Here are some thoughts to killing Approach Anxiety.