What i've found out the hard way is that many of us try to become DJ's in order to attract the one girl you've been talking to,seeing often etc thus getting frustrated when the "techniques/attitude" don't work.What i've found out to be better for me was to start with a clean slate,take what i've learned and apply it to strangers cause it's VERY hard to get out of FZ and often when you try to do this you cannot adapt the "mentality" that you need to.Its like trying to do what you've always done only with different means so you get back to where you started very fast.

An image analogy would be like this.You've been trying to draw a painting with a knife and you find out that you have to draw with a pencil,of course you cut the paper up alot and its impossible to finish that "painting" with a pencil,alot of us (me included) thought that possible and may still produce a work of art.It is possible but improbable,the right way is to start with a new piece of paper.

Others try to finish the first painting not by drawing with the pencil but still cutting the paper up with it so they say "this does not work any better than the knife".

So after i found out that i needed a "pencil" and found out how to "use" it i found out what i was doing wrong,and started with a new piece of paper.

What you're saying is that the girl we've been obsessing over the past year is a lost cause, and we're all better off starting things with new girls because she hasn't seen the "new" us. While that is true, it's very hard to do when you're obsessed (have oneitis) with a girl. It's the reason a lot of people stay, trying to win her over, despite what logic will tell them. A good (although obvious) tip that's hard to follow. Easier said than done.

It's the goddamn truth, and that's why it hurts. That's why it's so hard to follow. That's why not many people can make the leap, and by all means it IS a leap in some sense.

A lot of people develop bad oneitis, some even go so far as to call it "love," for a single girl that will most likely never think of them as a potential lover. Personally, I don't think those who get that far really know what love is, but that's a topic for another day. Rather than cut things off while it's still manageable, they continue the delusion until it gets the best of them. They let a wound grow until it's gone from a scraped knee to amputating an entire leg.

I had one notable situation like this. It was still early on in my DJ learning, and I was interested in an amazing girl by my lofty standards. Borderline genius, slightly artsy, ambitious, driven, beautiful, sense of humor, older than me by a year. You name it and she had it.

I brought the sexual tension to it's breaking point, but due to my lack of knowledge, never sealed it up. I just wasn't mature enough to handle her. Being 17, I was ****y and humorous, attractive and ambitious. I just lacked the maturity. She lost interest, and me not getting the hint, still tried to hook it up. She eventually pulled me aside and said she wasn't interested in me.

I could have done one of two things: ignored her truth and still pretend that we could one day be together, or cut it off and let her go as it was beyond repair. As much as it hurt me, I realized that it was better to let it go now than to drag out an awkward quasi-friendship I hoped blossomed into a relationship (which was never going to happen in my lifetime, unless she got Alzheimer's). I cut it off after about an hour of thinking afterwards, and never talked to her again after she graduated.

Even today I sometimes wonder what would have happened between us, but I do know I am a better man for quitting while still ahead. I could have carried on, gotten super depressed when she outright dissed me in front of my peers, and gone downhill. But I didn't. Last I heard, she's dating some guy from my high school phys ed class, taking it in the pooper every chance she gets, studying to be an English major to teach kids for a measly 20-30 grand a year if she's lucky. Will probably marry some uber liberal pansy who would rather make flower crowns than go to work and bring home the bacon.

I'm on my way to fame and riches, even if the process is slow and arduous. I'm starting with a degree in mechanical engineering, then working in the middle east to build some wealth, then starting a business/pursuing a career as a musician/investing in stocks or real estate. The possibilities are endless.

Bottom line guys: keep the female friends you have and find some new girls to pursue as lovers/girlfriends. Don't forget to evaluate a relationship frequently, if it slips away then start anew with a different girl.

I've had major oneitis the past couple of months, but i'm the one who said to her "we were just friends." We had something good going and then all kinds of drama took place. Her friends hated on me and we basically stopped dating.

THe ironic thing is, she still sends me text messages and calls out of the blue. It's confusing as he11, but i think her subtle contacts keeps me thinking about her more then i should!

Wouldn't she try to set a date up or something if she was still interested? I'm sort of confused about the whole situation!