I remember reading that women crave male attention: it makes them feel important, sexy, wanted, and (they hope) is a prelude to things she'll enjoy. I also remember reading about the need to keep your woman in line by punishing anything you don't like, or else she'll walk all over you, as well as not letting anything she does faze you, as this gives her power over you.

I realized that these seem mutually exclusive. Punishment is a kind of attention - especially considering the drama it can (and often does) create - paradoxically rewarding her for her bad behavior, as well as a sign that she's gotten to you - weakening you in her eyes - both of which are bad and can even encourage her bad behavior.

My question is how can you make sure she never does the thing you don't like again without at the same time encouraging her to act out in order to get more attention, as well as avoiding allowing her to gain power through emotional manipulation?

well, not if your punishment is freezing her out, or not doing something she enjoys, i don't know what kinda punishments you are using, but if its spanking and **** she likes, don't do it. I think you overanazlyzed this WAY too much